Personally I think we are all one. Not sure about the individual aspect..But i know I have loved many times..they seem to be a part of me so therefore really are me. It is like when you meet someone and you Instantly click..maybe you have parts of yourself everywhere..and our aim in life is to find ourselves.Being without love is impossible,to me. I think we are meant to love and love. Think positive thoughts and live in the moment for true happiness. Breathe A lot...look at the sun the moon the trees birds the stars etc...for verification of my thoughts (( Hugs))

Rick51, I truly believe that we are with our loved ones after death. After death there is only love, no his, or hers, or mine, so all are reunited in a circle of love no matter who or how many you loved on earth.

There is no jealousy in the afterlife. Our loves left us. For one reason or another. If they truely loved us they would not begrudge us our feelings for another after they are gone. Why does the circle need to be squared?

"All my life's a circle." the late great Harry Chapin.

But they didn't necessarily leave us willingly! If we leave as individual spirits, then are we not individual spirits on the other side?

I believe I will be with both of my husbands, and I don't see any issues around that. That's a totally weird concept for many, I know, but that's what I think. I think Cliff found my new husband for me, too, and that I have his full approval for my new life and new happiness. I don't believe that anyone that wanted you to be happy while they were alive would want you to be miserable afterwards. It's not what I would have wanted for Cliff, and yes we discussed the 'what if' scenario several times, after the death of each of our parents (they are all dead).

I have done my best to honor Cliff's memory, what he stood for, what he wanted, and part of that is making sure that he is remembered for all he brought to my life - not that his death destroyed me. How would that possibly honor his zest for life? No, I would never want him remembered for destroying me. That's not what he meant to me, that is NOT who he was, nor who we were together.

I think that, judging from some of your recent posts here, that you may be experiencing some guilt, which is normal is the grieving process. I will tell you though that guilt is the single most useless emotion you can go through in grief. It helps nothing and no one. Don't look for reasons to be guilty, don't give in to it. It will rob you of the strength you need.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

https://www.gotquestions.org/marriage-heaven.html

This page gives a pretty good Biblical Christian view of this. Jesus was asked about a women married many times on Earth, and who would be her husband in Heaven. He reveals that in Heaven there will be no marriage. This article goes on to explain how we will still know and love each other, but the marriage relationship will no longer be needed, because the needs it fulfilled will no longer be present.

This helps me to feel free to pursue relationships after the death of my wife. In God's eyes, we have fulfilled our promise to Love, Honor and Obey, and are free to start a new relationship.

You know I think your question is one so many ponder and of course we just won't know until we know. Personally, I think when we meet in heaven we will recognize each other as husband/wife or mother/daughter etc. We will remember, if you will, our lives together, our past joys and sorrows, but because we will feel only love, there will be no jealousy or confusion about our earthly relationships. And just for kicks and giggles, (I'll go there since I've heard this asked many a time in fun),... don't think there is likely sex in heaven. No need. We will be in a constant state of love & bliss. That's my hope anyway!

Thanks Martha for a wonderful reply! Also thanks Ekko.....quite informative for those who believe and need to hear those words. Comfort to some perhaps....a joke to others but nonetheless ....thanks for your caring effort.
Darcie

Thanks for all your interesting and varied replies.

Cliffskat (Martha),

Do I feel guilty for not being able to cure stage 4 Colorectal Cancer, for attending to my wife's most basic needs for over 14 and a half months. Not so much. Do I feel deep sorrow underscored by a touch of anger. Yes I do.

Rick.

Okay, also modicum of survivor's guilt.

I think at some point I drew the line on "I don't know". Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe the circle will stay as circle and the square stays as square.

All I know is, my love and I were given a timeframe in our lives and we used that timeframe to make our lives better. I don't know what more I could do for her at this point. Whatever lies ahead, the love I carry will have my love's legacy, and she will not be forgotten.

Rain - Heartfelt words. Thanks for your response.

Rick51 , felt-guilt hitches a ride with our grief. it's just part of the beast. we don't have to be guilty to feel it. my husband died instantly without warning. I have many regrets and feel guilt with all of them. Oh, what I would give to have known, for even 1 day, that he was going to die.! Everybody I've ever lost, since I was a very young child, has gone suddenly with NO warning...Regrets for things left unsaid & conversations not had.
I sometimes think "My husband just woke up dead one morning". but he didn't wake up here. I awoke to my worst nightmare.
Members who tended their spouses through terminal decline have my great sympathy. to feel any guilt after all that would seem especially cruel.
I wish I could feel comfort about seeing my husband again, and a sense of looking forward to that. Most people do. but I don't, because there is *so much more* that I look forward to about being there. I've always been a hard core realist, even with my beliefs & convictions. I have never "fit the mold", and hate platitudes. Geeze, I can barely tolerate hearing them from people who share my beliefs.
There may be no easy way to survive this. it all hurts, all ways. and I don't know, maybe always.? (Though I hope not) so even with some differences, we are linked by that here.
all my best to you.

Thanks AfterMom.