I think every one that has lost a spouse has a right to be here. If they are bitter, well, thats a warning sign that it could happen to us as well. Does jack act like a jerk most of the time? From what Ive seen yes. I dont know why, other than he appears to be in intense pain because his wife died. Same as me. Im not full of rainbows and butterflies myself...not any more...but i hope i dont let a "root of bitterness" take hold...take any further hold...in my heart. I dont want to lose whatever empathy I have left. Sometimes that is what keeps me going.
I happen to believe that everyone here. smilinjack included, wants this pain to ease up enough to function again.

In this particular case however, Im a little offended someone voluntarily in an unhappy relationship could think to compare it to the hell of having the person you do love actually die. It is the wrong group and THIS time jack isnt out of line...just crass.

I mean, you ladies all assume right away that this topic writer is living with satan. I didnt get that at all. She said he wants to get married but she doesnt love him...how does that even remotely compare to our spouses dying?
Jack should learn some tact though.

um....I just read some of jacks other posts....geez fella, thats some seriously obtuse stuff.

obtuse...lacking in sensitivity.

I've been reading the posts for several months now -- and do so appreciate knowing I'm not alone in my grief process. My husband died 19 months ago and I (after many months of 'working at it') have come out on the other side somewhere.. I know he's not coming back; I will always miss him.. All the decisions and trials I've had to deal with since his death, have made me survive.. Of course, I want to do more than just survive the rest of my life.

I'm sure I'm going to catch a little 'flack' about smilinjack - but I think he has an 'off beat' sense of humor and just likes to 'bug' some of you.. Actually I've found some of his responses kind of funny -- 'the line forms to the right' -- and some are crass and didn't require much thinking on his part.. My wierd sense of humor has been a saving grace for me - I cry one minute and am laughing and joking the next.. Forgive me if this offends any of you, but I just can't be a 'weeping widow' anymore. The loneliness caused by family and friends staying away, has taken its toll on me.

I digress -- and smilinjack -- you behave yourself! My Best Always, Nancee

Me again... I'm chuckling at the caption under the 'comment' area -- "I Nancee, do promise to be nice." And, I truly do!

J.R. worked for an airline as a mechanic for many years, and we lived apart for several years because of the moving around they expected all the employees to do. The following is a poem I wrote:

MINT TEA TEARS ~

Airports and freeways
have become a part of life.
Heavy in heart yet
parting with dignity and grace --
Half here, half there, fragmented;
wind blowing through me.
Wonderful memories play
with wounds yet unhealed;
And I sip mint tea
laced with tears --
while I remember . . . . . . . .

I could have included another part of the definition regarding intellect but I was being nice.

lol..