Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Death & Dying
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Avoiding the Mail and now phone calls

tink59
tink59
I hate going to the mailbox because it just keeps opening the wounds. First a letter from the insurance company on what they paid, a couple of days later letter showing what they paid ambulance. Then few days later hospital bill, then a few days after ambulance bill. Then it's the phone calls is John there no he died, then they hang up. Well just now I received a phone call saying hey this is such and such from the mausoleum so I am thinking they are returning my phone call to redo his gravesite. No this is a different company wanting to sell us a plot. I told him no he died a few months ago, he says well could you recommend anybody that would be interested. Really, I could not believe this, it is like leave me the ________alone. I just want to run away where there is no mail or phone calls, I am tired of explaining or trying to. Andree'
deleted_user
deleted_user
I know what you mean, its like they don't care and its all business to them. i was really getting annoyed with them. but now i just want it all done and that's the way they are looking at it. its tough and it hurts us but its got to get done. (so much easier said that done).i just wish it was that easy to stop the pain.
take care,
jim
leminmpls
leminmpls
I understand completely. Because my husband had a small business, the first month or so the mail was bills and more bills - of course he's always handled them but.... I had to make so many calls to stop the calls on the business line and I am still in battle with Dex! My anxiety level when I got home and had to go the mailbox was horrendous (it would actually start before I left work). Like Jim says, it is tough and hurtful (especially Dex - the guy was so awful I received an apology call - doesn't stop them from sending bills though). I just tell myself maybe by next year this piece of the grief process will be over.
samantha43
samantha43
I too hate the mail box and phone calls. i even got a report from the er and bill my husband went to er because he was having pain and we thought he had a hernia they did an xray and he did herniate his belly button and sent him home this was a tuesday he died that sunday but the letter and bill they sent said he should follow up with his doctor but there was nothing life threatning i read that letter and just started screaming what a joke and now my insurance got cancelled because i didnt send paper work in right away they give you no time
Nicker07
Nicker07
I just got a phone call today asking for my husband. For life insurance.
Oppps al little late....but the guy was very apologetic and nice.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I can empathise. It's very hard to keep getting reminders in the mail that our spouse is gone. I don't really avoid the mail as that is something that has to be taken care of but I have found myself avoiding phone calls from my late husband's family, brothers, sisters, my stepchildren. I know they are calling because they care but every time I talk to them they want to talk about him and his last months and it just brings all the hurt back again. So I got caller i.d. and I don't answer the phone when I know it is them calling. I know this sounds like a terrible thing to do, but I just can't deal with it right now. Eventually they will stop calling so much and I think I will be relieved.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i have had many..phone call, and mail. I still get the mail, and after almost 2 years i now only get a few phone calls, finally. I had left his voice on our answering machine, it was soo comforting to me. However people seem to think that he is really there, even after death certificates, and notes have been sent and told. I even had one person after i told them he was gone (this was only a short time ago), they insisted that when my paperwork came i had to have my husband sign it and get it notorized...i told them he was gone, and they repeated what they told me once again...i mean really??..some dont listen, some dont care, some are persistant....i dont know what to tell you, it will stop after a while...but may take some time. sorry
deleted_user
deleted_user
The ambulance company called twice about their bill, and my poor daughter answered the phone both times. She politely answered them the first time when they asked for her Dad, "I'm sorry you can't talk to him, he passed away." The second time she told them that he was dead and they should know that, they took him to the hospital that way. The phone calls are tough. The mail, I just throw away. Except those dreaded bills from the night he died, which I have now paid all of , so they can't bother me anymore.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh, it gets better...wait 'til he's gone a while, and you get mail addressed to him specifically. That sends ME off the deep end...just when the pain is a little dull, that knife comes out again.

Stick with us....we're here for you. We can't bring your husband back (if we could, ours would be back to...oh...and wives would be back too)....but we can share our experiences and you won't feel so.....gee, there's no word to describe how we really feel.

Blessings and hugs,
~~Corri