Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The thread "I'm Back" written by "soulmates" sort of answers a question that has been nagging me for a while. My husband died over four years ago. I discovered Daily Strength on Bing one evening when surfing the Web. I thought perhaps I shouldn't participate in the threads since I was so long in my journey, and for most of you it is current and very raw.
After reading the posts several weeks, I decided not to stay in the shadows any longer. I joined DS to contribute, to grow, to learn; and to my surprise I found that all my feelings and challenges of my first weeks and months were soooo very normal (sure wish I would have known that then). It may sound silly, but even four years later that is comforting to know. As with most of the members at DS, we don't have a manual to instruct us on the dos and don'ts of being a widow/widower.
I can say assuredly that during my 4-year journey, those weeks, months, and years following my loss most definitely changed me. The person most surprised at that is me. I am now a combination of the faith, thoughts, values, deeds, and forward-thinking that my loss has created. I am content with that and find myself smiling as I look forward to what the next day bringsand I now know that it usually brings something unexpected and exciting. OK, some days are boring, but most days I've learned to be adventurousso the hunt begins for creative experiences, helpful gestures, thought-provoking conversations, and, of course, just plain fun!
I write this not to bring others down, but to let others know that there is life and hope beyond the excruciating pain of those first weeks and months. I didn't believe that when I first lost my husband, but I have discoveredor should I say stumbled over--it along my path. I hope in writing this that I have not discouraged others because of my participation on this Web site. I write this to encourage my fellow members that life goes on and even becomes GOOD once again.
Thank you all for each and every experience you dared to share. I have been encouraged and blessed through all of the threads. Blessings. TJ
After reading the posts several weeks, I decided not to stay in the shadows any longer. I joined DS to contribute, to grow, to learn; and to my surprise I found that all my feelings and challenges of my first weeks and months were soooo very normal (sure wish I would have known that then). It may sound silly, but even four years later that is comforting to know. As with most of the members at DS, we don't have a manual to instruct us on the dos and don'ts of being a widow/widower.
I can say assuredly that during my 4-year journey, those weeks, months, and years following my loss most definitely changed me. The person most surprised at that is me. I am now a combination of the faith, thoughts, values, deeds, and forward-thinking that my loss has created. I am content with that and find myself smiling as I look forward to what the next day bringsand I now know that it usually brings something unexpected and exciting. OK, some days are boring, but most days I've learned to be adventurousso the hunt begins for creative experiences, helpful gestures, thought-provoking conversations, and, of course, just plain fun!
I write this not to bring others down, but to let others know that there is life and hope beyond the excruciating pain of those first weeks and months. I didn't believe that when I first lost my husband, but I have discoveredor should I say stumbled over--it along my path. I hope in writing this that I have not discouraged others because of my participation on this Web site. I write this to encourage my fellow members that life goes on and even becomes GOOD once again.
Thank you all for each and every experience you dared to share. I have been encouraged and blessed through all of the threads. Blessings. TJ
In the midst of your experiencing so much pain and loss, thank you for your sensitivity in your response to my post. I cannot imagine the immense pain you are living with due to the passing of so many in your immediate family: your beloved Paul, your mother, a brother-in-law, an uncle, and your grandmother. Oh my, so much on your plate to deal with!!!
Please know that I didn't start this thread because of any offense. On the contrary, your honesty in bearing your heart in your post "I'm Back" gave me the shove I needed to express my feelings about my participation on the DS Web site.
Those first days, weeks, and months are so agonizing. I certainly didn't want to add to the anguish. I in no means wanted to come across as Pollyannaish when describing my journey and finally discovering contentment and peace. Life changes every day, and I've learned to hang on and see how it pans out!
It has been humbling to read the encouraging comments. What a great team DS becomes as we join one another at different stages of our journey. Blessings to all of you for taking the time to "cheer me on." TJ