Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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Almost made it

Coldbiker
Coldbiker

this is my second Christmas alone, last year my wife died in September so I was still pretty numb at Christmas. This year with all the medical crap I was looking forward to having a new normal nice holiday at home alone. Last night I hear sirens and whenever I do I say a small prayer for those involved, parents taught me that when I was a kid. Sirens got louder and louder then stopped and I heard the truck Diesel engines. I walked outside and saw the EMT’S running into house next door where a young family lives that had a baby last summer. Stayed out of the way, then they burst out the door with one doing CPR on the wife, and off they went.  She died this morning, the husband and baby took off to his parents. House is dark and lifeless. Spun me right down in the pits, bringing back my nightmare. Almost...almost.

Deb30
Deb30
Oh boy this is so sad. I can only imagine how that would spin you, or any of us, down-- we know what that poor man is going through right now. Hugs coldbiker.
shewearsblack17
shewearsblack17
Oh no! That is just horrible! I feel for that family. I ALMOST had a sort of normal Christmas as well, but some things are not to be. I had 3 or 4 people get mad at me over stupid things. It seemed like a conspiracy, the way I got dressed down. One person I grew up with said she is going to change her phone #, I guess so I won't contact her. Good grief, I just had surgery on the 11th. But I'm getting off the topic. Maybe after the holidays you can reach out to this young man who lost his wife. Earlier this week, at the hospital for my procedure, I saw the Life Care van that used to transport my LH around - same driver. It was a trigger. Try to do something enjoyable tomorrow.
papillon
papillon
OMG and I was just about to post this is the first Christmas Eve after my husband died and it's the absolute pits. Obviously there's always something worse which doesn't mean it makes any of us feel any better. Plus, I just spilled my wine all over my password book. The days leading up to Christmas have been tough. No surprise to anyone. Wish I had words of wisdom but the well is dry. My only solace is my faith in God. That's the only thing that works for me. P.S. there's no such thing as a normal nice holiday. Hang in there God Bless.
Coldbiker
Coldbiker
I feel so alien now, especially at holidays, watching people, feeling empty and dreaming of what was, just amazing I was talking with my neighbor on Sunday when she was out walking with her baby.
MrsMarshall
MrsMarshall
My husband died on Sept 25 2018. I know your feeling exactly I feel like an observer in life and struggle to find happiness in anything. I go to work everyday and try to act normal and everyone thinks I am coping great but the truth is quite different. I hope we can find some measure of peace eventually but right now it seems hopeless.
Dee1
Dee1
This is like surviving some sort of unholy nuclear war in my opinion. I am crying all the time and asking God why he took the one person in my life that was my stability. I went to my daughters on Christmas Eve to be with her and the grandkids-and they all want to avoid the obvious-that Grandpa is gone, my husband is gone. She is ready to just move on and put me on dating sites. I am heartbroken, devastated, and unable to figure out how to go on without the one person who was my world. I finally threw the towel in at 2pm today and went home-I just want my husband back and no way to get him back. Please somebody tell me, does this ever get easier without becoming a drug addict or an alcoholic?????
DJC
DJC
Well I hear it gets softer. My brother just loss his wife. He called me. I told him we don't need to talk I understand everything. Just say what you need. I listened. I tried not to do what irked me from others. I just wanted to talk about my husband. Still do. I just want to talk don't want any advice. Just want to talk about him with out feeling like I am bothering anyone. God bless you all and especially the family just losing the mother of a new baby. Without help the husband does not get to grieve because he has to care for the baby. I don't know your comfort level but I'd be available to help. Doing something nice for others takes your mind of yourself. May turn into a win/ win for both of you.
Mickey1965
Mickey1965
Christmas sucked the last two years, it will never be the same and each year was different, but not any better; just different. Just want the day over and done with. missing shopping for him, just miss him.
Coldbiker
Coldbiker
I know what you’re feeling, my wife had a couple of favorite stores and brands, I loved watching her look at new arrivals then go back buy it and leave it in her car at work. Just random no special day.. that part of me has no outlet now and just has wilted and died. I really thought I was doing better until holiday season. Now I understand all I have done is peeled away some layers but there are more to go. And here come the tears
JeffNY44
JeffNY44
Oh, man...I can kind of relate. I have PTSD of ambulance sirens. If I told you how many times I had to call 911 for my wife you might fall over. Also, I can relate because my wife died 4 weeks ago. In this sort time there seems to be all sorts of death going around. A good friend of a friend lost a young daughter to a car accident on Christmas day 12/26/2018.

This didn't used to happen to me but now when I hear of other people losing someone very close I break down, because it reminds me of what i'm going through and NOW I know what they are going through.