Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I've come to think that few people have encountered widows/widowers. I've come to this conclusion because no one seems to know quite what to make of us. Here's what I noticed:
1. People say we'll find someone new. To me this seems appropriate for someone who has divorced or broke up with someone.
2. The banks refuses to give us our money that is in husband's name even though a death certificate should suffice.
3. there are tons of places to get support if you're getting a divorce, but very few if you're widowed.
4. Bill collectors still expect us to pay for bills that are in our husbands names. They seem surprised when they find out they're not in a community property state.
5. You must pay taxes on both incomes even if you have to go to court to get access to the money in your husband's names.
I don't know, people just seem dumb when it comes to us.
Any others notice this?
1. People say we'll find someone new. To me this seems appropriate for someone who has divorced or broke up with someone.
2. The banks refuses to give us our money that is in husband's name even though a death certificate should suffice.
3. there are tons of places to get support if you're getting a divorce, but very few if you're widowed.
4. Bill collectors still expect us to pay for bills that are in our husbands names. They seem surprised when they find out they're not in a community property state.
5. You must pay taxes on both incomes even if you have to go to court to get access to the money in your husband's names.
I don't know, people just seem dumb when it comes to us.
Any others notice this?
cliffskat
Yeah, I've noticed that, too. Finding I was legally responsible for things that I also was not going to be given access to is a pain. Also, despite the fact that I was the one paying all the bills, I had to leave some things, like the electric - in his name or I would have had to pay another couple hundred dollars deposit to open an account in my name - they wouldn't let me just change it to me. They've been happy to take my money all this time..... Annoying, isn't it?
Lininsocal
People who bill you are such a pain. I have left most of the bills just as they were because it is too much of a hassel and costly to change them..stupid, what is it they don't understand about my husband is dead and I would prefer to see the bills under my name. I got KILLED in taxes this year and will have to give them my first born if they won't accept a compromise offer. My pension isn't for life, it's just for a limited period of time and even though I had a lot of doctor bills and debts to pay they don't seem to count. No consideration for a widowed person..no compassion.
NewRoadsForMe
When I tried to change the name on a major credit card (department store), they said I would have to fill out a new application and get approved on my own. I said, well, if ya'll don't care if I charge things on a dead person's account, I don't care either. Have a nice day. Ridiculous!
deleted_user
My hubby keeps gettin Credit card offers, car loan offers,and consolidation offers. YET they say i qualify for nothing. I guess a dead persons credit is better than mine. Hillarious. I sent death certificates to his medical bills then they sent me new bills addressed to the "Estate of" lol hahahaha, they make it sound like there is this big Estate in his name. Good luck to them on that, maybe they can sue him. Definately NO compassion for deceased's families.
LoveOfLife
It's unbelievable the hoops we must jump through while in the grieving process. AOL kept insisting on "talking" to my husband before they would change the account to my name. Citibank insisted that I had to open a new account despite the fact that I had been paying the bills for a year after my husband's death unless my husband "authorized them" to change the account name. Just a few examples!!!
Join the Conversation