Hi Sandi. I am sorry you are having a hard time. Have you considered talking to a therapist? I've heard from so many how helpful it is, and I am considering it myself. I, too, am having anxiety attacks. I don't think it is unusual with what we are going through. I also find it hard to be in the house, and spend as much time as I can outside with my dogs.

As for hiking alone, I don't think it is safe to do that in Colorado. There are mountain lions and bears out there! I wouldn't hike alone. I know you just recently moved. Do you have any friends you can hike with? Local Sierra club? REI? Getting out and getting exercise would probably make you feel better.

I am still very early in my grief...only 11 weeks, and still feel quite lost. My heart goes out to you. I know how hard it is.

Hang in there.
Lori

I haven't had anxiety attacks but I can certainly understand how it would be possible when you have suffered such a profound loss. Due in the grieving process there are so many changes that take place in both the spiritual and physical sense that one can not help but get overwhelmed. It is fighting at times living with the reality that you will never see your soul mate on this earth again. I know from personal experience this is the hardest thing that I have ever debt with. My best advice to you would to go to professional and get the medical attention that you need. As hard as it is for us to comprehend we.are all in the healing process and our lives will.get better and once again be fulfilling. Good luck to you and I will keep you in my prayers and thoughts..

Sometimes anxiety can be suffocating, in addition to painful. I was basically similar to what you are experiencing, in addition to severe depression and a touch of PTSD.

I believe it is part of the normal process when you lose a spouse. Recreating yourself and your new life is a difficult process. As for safety, you have to pick and choose what is and what is not.

I went to a therapist and just by getting things out that I feared was I able to slowly heal from them.

I had a little bit of anxiety before Brad passed, but it has tripled in the past 7 months. I always had this sense of security before, I guess because I knew that he wouldn't let anything happen to me or our kids. He was always the one who was being paranoid and had anxiety, but still I always knew he'd do whatever it took to protect us. So since he passed I have not felt that sense of security at all. The first months I was not even comfortable in my own home! But it even goes beyond that. I can be sitting at work and get one out of nowhere. And its awful because all I want to do is get out of there as fast as I can! You are not alone. I know may people don't agree with taking anything for it, and on some level I agree, but it might be helpful to talk to someone about it. I was already taking a small amount of anti anxiety, but as of last week it has tripled because of the number of anxiety attacks I was still getting. So far so good, I seem to be feeling a lot better. Hugs! Erin

I had a lot of anxiety when Mitch got sick, my chest would hurt and I couldn't breathe and I would usually have a panic attack. I learned to calm myself. I learned to recognize what was happening and learned to calm myself. I had some problems after he died but they have subsided lately. The only time they come back is when I am under a ton of stress. Learning to recognize the symptoms and to calm yourself will help. That's not to say that I can always control them. When I cannot, I go outside and sit down, and breathe and that solves the problem.

I am not as secure as I was when Marv was alive. Let's face it, we not only lost our protector but we are alone. I was afraid of something happening and no one would know. Every terrible thing u can think of, I did. I finally talked to my Dr. I got Xanax , which I took for a short time. I stopped taking it. Now I'm ok. I have a buddy system with my friends to text me everyday or I'll text her just so she knows I'm ok. That made me feel better. Keeping busy helped.
Talk to someone. It may help you. This is a tough thing to go through.
Maureen

Sandi....talk to your doctor. I NEVER had anything remotely close to anxiety until Andrea was diagnosed, then over the past two years (she's gone six months now) I've battled it often: during her treatments, her passing, and now as well. Its a physical manifestation of your stress/grief/loss/et.al. and can be managed. My biggest issue is going to bed at night.....many a night I paced and couldn't settle down. Again, its normal and manageable. Talk to your doc.
John

I'm the same way especially with the paranoid feeling. I too was comfortable doing things alone but now find it hard to even go for a walk which is something I really need. I'm thinking it might have to do with working so hard to keep myself from falling apart for so long. I hate it. I'm also taking a SSRI med and it keeps me feeling kind of flat which is not helpful either. I got dressed this morning and went out. Didn't feel much and that's a problem for me. Sorry the anxiety is bothering you. I have always had it churning just below the surface. It's not pleasant but feeling nothing, for me, is just as bad.