to everyone here: i'm imagining a big lodge where we all could meet up for a long weekend or whenever we wanted to appear for some shared companionship - I imagine it like mountain/ wilderness camp when I was a child (but not as forced and uncomfortable as when I was a child, please!)

so in my imagination it would have all the rustic amenities of the wilderness camp - we would have to tough it out here for a few nights - sleep in cozy sleeping bags in bunk beds - walk by the lakeside - freeze in the morning to remember and honor our unending pain! - chat in person- pat each other on the back -

we would make a group feast around a huge firepit at sunset each night - make a favorite dish in honor of our loved ones for everyone to enjoy (I would make juicy, charred turkey burgers, roasted potatoes and pop open a bottle of red wine for a bubbly wine spritzer). Recount stories about our loves and hopes for our sorrows. Probably see if a s'more tasted as good still.

one rainy day we would have a craft afternoon and find we could all sculpt perfectly well out of clay a likeness of our love and what they represented to us.

we would grow and nurture an edible harvest in honor of our loved ones, and make a feast day on the last day (quick growing plants here unless we stay for a season instead - imagination is flexible of reality is not) and that day would become our annual day of honor in their memory and of our healing.

there would be a little chapel too, surrounded by the beautiful chapel that is the wooded solace of nature, in which we could seek peace and prayer in our time together.

Since I cannot thank you enough or in person for the strength and wisdom you supply me - especially over the weekends which carry such a weight of loneliness - I invite you to my camp of imagination; please join me here. nanne

(okay I must be hungry - tell me what you will make for the feast?!)