I'm pretty sure I understand how you are feeling about his tools.
My husband spent much of his time at the workbench making things.
His tools were one of the first things a couple local guys asked about, to good friends who were helping me with other issues.
It was too soon for me to even "go there" yet, when it was mentioned to me.
All I can say is, it's a good thing you have friends who at least know what the items are, and what they're for.
I look at his work areas and am mostly lost, as to tools and their value, etc.
Unfortunately, our friends who were asked if I was interested in selling his tools & equipment, didn't take names or numbers from the men who asked. So I have no idea where to start.
I have not had the stomach to sort through his work areas. but it would sure be nice to have some real help when I do.
I would get some consolation knowing things were going to someone who will appreciate using them, like he did.
I'm sorry you're having to part with his things,.. but glad you had
some help.
*HUGS*
It is hard to believe the experiences we share, on this road.

Oh God, yes, dealing with the stuff left over from a spouse's departure is so hard.

I kept most of my wife's stuff. I donated some of it that I didn't have space to to Out of the Closet, the local LGBT thrift store, so it could be up cycled into the queer community. it's like to think her butch-wear made some other lesbian happy.

Because my wife and I were both women I have been able to and do wear some of her clothes and jewelry. One of her rings I wear every day. It helps me feel close to her although I no longer feel comfortable wearing the wedding ring

It is so agonizing dealing with the stuff after a death. I feel for you. After her death there was a feeling of getting very nice presents I didn't necessarily want because I wanted her to be here to share them with me.

I understand it must be even harder when you're married to a man and they have man-stuff. i wouldn't have the slightest clue what to do with that. Good for you for handling it.

That had to be such a hard day for you. I went through my husband's cell phone today as I am finally canceling it on Monday. Looking at all the calls he had made to me and then nothing almost did me in. I will transfer any pictures just in case, but just this little task is hearbreaking. I haven't begun to even think about getting rid of anything else of his. The day will come though, I am just not ready. Hugs and love, Michele

I too have tried to share with others what I'm feeling about certain things, and they just don't get it, even though they think they do. I'm glad you posted here and are able to express your feelings. We understand what you're going through. It's really hard letting go of our spouses things. It's a very slow process of letting go of the life we had, and these items all represent that. I've sold some of my husband's stuff, but still have much of it. I'm still maintaining his truck and drive it occasionally to keep it running. It's been 17 months.
Keeping you in my thoughts.
:) Lori

I totally understand your feelings. I have had to sell my husbands tools also. Because my husband was the bread winner I have had to sell much of our possessions including are house. In the 5 months since his death I have sold over 2/3rds or our things, his tools included.

Bob was a tool and die maker by trade and had boxes of tools. The day after his death my son was in the basement sorting everything out. I let him take care of it. My son is a cabinet maker and all though they used different tools, they both worked in a shop atmosphere and love to talk shop. So for my son, doing this was therapeutic, he found so many things in those boxes that brought him closer to his dad. He kept some, put aside some for me and some for my older son. The rest we sold. It was hard, very hard but as you said something that had to be done.

I felt though the whole process of thinning our belongings that I was erasing Bob. Now that the house is sold and I am in my apartment the feeling that I was erasing him has subsided and I can get on with the sad business of morning him.

Cheri~

You are not alone, I finally have come to the decision that, Id rather know that someone is using my husbands tools, he was heavy mach operator, then them sitting here, and me looking at them all the tiime. Now Sean is all over the place.. his tools will be used for good things and I know sean wouldve wanted me and the girls taken care of. Its painful, and a catch 22.. darned if you do and darned if you don;t. Im realizing now I cant use these tools way bigger and heavier than I am, and he doesn't need them in heaven, lol. gentle hugs, and I can understand that its got to be so painful to let go. big hugs carla

hi friends! I see you all feel so much like I do. I promised myself I would get started today in the garage (shop) and dusting cleaning and it's very dusty to say the least.
I am starting to NOT feel like doing it but I have to force myself. I had a young friend of ours that helped one day there putting hand tools in his tool cabinet.
I am keep that and those tools. But his big stuff like welder, sander etc are getting sold. My husband even taught himself how to shoe horses.
So I am offering my new shoer his tools EXCEPT for the Anvil. I want the Anvil in case I need to hammer chain or something of steel .
My husband was a steel man. All steel building (he built them and welded them, NO BOLTS). He built for others too. He spent 20 years in the military. "Retired" at 39 years old and went to work for himself ever since. Very talented. I miss him. Now I just fixed fence the other day, but the thing it's welded pipe. I can't weld. So I had to use fence wire to hold up some sucker rod that one of the horse broke at the welded spot. THat was fun. HOlding it up while I tried pulling the wire as tight as possible to hold the rod up and even. Very heavy stuff. But I did it and it works, is safe for the horses and looks decent. I just thought, what would Don do OTHER than re-weld. I have his Cracker Box welder and have seen him use it so many times but it's the dials that I am not familiar with and how hot to melt the welding rod. So I stay away from it. I keep it in case I need to hire and that person can use our equipment and I can pay by the hour or job.
So I will see how the day goes and if I get to that work. It's just so overwhelming.
As for you Andrea L. well no matter what the possessions its tough no doubt about it. Good thing I learned a lot from my husband about these tools just by watching. He built so many thing and built our barn 75 x 100 feet (7,500sq ft). ANd to think the galvanized tin roofing (26 gauge) each sheet was over 50 feet long!! CAn you imagine one 5 foot wide sheet of metal 50 feet in length??
You should have seen how he had that installed. Had to use his logical mind of his to do it. And never on a windy day or it could fly off and kill someone, just cut you right in half!
Anyway, I am off course here. I just like talking about my hubby.
(Sigh).....I sure miss him. One year and gone by and my grief is still hanging on. Maybe some spouses are glad to be rid of their other half, LOL, but us here, NO WAY. WE all experienced lots of pain while our loves experienced pain and suffering in lots of cases.
It's so very uplifting to hear the devotion that I hear from you all and others on this site. You all sound like great people.
Everyone have a good Sunday. Hope the sun is shining and you have a cool breeze.
Take care everyone. Maybe today we can all SMILE. I hope so.
Letty

Have tears reading all the messages this morning. How much love and grief we are all living with now. I was up very late trying to fix a kitchen faucet. I did "something" and next thing had to get the tools out. All done and fixed. Have a great Sunday.

I began going through Don's things very slowly. I loved to touch his things knowing that his hands touched them too. One evening our children stopped by as I was going through his chest of drawers. My son took some of his clothes and we asked Don's brother if he wanted to take some. We had downsized two years before he got sick so most of the big stuff was already taken care of. I think the whole experience was very hard but provided us with a sense of happiness that we were sharing him with others who knew him.

Don loved fishing, so these things were shared with his fishing buddies. Thinking about you with love. Sharon