HI Donale,
So sorry for your loss. I am in the same boat. I lost my husband Feb. 13. Most days, I don't know what to do with myself. I have never known who I am without him. Married at 17, we grew up together. So, the only me I have ever known was the one who was half of him. I don't want a me without him, but have no choice in that matter. So, I guess I have to accept that fact.

Last week, I sounded exactly like you do today. I just had no energy, will, motivation, or desire for anything. I spent most of my time here on DS. It is the only place where I find comfort these days. I hope you will continue to come here, share your thoughts, and find some comfort also. Today, I am having a "better" day if there is such a thing. Everyone is telling me it does get better, so that is what I am clinging to.

Best wishes to you

Thanks for your kind words and thoughts, they help. I meet my husband when I was 17 and we had been together ever since then, its hard to learn to function "alone" not sure I really want to funtion alone,.

It has been 10 weeks 2 days since I lost Rob to Brain Cancer after a 16 month battle. He was the love of my life for 19 years. I am sorry that you going through this nightmare. Nothing to say but glad you came here, it has been a real support for me during the dark hours of this grief. You will have to be gentle with yourself, don't expect too much right now. It is not because you won't be able to do it, you will but not to well right now or for a while. Allow yourself this time to rest, take it slow, don't expect much. My heart goes out to you. Hug, Donna

Hello Donale, I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband a year and four months ago and I remember very well what the first months were like. Hang in there, although it is difficult to believe at this point, the pain does become easier to handle. Be good to yourself, cry if that is what you feel like doing ( I still cry every day) but as time goes by you'll feel stronger to face each day.
Sending you hugs and strength,
Sil

The loss is just so painful and intense. I still have moments of sorrow at the loss of my husband but life is making sense to me once again. My heart goes out to you. ((hugs)) Patricia

I am so sorry for your loss. I know how wide and deep it goes.

I lost my husband on February 10, so I'm coming up on two months soon as well. I don't always WANT to make it without him - I believe I will eventually be able to, it's the wanting that's the issue.

I'm glad that you're working. Being in the house day and night only mourning is not a healthy thing for you. At least it gets you out of the house even though you aren't functioning well. Believe me, I understand that! I am nowhere near peak performance but they're very tolerant of me here & it does help pass hour after hour. Just don't let me go alone to the ladies room & don't be around during my commute!

Glad you're here with a group who really understands.

Hugs, Gail

Welcome to the group, and I hope you get as much support here as I have. This is a wonderful bunch of people who are so supportive! I am at 3 months and 3 weeks. My emotions are so up and down; I have more good and bad moments than good and bad days. I have no family close, though I have a few great friends and good co-workers. I just take it day by day, and no, my work is not up to its usual standards either, but they put up with it; I am doing the best that I can right now, and they know it. I think the advice not to expect too much from yourself right now is good, and don't let others put their expectations on you either.

As I read Donale's post and the comments below I can't help but remember the first months after my husband's sudden death. I didn't want to leave the house, I rarely got dressed, I ate cookies and orange juice and stared blankly at the TV. Any number of the most minute rememberances would bring me to tears. I opened the cupboard to see a can of crushed pineapple and it sent me into a two day cry.
I would come to this site, I lived at this site, I would read other's I would comment, post my thoughts write in my journal slowly getting to a tolerable state. I am just past five months and time has made it better and I have chosen to work at being positive. Grief can be addicting. It is a much safer place that coping in the new unknown.
You will find comfort here, I am so sorry that the loss of your husband had to bring you here. It will get better...

I am now at 6 months and I can't even believe I made it through those first months. The pain was unbearable most of the time. Because I found this site, I came here often and felt so heard and validated and believed it when I was told things would get better. Some days were a lot harder than others to believe it. Looking back I think I was probably numb and just hanging on by a thread, but over the last couple months, I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. I am finding myself actually looking forward to things and gradually feeling like life has hope and I am more in control of my life. We all have and are living through something no one else can imagine and we have to let the waves of grief almost drown us at times to get to a point when we feel like we'll actually survive it all. You are in the worst of it now. Hang on and take care of yourself the best you can. It will get better! KT

What Gail wrote is right - getting out of the house is good. I work as a teacher and I'm on spring break. I was working 2 jobs and taking classes to get an ESL cert. to hopefully get my job back. I was overwhelmed with work. By spring break I would not only not have work but I would also be done with my classes - finally a break. I was looking forward to it for months - to catch up on the house and have time to get things done. I felt I was handling my husband's death ok - some days were very bad but most of the time I was ok - or I should say as ok as it can get.

Then spring break came - no school and no job - just what I was waiting for - and I became a basket case. - Believing the whole world didn't care about me and totally lost and alone. When I went out with a friend one day and she picked me up I heard my son became frantic when he saw the car still there and I wasn't around - thinking I'd committed suicide or something. I know how you feel - but we'll all make it. Force yourself out of the house - and instead of crying at home, take a walk thru the woods, or the park or wherever. You can still cry - but I think it helps to see the world around us.

Donale: So sorry for your loss and the pain you are enduring every day. 2 months is not a long time in this horrible path of greiving. Be kind to yourself and understand that putting one foot in front of the other at this point is an accomplishment. Your home is your security and comfort, understandable that you wnat to get home and feel safe. Hoping the warmer weather leads you outside for some fresh air.
One step at at time...it will get better I promise.
Cindy xxoo