I am looking for a group and the one at our church is full of older women and I dont want that so I am trying on a few at different places to see what fits.
Keep looking there will be one that fits..at least I hope so.

I am going to a grief support group this Thursday for the first time....I am afraid the same circumstances will play out.....just know I have to try to reach out because I am not doing well on my own. There are more groups about 30-40 miles away and I just cannot drive myself there at night.

I have been a widow 11 months today and about a month after my husband died, I found a support group for people who have had a loss of a loved one. I found it online. It is called "Grief Share." It is a national group and I was lucky enough to find one close to me. It is very good - Christian based and it has helped me tremendously. It is not a social hour. It is a program that has videos and books to help through all the stages of grief. It is usually held in a church. Go online to Grief Share and you can find locations near you. Good luck. Hugs to you - it is hard, but it will get better.

It took me 3 attempts in the first year to find a group that worked for me. Ideally you have a group that deals with widow and widowers as opposed to other loss's. You have a facilitator that is a widow/widower. The group is a manageable size. No more than 10-15. Dont be discouraged if the group is different ages to you. The group that worked for me I was the youngest and yet our journey of grief was so similar. They are like extended family 2 years later. Good luck in your search. The great thing is DS is always here when needed..

I attended a Hospice group for about 2 years and we developed a strong bond. There was a core group of about 5 of us who were regulars. I was the youngest by far in the group and at first that concerned me until I figured out that we still have gone thru something similar. The main difference was that they were all retired and I worked full time. I was the age of their children, but I felt comfortable.

The facilitator was excellent who allowed our group to go in it's own direction which was usually how to cope with our loss rather than the loss itself. We talked about everything from changing lightbulbs to furnace filters to get the tires rotated. We talked about the present and didn't discuss the past too much except for new member introductions.

I hope you can find one that you feel comfortable with.

Nessie from KY

I also found a GriefShare group near me ... but not until 6 months after Sam died. I've been attending for about a year and I plan to continue. Even though I did see two or three of the videos twice, that was a good thing for me because I think I still was in a fog the first time through. A whole new series of videos is now available to GriefShare groups, and we've started to view them. I find something I can relate to in every session. I recommend attending at least three sessions of any support organization in order to see if you get a feel for the group. You can see if there's a GriefShare chapter near you by entering your U.S. zip code on their website:

http://www.griefshare.org/

Wishing you peace . . .

Let me clarify that I have been involved in a wonderful group for a year, at least 20-24 participants who have come every month. This group is at a church someone told me about. The facilitator is great and always accept suggestions as to how we can make it better. We also have two volunteers from the nearby hospital who are associated with the grief support department there. We cry, we hug, we encourage and share openly. I only went because the young widow who assists the facilitator wanted suggestions to try and expand. I watched the facilitator. Sometimes when people are appointed to positions, insecurity will not accept suggestions and might not want to expand beyond what she can control.

OOPS!

First, let me apologize to Praised. I realize that you DO belong to a great group. I think I got carried away responding more to "diamorrow" than to your original post. Forgive me!

Praised, I am sorry that was a negative experience. Maybe you should suggest to your friend that assists the facilitator to join you and observe in the good group you attend. She might learn by watching someone with more expertise and experience a better way of handling the group.

I have run other kinds of groups, not a grief group, and what I found, whether I was training adults or teaching Sunday school to kids or moderating discussions, is that you have to have some kind of structure and protocol. Generally, some main goal of the meeting, followed by the "reward" if you will of social or food or activities afterwards. Basically, got to get the serious stuff out of the way before you get to play, and everyone gets heard. Sounds like the facilitator needs more training.

I guess one positive thing you could take from it is that even the "little old ladies" in the 80's were out and about socializing and carrying on. I get that feeling when I go to the Women's Institute meetings I attend - I am the youngest by many years, most members are 75 and up - including one member turning 100 next month! So no, I don't have much in common in some respects, but I am learning by example of how to live a full life no matter what happens by being around these ladies. It's like hanging out with the "pro's." :)

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I did find grief share but nothing close.
But I did meet with a counselor from hospice today and she has a widow group that starts on the 24th. I plan to see her weekly and attend her group. Found another group very close to home and it is tomorrow night. The group I attended on Monday was kind of a dud. Not a grief group so I could not relate to anything....
Cant stop crying tonight....my life went from the best time ever to the worst most horrid in the blink of an eye...

Hi Diamorrow...
I agree with Martha, that it sounds like the facilitator needs more training. I wondered if you had provided the feedback you gave here to your friend, or if you could approach the pastor about this? In a 20,000 member church there should be something available and fulfilling for everyone.
I trained specifically in peer support for mental health, and as facilitator, you do have to learn how to gently reign the more vocal members in, as well as draw out those who are less strong in speaking up. Perhaps this sort of training would benefit the leader of that group?
In any case I am glad to hear you are still trying. I've found the groups I attended were so beneficial.
Sending big hugs...
Jac

Grief-share and a hospice group were both good for me. The hospice group lasted longer and I went to it for about a year. That group ended and they started another a few months later. I dropped in on the new group for a little support during the holidays. This group had new people who had recent loss. Two had lost children to suicide and the others were recent widows/widowers. This group was clearly in a different place than I was. I was interested in moving on and letting go while they were in the early stages of grief. They were not ready to discuss my type of issues and their pain was too much for me. To me a group has to be a good fit and they have to be ready for what you have to offer and you have to be ready to listen to them.

This group was much better. There is also a group of more my age folks that i will check out too.
My grief counselor also has a group that I will attend.
I will keep at this...

I am going to my first group tonight.....not sure what to expect. It only meets twice a month but it is the only game in town, so I am hoping for the best.....I just have to get some help.

I can't find a group. I have contacted Hospice, Hospitals, Funeral Homes and came up with nothing. I search for Grief Share and the closest to me is 2+ hours away. I signed up for their daily email, but haven't found anything else.