It was extremely hard going back to work. I went back 2 weeks after Cliff died. My boss, my managers, my co-workers were all very supportive, but after multiple grief bursts, they found a way for me to take more time off. After I came back again, there were some people who were very supportive - I got hugs whenever I needed them, my manager and boss gave me flexibility with my time so I could go to counseling (which I got through my office's Employee Assistance Program - a godsend!). There were also people who said the most incredibly stupid, hurtful, and insensitive things to me. It was a bumpy ride. The first month back was tough going, but I kept reminding myself that I DID know my job and was good at it, and that positive self-talk often helped. By the second month back, I was able to handle the crises and stresses of the job better, and was rebuilding my self-confidence. I still had grief-bursts, but I was better able to deal with them. I do think it was crucial that I was able to go to counseling; if I was doing very badly emotionally, I could often hang on until I got to my counselor's office and then let it all out. Some friendships with coworkers were strengthened during that terrible time, and I let several others go when I realized that they were simply not there for me - some of those really hurt, too. I've always had to be detailed oriented in my work (I'm in the law), so I used my professional coping mechanisms to keep me on track and to feel less out-of-control; e.g., I've always had to maintain a calendar, I used it extensively to keep on track and not forget things - like paying the bills, school stuff for my son, etc. - I had some serious memory problems for months (related to the trauma of my husband's death). In the long run, going back to work helped, but expect it to be part of the rollercoaster ride quality of our lives for some time. Hope this helps. Love and Hugs, Martha

I co-workers have been great I work in a very small office so I think that has helped. I went back to work 3 days after the funeral. My boss told to take as much time as I needed, but I needed to get back to work. I also work in the law. I have found I am in control at work, because I have no control outside of work.

I have had those emotional breakdowns and my boss has been super. I feel the crisises and the stress at the office is nothing compared the the crisis and stress in my personal life. I have set up a tickle calendar and it has been my lifesaver in my home life. My memory problems have not been with work only with my home life.

I as not sure I could have survived without work. I am in control here. I know what to do here, but not at home. At work there are few remainders of Steve, only the picture of him I have had on my desk for years which I moved behind me and replaced with my new grandaughter's.

As Martha said expect it to be a rollercoaster for a awhile yet.

Just keep going one day at a time.

Love and support, Diane

I too find myself having trouble concentrating, especially on the mundane tasks we all must deal with. My co-workers are, for the most part, very supportive and understanding. Some of them have been through their own grief of losing a child or close loved one, others don't have a clue what I'm going through but try to interact with me on a daily basis. A simple hello, how are you, can bring the tears flowing so I do find myself avoiding people some days, but I know that most of them understand. Not sure any of this helps.

I really did not want to go back to work, after my husband died. It is mostly awkward for me because I have never liked anyone feeling bad or sorry for me. It was not that bad though, because not one co-worker asked me one thing about my husband. I went back less than a month after my beloved past away, and I am sure if they would have asked me I would have started crying. I work with children (kindergarten teacher) so they really were my escape from my reality. Now it is fine, people still do not ask, but that is okay. : )