Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
The thread "I'm Back" written by "soulmates" sort of answers a question that has been nagging me for a while. My husband died over four years ago. I discovered Daily Strength on Bing one evening when surfing the Web. I thought perhaps I shouldn't participate in the threads since I was so long in my journey, and for most of you it is current and very raw.
After reading the posts several weeks, I decided not to stay in the shadows any longer. I joined DS to contribute, to grow, to learn; and to my surprise I found that all my feelings and challenges of my first weeks and months were soooo very normal (sure wish I would have known that then). It may sound silly, but even four years later that is comforting to know. As with most of the members at DS, we don't have a manual to instruct us on the dos and don'ts of being a widow/widower.
I can say assuredly that during my 4-year journey, those weeks, months, and years following my loss most definitely changed me. The person most surprised at that is me. I am now a combination of the faith, thoughts, values, deeds, and forward-thinking that my loss has created. I am content with that and find myself smiling as I look forward to what the next day bringsand I now know that it usually brings something unexpected and exciting. OK, some days are boring, but most days I've learned to be adventurousso the hunt begins for creative experiences, helpful gestures, thought-provoking conversations, and, of course, just plain fun!
I write this not to bring others down, but to let others know that there is life and hope beyond the excruciating pain of those first weeks and months. I didn't believe that when I first lost my husband, but I have discoveredor should I say stumbled over--it along my path. I hope in writing this that I have not discouraged others because of my participation on this Web site. I write this to encourage my fellow members that life goes on and even becomes GOOD once again.
Thank you all for each and every experience you dared to share. I have been encouraged and blessed through all of the threads. Blessings. TJ
After reading the posts several weeks, I decided not to stay in the shadows any longer. I joined DS to contribute, to grow, to learn; and to my surprise I found that all my feelings and challenges of my first weeks and months were soooo very normal (sure wish I would have known that then). It may sound silly, but even four years later that is comforting to know. As with most of the members at DS, we don't have a manual to instruct us on the dos and don'ts of being a widow/widower.
I can say assuredly that during my 4-year journey, those weeks, months, and years following my loss most definitely changed me. The person most surprised at that is me. I am now a combination of the faith, thoughts, values, deeds, and forward-thinking that my loss has created. I am content with that and find myself smiling as I look forward to what the next day bringsand I now know that it usually brings something unexpected and exciting. OK, some days are boring, but most days I've learned to be adventurousso the hunt begins for creative experiences, helpful gestures, thought-provoking conversations, and, of course, just plain fun!
I write this not to bring others down, but to let others know that there is life and hope beyond the excruciating pain of those first weeks and months. I didn't believe that when I first lost my husband, but I have discoveredor should I say stumbled over--it along my path. I hope in writing this that I have not discouraged others because of my participation on this Web site. I write this to encourage my fellow members that life goes on and even becomes GOOD once again.
Thank you all for each and every experience you dared to share. I have been encouraged and blessed through all of the threads. Blessings. TJ
All of us on this website are traveling down the road of grief. Some are just further ahead, but we can reach back and help those who are just starting out on their journey. Every time I do that I find I'm the one who actually gets the blessing.
Blessings,
Tami
I am glad to know that you have come through your tragedy and have the courage to go on with your life without your soul mate. Thank you.
Funny how when you begin to get glimpses of hope and of light at the end of the tunnel or light at the end of one's walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you start to feel a little guilty that you can be happy at times! Also the notion and psychological effort of beginning to "let go" of your beautiful, charming, best friend, spouse and lover seems so immense and hurtful that it is almost another hurdle of grief mountain to climb. I think I am almost over the painful, excriciating part of grief, but now have to fae the "letting go" bit.
The whole re-partnering thing just seems to momentous to seriously consider presently. Thanks TJ, Tami and other wise ones! John
Big Hug,
Stephanie
For now, for those of you just beginning the journey......cry, rant, scream, whatever comes naturally for you to do to help...do not be ashamed, nor let anyne else tell you how to grieve. It is an individual journey that no one else can take for you.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you.
glfngrl