Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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mel40 07/26/2013

I am so angry today, I don't know what to do. I'm just going to list why and see if it helps. I'm angry bc I lost my husband at 40 yrs old. People feel sorry for me. Being the only one responsible for taking care of the home, etc. having a broken ankle. My 14 yr ol daughter doesn't want anyone coming over to help me bc she wants to take care of me and our lives. She calls me lazy bc I lay on the couch with my foot up. Tomorrow will be one week since I've left the house (only to go to the Dr). I relied heavily on my friends and family when Mike passed away 4 months ago. I'm having to rely on them again. Grieving doesn't go the way I want it to, easy, flowing, just tears and missing him. It can appear in other forms. I can't get out and see people who are home bound. I can't go to parties (not that there are any). I can't get a pedi. I can't drive. I can't take my daughter to hang out with her friends and she can't drive. I can't water my yard.
I have a blog, but it's not working, so I'm using this site. I don't mean to be poisonous. I have plenty to be grateful for. It's raining. I have 3 more weeks to heal before going back to school. My bills are paid. I have a home and food (but I'm out of wine). I have wonderful friends and family members. I have pain pills. I started taking Hydrocodine last night. And I think it may actually be the cause for why I feel angry. I started feeling angry and defensive about an hour after I took it. I hate this feeling. Sorry y'all.

sandeestttn 07/26/2013

mel, I get over aught also. Just something else piled on. You will be alright. Pain brings out my feeling sorry for myself, always has.

You just remember the small amount of time you have to lay there now. Is nothing compared to having surgery. So, stay down!!!

p.s. I am out of wine too.

papagena 07/26/2013

Good, get it off your chest. You are angry because you are frustrated you cannot move but think this is just a temporary set back. You will walk again soon.

Get a friend to buy you some wine and try to relax, nothing else you can do. You will be alright soon.

Wishing you patience.

BCHRISTINA 07/26/2013

I am sorry you feel that way. I know well this waves of emotion... I am on the very same boat, if not worse... because I dont even have children. Please dont take this the wrong way, but if you are a christian, try reading the book of Jobs.. This has given me great comfort... Just know that we are here for you and that right now all it matters is you, what others think or feel is for them to worry, not you.

sandeestttn 07/26/2013

God grant me patience..... But HURRY!!!!!!!

mel40 07/26/2013

Thanks all. Sandee LOL!

jewells1 07/26/2013

I am so sorry, All these and more seem to multiply, when you can't get out.
Plus you were doing fairly well in your grief until the ankle broke. So you may feel a setback because your ability to leave for an outing is hindered.
Have daughter invite a few friends over for a sleep over. Simple fare type pizza and pop, dvd movies,. If you are friends with one of the parents see if they can do a little shopping for it and share a glass of wine. (include on list)
Happy thoughts of hope, for you today.
jewell

deleted_user 07/26/2013

I hope you heal soon. In the meantime,some liquor stores deliver wine!
DorothyJoan

mel40 07/26/2013

A friend is bringing me wine. I took a nap. I feel better. I think part of it was how the narcotics affected me. Anxious and aggravated. The bank called me this morning about refinancing my home and I almost burst into tears! Just because I felt so agitated. Hopefully, I won't need to take any tonight, but if I do, I will and just be aware of my mood. The foot feels better this afternoon. Thanks so much for your support and understanding. I must admit, I'm pretty proud of myself. I've been laid up in pain since Sunday. I was bound to get a little cranky 20 yrs ago, I wouldn't have made it 3 days without crying!

sandeestttn 07/26/2013

mel, I panicked and ran and bought 2 bottles of wine today, just in case I get laid up. lol....

my-jimmy 07/26/2013

Sorry about your ankle... yep those pain pills will do it everytime... I've been out of wine for years... LOL! actually never liked wine... but hey if that's all there was well.... anyhow yes grief does strange things to us... and then some! Wishing you a brighter tomorrow! Blessings!

Scouserboots 07/26/2013

Just got to be careful, make sure the pills can be taken whilst drinking alcohol, if not skip the alcohol until pills are done. Sometimes there can be a negative effect.

mel40 07/27/2013

I did fine without pain pills last night. Slept until 6 am, when the cat woke me up. Hopefully, I won't need them anymore. But, if I do, then I've got them. I wouldn't combine pain pills with any alcohol...and if I had to choose, I would choose wine over the pills! More natural! Sandee, you are funny!

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