Lielie. I get visits.so I have avoided trying mediums. They may verify what I know, but not predict, since I have free will.

My husband had a cancer that was UN-treatable, but delay-able for the finality here on this earth. So to get me through hard winter months that always took me down in my fears, he opted for time giving treatment. A series of 13 chemo treatments and radiation for pain.
Instead of a November expected departure, it was an April departure. I know what he did was for me, out of love. It was his choice though it also allowed for more expressions of love, memories and closure with others, for him to carry along his path. For what ever reason your husband delayed, you can bet love had something to do with it. A gift of time even in knowing the outcome is a rare and wonderful thing to receive.
We are on a path to passing from our first breath, but what we do in between counts, he passed in love onward because of you.
Gentle hugs and support.
J.

I struggled with the same question. Jewells1 probably gave you the answer already. Maybe out of love, maybe out of worries that ends weren't being met yet. In the end it is his decision.

I decided not to pursue a medium myself because I don't know what to think of the message being delivered. Do you accept them on face value, or do you chew on every word being said? Do you want to use it as closure, or do you want to use it as ongoing support? Even if you know of things in the future, is it going to change the way you think or live in the present until that future event manifests itself? Do you see because you believe it, or do you believe because you see it?

Before reading others replies here, I know that mediums were "cut off" (killed) under old covenant law. King Saul was condemned for consulting one the day before his death.
As for the whys, some will probably be with us for a long time. if we live long.
I thought my husband may have died in my arms 4 mos. before he actually did when I wasn't there. Could it be for our benefit they lived longer, because WE weren't ready for their departure?
I have so many unanswered things regarding my husband it's discouraging. I just hold onto the belief that he really did love me...

my husband was sent home from cardiac icu in feb to die. the doctors said there was nothing else they could do for him. they turned down his defibulater so he would no longer feel the shocks. he lived long enough to celebrate our 42nd anniversary in june. he passed july 10th. he so wanted to celebrate our anniversary, he had bought my an eternity ring for me and my daughter helped him and they kept it a secret from feb until june. if he had passed before our anniversary my daughter was to give it to me on our anniversary.
I had taken a year of fmla to take care of him, he was still with me so I quit my job. he died a month later. I often wonder why he didn't die before I had quit my job...I came to the conclusion that I wasn't ready for him to go. the night before he died I prayed that God would have mercy on him, he was in so much pain. I think I was convinced that he needed relief, even if that was death.

Lielie, I honestly don't know how I feel about mediums. I think there are many things out there that we don't understand, and perhaps there are people who can communicate with our departed loved ones. For myself, at least right now, I don't really feel like I have that many unanswered questions aside from practical ones, like what the heck happened to his extension ladder. I'm not carrying around a bunch of guilt, and for that I suppose I'm lucky. I know I made some mistakes along the way, but they were out of ignorance, and not out of any kind of malice or indifference, so I know that Dave would never blame me for them. Dave's life ended in the security of our love for one another. His death was tragic and unexpected , but many are. Few deaths come with peace and serenity. There may come a time when I may want to try something like a medium, but not now, and I certainly would not want to be left with more questions then I came in with. <3 Anita

So I went to a medium. I was desperate to just ' speak' to him. I miss him too much. It actually gave me some sort of comfort and I am glad I did. I know for sure I would never have gone to see a medium if my love was still here, but this is not business as usual. Whether it's real or not, not for me to decide. I had a chance to connect with my love and that's good enough for me. I will do it again.

Thanks guys, I value your opinions and input. I always feel I should have done better, taken him back to hospital sooner, maybe I can learn to cope myself in time, I don't know. Will think on this some more. Hugs and strength to you all

I have gone to see mediums.i went to see 3 of them,and never satisfied.i have another appt.this friday hope i will truly get some answers.like tour mother in law i have lost 3 people that was very important in my life within 2 mos. Span.guess we just want to connect

Lielie, I know exactly what you mean. My Dave was having some odd things going on with him, and when he finally went back into the emergency room and they did tests on him, they found that he had had a whole bunch of tiny little strokes and that they had been going on for quite a while. I didn't know. I had no experience with that type of thing. He didn't demonstrate the classic symptoms of a stroke that I had been taught about. After they gave me the news, it was very easy to go back and look at things that were happening to him and think , geez he had a stroke! That's why this was happening or that was happening, but at the time I had no idea. So, I understand how it's easy for you to look back and think, maybe I should've taken him to the hospital sooner, etc., but you were ignorant. It would've taken a trained medical professional to recognize what was happening to Dave, or at least someone who had experienced that type of thing before. Dave had cancer. What did I know about strokes? So, I can't blame myself for those things. Had I known, I would have whisked him quickly away to the hospital, but I didn't. I loved my husband with all my heart would never have delayed medical care for him. Everything I knew to do, I did. I feel the same is true for you. Don't blame yourself for things you didn't do because you didn't know any better. That's baggage neither of us needs nor deserves and, for myself, I will not allow myself to be saddled by guilt over things that I didn't know to do. Everything I did know to do and could do, I did. I'm human. So are you. Take care of yourself. <3 Anita

*He said his time was actually last year when he was so very sick after the emergency operation. Why?! Why?! Why did he have to go through this horrible 3 months then? Why the extra pain?*

Knowing your time is up, & fighting to hold on because you know she's not ready & you just want more time with her anyway. That happened with my father, until my mother told him it was OK!!! Not sure where I sit on the whole medium thing, but your hubby (to use a quote from my dad) "Sounds like a tough old bird"!!! Sounds to me as though he fought for every minute with you he could & loved you very much!!

Hope this helped,
Brian

Brian, he was tough, never even got the flu, this thing floored him, but he fought his hardest, and I know he loved me and the kids. He waited for me till the Sunday afternoon when I could finally go back into ICU, I saw how tired he was, I told him we will miss him every day, but it is ok. 30 seconds later he was gone. Broke my heart into a million pieces. But he tried, so I must try also