I am at 7 months today. There are days I feel "normal" and days when I feel really bad and cry. I still wear my ring and his ring is on a chain around my neck. We had so many plans.......now they are gone. Now I have to make plans for me....not us. That makes me sad. Colleen

I can't remember 7 months precisely, but I do think it was not too bad for me then. I can recall thinking I am dealing with this better than I hoped/expected, and then it all went horribly wrong a couple months later. It's getting accustomed to the constant ebb and flow of grief that I struggle with. When I am doing well, I want it to be a permanent improvement and it hasn't worked that way for me.
Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a super frustrating game of Mother May I? and just as I get close to winning I am sent back to the very beginning. That was a goofy analogy I suppose, from spending my days entertaining little girls.
I also have a difficult time letting go of his things, and spend a lot of time thinking about "if onlys". It's been 11 months now and I think I accept this is the way it is, but I hate that it is this way it is, The main thing I aim for at the moment is not to let my pain and longing rob me of the moments that are here now. So much of the past 11 months is a blur and I don't want to miss out on my granddaughters sweet and funny moments and have to add that to the column of regrets later. Sorry I am rambling. The short answer is, it's all normal. Take good care. ((())) Sue

Take advantage of whatever healing comes your way...........it is a roller coaster and you will have ups and downs..........all kinds of memories come flooding in and know that you lived a real life with all kinds of good and bad times.............that is the stuff of which life is made. I still wear my ring after 41/2 years................I didn't for a while because I felt as if I was denying his passing....now it is a remembrance of how well I was loved................
Lori

I will be at 7 months on the 16th. Yes some days i feel normal and then days when i feel so sad and cry and don't want to go out. Some days it still does not seem real but I know it is. I still wear my rings.

It's all normal in grief. I have beat myself up over many things, that's normal too. I am at 2 1/2 yrs and still can't believe he's gone, I still cry but not as often now. But I still miss him every minute. I guess it will never change, it will just fade with time.

At about 7 months I was still in denial, unbelief, a fog. Couldn't sleep for long without having to wake up an read or watch TV.

I thought at a year it would get better but it didn't, then the second year seemed worse. I am almost at 3 and don't foresee much change happening. We just keep on keeping on wheather we like it or not, 1 step 1 day at a time.

Hugs,
JoAnn

Such excellent perspectives in the previous replies. Sue's Mother may I? analogy was spot on. (being male, I did have to google it however) There are so many times I have believed the corner was turned, only to have the locomotive meet me head on rounding that bend. We grieve in layers, it seems. One day, nothing on Earth seems right or acceptable, then a day or more if we are lucky, filled with more hope than sorrow. For me, the shock ended around the 7th month. Once the new routine and responsibilities were dealt with, then the deep sorrow took over. The anxiety seemed to decrease, but missing her terribly, took over. Your worst days come when you encounter many triggers for your grief. A song, a happy couple, driving past a favorite place, an object or picture that reminds us of a time, .etc.. there is an endless supply. When these begin to become more comforting, or at least acceptable, instead of causing that stab in the heart feeling, we will begin to heal. At just over 10 months, this is just beginning for me. It gives me hope, but there are miles still to be traveled. Know that all you are feeling is normal, and will probably fluctuate for some time yet. Take care, and prayers for you all.
Robert

I don't think I can take this pain for that long. Especially if the pain only gets worse. Without him I really don't have anything to live for - we didn't want kids. I don't regret that, but see where it makes a difference for others in wanting to stay alive, or having to.

I was just posting about this very subject on another topic. At 7 months and before and after all I wanted was him back. I felt I was behind the way I should be living but I didn't care. Like gogo cat I felt I lost my life and reason for living. We have children and grandchildren but it didn't matter. I wanted him.

So many people here on DS told me about baby steps and there's no time frame for grieving. One statement I clearly remember that came from hospice was "just be"

That makes so much sense in hindsight, but then it wasn't clear what they meant. You are where you need to be. It's okay and you're okay. You will make it to hope and beyond. You are doing what is right for you and my prayers go with you. Sharon

"What is normal?"

That was the topic in my GriefShare group today. And the answer was that just about everything is normal in one way or another. The comparison to a roller coaster was also part of today's discussion.

I found it particularly comforting that so much of what is discussed in GriefShare is similarly covered here on DS.

Thanks to everyone for being here -- listening -- and sharing.

Sincerely,
Bandi

At 7 months I was still in a fog... I gave myself 1 year to grieve the grueling grief. After that it became better for me. Each day... at almost 16 months here. I think of him everyday, especially during special times, like my grandsons graduation, yesterday, or my birthday tomorrow. Maybe a tear will fall, but not the crying jags anymore.