Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi everyone. Two remarkable things happened to me this morning. First, I must tell you about yesterday. I have not been able to find Sharry's wedding and engagement rings. I looked through her jewelry box, checked all the other little boxes in the drawers, but no luck. I asked her last night, if she could help me in some way to find them. I also said that if you are not able or allowed to do this, not to worry, that I know what we had, regardless of recovering them.
This morning started like nearly every one since Sharry passed. Getting Matt ready to go to the CP center, then a quick coffee before starting the daily chores and routine. Part of that routine is feeling a heavy weight of sadness descend on my chest, knowing everything I will do, and everywhere I go, will remind me of her, and that she is missing from our lives. Today, I remember feeling it start, and thinking, here it comes again.I got up from my chair to put my coffee cup in the sink, when a simple, matter of fact statement popped into my mind. " I am holding you both in my arms". I knew it did not come from my thoughts, as I was feeling anything but comfort at that moment. Suddenly I felt lighter, lighter than I had since July 7th, 2013. I still didn't fully realize what was happening. I quickly got ready to grocery shop, then realized that I had forgotten to charge my phone. I really needed to get going to make all the stops before Matt would get home.I remembered that the box for the phone was somewhere in the vanity drawer, as this phone was originally Sharry's. I went to the drawer to see if it was still there,and if we had a car charger in it. No box. As I was lifting my hand away, I bumped a glass cone shaped little object that I had seen before, but being a jewelry ignorant man, had no idea what it was. Even after a good friend had told me to look for something like this, I still didn't recognize what it was, until I pulled it out after hearing something jingle when my hand hit it. There they were! How many times had I been drawn to that drawer, more than any other, looking for the rings, but was far too jewelry ignorant to even notice them down at the bottom of that cone. This was no accident. That penetrating comforting thought and the accidental finding of the rings just moments later, we're a gift of peace to my very soul. There will be sadness ahead of us, but this reassurance will never leave me. I am sorry this was such a long read, I just had to tell you the details, so you would fully understand. One last thing, the most important, I think. The thought was placed in my mind; I am holding you both in my arms, not, I just began holding you both in my arms today. We have been held the entire time, but without this reassuring event, my faith was lacking enough strength to experience it. That, is no longer the case. I want all of you to know, that this was meant for you as well. Even in our sadness, we are all being held up. God is present, our spouses live, and love us still, and always. Thanks for reading my book. There may be room on this page for one or two responses!
Robert
This morning started like nearly every one since Sharry passed. Getting Matt ready to go to the CP center, then a quick coffee before starting the daily chores and routine. Part of that routine is feeling a heavy weight of sadness descend on my chest, knowing everything I will do, and everywhere I go, will remind me of her, and that she is missing from our lives. Today, I remember feeling it start, and thinking, here it comes again.I got up from my chair to put my coffee cup in the sink, when a simple, matter of fact statement popped into my mind. " I am holding you both in my arms". I knew it did not come from my thoughts, as I was feeling anything but comfort at that moment. Suddenly I felt lighter, lighter than I had since July 7th, 2013. I still didn't fully realize what was happening. I quickly got ready to grocery shop, then realized that I had forgotten to charge my phone. I really needed to get going to make all the stops before Matt would get home.I remembered that the box for the phone was somewhere in the vanity drawer, as this phone was originally Sharry's. I went to the drawer to see if it was still there,and if we had a car charger in it. No box. As I was lifting my hand away, I bumped a glass cone shaped little object that I had seen before, but being a jewelry ignorant man, had no idea what it was. Even after a good friend had told me to look for something like this, I still didn't recognize what it was, until I pulled it out after hearing something jingle when my hand hit it. There they were! How many times had I been drawn to that drawer, more than any other, looking for the rings, but was far too jewelry ignorant to even notice them down at the bottom of that cone. This was no accident. That penetrating comforting thought and the accidental finding of the rings just moments later, we're a gift of peace to my very soul. There will be sadness ahead of us, but this reassurance will never leave me. I am sorry this was such a long read, I just had to tell you the details, so you would fully understand. One last thing, the most important, I think. The thought was placed in my mind; I am holding you both in my arms, not, I just began holding you both in my arms today. We have been held the entire time, but without this reassuring event, my faith was lacking enough strength to experience it. That, is no longer the case. I want all of you to know, that this was meant for you as well. Even in our sadness, we are all being held up. God is present, our spouses live, and love us still, and always. Thanks for reading my book. There may be room on this page for one or two responses!
Robert
Robert