I think people who say these things are trying to communicate to us, but it just sounds so offensive when it comes out. I am so offended at times when people tell me I am going to marry again. It makes me mad, yet I know what they are trying to tell me. Who knows what we are to do? IT is totally up to those persons who feel like they need companionship. I don't however..I don't think I will ever be ready for that again. Hugs~Shelley

I'm at 2 years out now and I feel like I could handle another relationship. Even though I am comfortable being alone and doing things by myself, life sure would be a lot more fun having someone to share it with again. I have had friends ask if I'm dating anyone yet and I politely tell them no...not yet. But I am open to meeting new people and letting life take its course. May we all find peace and happiness again in our lives.

Loran

The answer is YES! The first one was less than a month after her funeral, how inappropriate is that? I'll not be able to complete this in ten words or less, sorry. I don't know if I will but I'm open minded about it. I never say never, I don't know how I'll feel tomorrow, how can I know what I'll feel like in 2 years, or 3, etc. I miss the sharing, the repartee, the company. That is not meant to be an exhaustive list. Abby would want me to be happy. That's how she was, if I met someone, kind and smart, I'd be a goner. I have found that my screening criteria have changed considerably though. My situation is different therefore my requirements have changed.
Ken

Not a widower, but it has been only 4 months since my love passed away. At a meeting the other day, I was saying I need to find some groups to join and one of the women ( husband still living) says "You need to find one with men in it" I looked at her and said my DH just passed and I am not looking for a replacement already. I am 71 and had not even thought there was a chance of finding someone else. I don't know why everyone thinks a mate is a problem solver, Phyl

Ya know Ken, I like your ''crazy'' stance. I don't know why - maybe it's a woman thing, but I try so hard to ''get along'' to twist and turn for everyone - to prove that I'm strong ,when most of the time I'm not. I don't want to live up to anyone's expectations - mine went out the window, so who cares. Crazy is good - look at how everyone is making a fuss over that Ted Williams guy - give me a break. Someone please pay for me to go to ''grief camp'' to get rehabilitated - in Greece please or Spain - ok???. Sorry, I'm......CRAZY these days - so there!!!! ha ha ha

My dad raised us as a single parent. He was always being told that he needed to find another wife. He thought that this is an equal opportunity country and that he was responsible enough to raise kids, cook meals and work. He said the thought of remarrying never crossed his mind. Once was enough.

Maggie

ken - sorry I responded to the wrong topic!!!! Vicki

I am 69 years mature, set in my ways and rather independent. While I am not a beauty, I do take care of myself. I like comfortable clothing and have not worn high heels in years. Can not wear makeup, nor do I want to die my hair. With me it is what you see is what you get.

I would like a companion, not really interested in a sexual relationship. Maybe that would change with the right person.

I have had two marriage proposals. Both required keeping house, taking care of livestock, and being a bed partner and and and paying half the rent. I think it is a little sick that both of these proposals came from men younger than I am.

Both of them felt I should "change my ways" and march to their drummers. Sorry that aint going to happen.

Given my financial situation I would have to sell my house and use my saving to do this.

What is wrong with being a partner and not a slave.

Hugs, Holly

just today i had a young kid that works with me (he is 18 years old )told me i should get out there and find a new woman.so i asked him after 24 years with her and only 9 months with her gone when is the right time to start over again.and at this point in my life i was not ready.scott

I get comments mostly from my family. Mike wasn't gone a year, when my sister kept asking me, did you meet anyone yet, what are you doing about going out and finding someone. I had to tell her to stop. I guess she thought something was wrong with me for not immediately replacing Mike. Frankly, he's a hard act to follow. I'm not sure what her motivation was, but it ticked me off. It's been 4 years, and what I really want is someone to hang out with, go to the cottage. I'm not really looking for romance, just a partner. Hopefully this will come my way. And as someone else mentioned, your friends may find you a threat. Take care, K

My children have said that they would feel better if I found someone, translation they don't want to feel responsible for watching over me. I didn't realize that at 59 I needed watching. Yes I miss the company and at times I do get lonley, but after being with the same man for 36 years, I don't know if I could find another special someone. Face it with all the time I spend working on the house the only men I see are at the Home Depot and Lowes. If I do ever meet someone, he better know how to swing a hammer. Jane

Good one, Jane!!!

None of my family or friends have said this to me.Actually, quite the opposite. They have said how hard it would be to ever find anyone again after being married to a man like David. I think they would find it really hard to adjust to anyone else too! To know him was to love him. Acquaintances have made comments along this line. Basically, the usual, `Don`t worry, I`m sure you`ll meet someone again`` I used to explain it wasn`t something I was interested in but now I just flash a second long weak grin and change the topic.

This winter I have been so lonely. My husband died in 2008, and of course I miss him but I am sure he would of wanted me to by happy. I met a nice gentleman, he lost his wife same time as I lost my husband. I always said, I will leave it up to God and if someone comes into my life that I like and we have so much in common well I would maybe date again. Well today my guy Brian came and we went out for lunch, had a little drive, and we hit it off right away. We grew up in the same town, both of us moved out of that community but I still have family there. They knew him. We had so much to talk about, when we were kids and it brought back some very nice feelings. He wants us to go out this weekend. I take things slowly one day at a time, if it is not to be I will go on in life and try to find just a little bit of happiness.