Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Jeff and I had spent the last 4 Valentine's Days apart since he was on the board of a conference in Vegas that met there every Valentine's Day and I was off of the speaker's list due to the fact that you have to rotate off every 2 years. I'm back on the lecture circuit now, so this was going to be the first year in 5 years we both spent Valentine's Day in Vegas together. Instead, I'll be home without him on Valentine's Day and then in Vegas solo for 4 days. How sucky is that? I'm not sure 'sucky' is even a word, but it feels like one tonight. Anyone else dreading Valentine's Day or have a suggestion for softening the blow?
CJ
CJ
deleted_user
CJ, Valentines Day was a big deal for Pattie & me, every holiday was. For that matter, I suppose every day with each other was a big deal too. But, not going there, it could get quite messy. I will buy Pattie roses for her gravesite. I want it to be beautiful on Valentines Day. So far I have also bought her favorite perfume for her Christmas, so that I could spray it on some of her clothes. That way her scent will always be there for me. It really helps a lot. But, I think I will stay home and find something to do on V-Day. -Sam
deleted_user
It has been just 2 weeks since my husband died, but since he was late stage alcoholic, I started grieving almost 9 months ago. So now, I am already "future tripping" on things like Valentine's day, my bithday. He was only 53. I am fairly new to sobriety, and I kept holding out hope that he would see the hope. My loss feels like a combination of cancer and suicide, I think. I have a good amount of support from aa, but I think it might be a good idea to call this local grief counseling service. I am glad this post is here.
lindalun
CJ; I agree that anticipation of the holidays is worst that the actual day. Carlos always got me some red roses. I will miss it so much but now is my turn because I will go and buy him some red roses and take it to the gravesite. I will take lunch, a nice book and sit by the gravesite and have some time with him. I will let him know how I am holding on and how much I love and miss him. I know that he will laugh and say her comes that Crazy woman again instead of going out to have some fun (lol). I don't like the holidays but they will come regardless of what we do so we just have to make the best of it. Hope you get to see some nice shows while you are in Las Vegas. Linda
deleted_user
Valentine's Day would be our 21st anniversary. He died January 17 last year, and I keep hoping now that this anniversary without him will be easier than the last one.
deleted_user
Hi everyone, just reading all the posts today, My anniversary would have been 41 years yesterday (23rd) Husband passed away Dec 08. Such a lonley time. Don't like holidays at all any more just try to go along. Into the second year of being a widow (hate that word)some days are better than others. Just cause that what is expected.
tskks
I'm dreading it. My husband was a true romantic and loved expressing his love on Valentines day. But I will comfort myself with cards, poems and letters from the past.
deleted_user
CJ, Treat yourself as if he were still here and doing it for you. Feb is just a sucky month all around for me with Vday followed by my birthday on the 16th. Tom was great with cards. I always got 2 or 3. He loved the silly, but would get at least 1 romantic one for me. I think I will go through the ones I kept while drinking a glass of wine and having a good cry. Then I will go out and get myself flowers and something special for my bday. It won't bring him back but those are the things he would do if he were still alive. Hugs, Barb
deleted_user
I'm not sure what to do, this will be my third valentines w/o Willie. I don't remember the last two. I'm finding this as a pattern I can't realy seem to remember any of the holidays since he passed. I'm not sure what to do about that.
loveandgrace
In a word, yes. The same way seeing loving couples, kissing or holding hands hurts. Not that I would deny anyone their share of love and happiness. It's just that it's a reminder of what's so obviously gone from my world and how very much I miss it.
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