Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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NewRoadsForMe 03/31/2013

Hi, everybody. I hope you all had a day with someone you love. For me,I was all alone all day. The loneliness got to me. I actually went to bed this afternoon hoping to sleep off the hours just to get rid of them.

My son and family were busy with friends. My daughter and family were at her in-laws.

I went to church alone. Was surrounded by families and couples. Didn't see anyone else all alone, just me. Many people said HI to me but moved on with their families. After church I went to a cafeteria to eat. I stood in line for 30 minutes waiting to get up to the ordering place. All around me were families and couples. I saw only one other person who appeared to be all alon (a man). I enjoyed the food very much. But no conversation with anyone. Just munch, munch, munch, all alone.

Loneliness is a big problem with me even though I have days with other people around me some. But the endless hours at home alone, at church alone, shopping alone, seeing a movie alone, dining out alone make me so very sad.

How did you all spend your days today, Easter?

NewRoadsForMe 04/01/2013

My father was a pastor and every Easter for me for about 45 years we were in church together (grandparents/parents/ kids/grands). I raised by kids in church. For me, Easter is about Jesus and his sacrifice, a very sacred day.

Yesterday, my son and DIL and GS were supposed to go to church with me (their choice), but a newly discovered relative dropped in for the weekend and they decided to go boating even though they had already been boating Friday and Saturday. Wouldn't even spend 2 hrs to go to church (can wear jeans) and then hit the water about 1 PM. So I was all alone while they were having fun on the water. They have different values than I. I thought I had raised them to honor Easter. It's so easy to take the easier route - indulge yourself in fun, at the expense of family time. They knew it would hurt me but they did it anyway.

sandeestttn 04/01/2013

I raised my children in church also, AND the importance of family and togetherness....and especially church, and Christ......So, where did we go wrong, that their selfishness has reared its ugly head....

doyew 04/01/2013

I had family with me for Easter yesterday - but have spent many lonely holidays during 4 yrs. as a widow. My heart aches for those of you who were alone yesterday and those who are new to this "grief journey" because it is very painful; eventually we adjust after time passes. Life is never the same, but we realize that we can go on somehow. Just a thought...the children who choose other places, other activities on what has been a family holiday may not be able to face their own pain/sorrow and their loss on these special days. They are too self-absorbed to realize how much pain their remaining parent is feeling, and how being alone is so very hard. They don't realize how much their presence would lift your spirits. My family situation is not perfect -- I have 2 adult children & 4 grands. I am 74 - and my youngest grand is 10. My daughter and I did go to the cemetery and place Spring flowers on my husband's grave. It has rained so much lately, that I had not done this. I was glad she went with me. My divorced son & teenage dtr. live with me now. Big changes for me. I wish all of you the blessing of a peaceful heart - Doye

nowjustme 04/01/2013

Sorry you had such a lonely day Kathleen. I had my family over for about 30 min in the morning then I was alone all day. I never made it to church. I watched so many movies I am tired of TV already. I hope things get better for all of us here. I'm tired of all of it.
Hugs,
JoAnn

Porchpuppy 04/01/2013

I spent the day alone. I did talk to a neighbor and family member but that took up a very small part of the day. Actually I was ok with being alone. Sometimes that is easier than making small talk with friends that have no clue what I am feeling.

BotsBushBaby 04/01/2013

I feel you.. I was also alone apart from a meal at a friends house yesterday. I have never been a person who takes to being alone well.. not in the past,.. and not now. I know how you feel and I hope things get better for you.. for all of us who are so lonely. Sometimes the lonelines feels like a physical pain.. its awful. Hugs Gail

deleted_user 04/01/2013

yes I had some travel time on good friday but easter spent alone due to chidlrens plans, that did not bother me since I work the next day, its other things, that get to me , like trying to talk to them while they are packing to travel and getting misunderstood that is harder and making easter not so happy.

deleted_user 04/02/2013

It's been 3 months for me. My youngest son calls me every night. He drove 8 hours to my home and then 8 hours back to his home so I could spend Easter with him and his wife and my grandson, Luke who is 5 and granddaughters, Layla and Lara age 4. They are identical twins. This was my first visit alone. I am staying this week. My son will drive me home on Saturday. I have had some bad moments but the kids keep me smiling. I'm making it one day at a time. My older son lives in CA and he calls quite often. I wish they lived closer but I am lucky they are so caring even if it has to be long distance.

onebrokenheart 04/03/2013

I too spent Easter alone. We had no children. My parents and brothers all live far away. My mother called me to wish me a happy Easter then went on to describe the wonderful meal she was fixing and the good time they were all going to have. I know it was her way to sort of include me but I just felt even more alone. I admire all the comments from people who went to church alone or were brave enough to go out and eat alone.

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