Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
It will be 10 months on November 4th since my husband of 41+ years died. We have lived in this house since 1973 and raised our family here. My husband built most of this place with his own two hands. Obviously, I feel a very strong emotional attachment to this very special place where we shared our lives together. And that I do feel a sense of comfort being here surrounded by our memories. However, I am totally alone here. One son and his family lives 35 minutes north and the other son & family lives 30 minutes south. My sisters are also 30 minutes south. I am dreading the thought of winter alone here. A home has become available on my son's street that we looked at yesterday. It is 3 doors up from them on the opposite side of the street. It is not perfect, but certainly a lovely home. I walked away feeling it was too soon to make a huge decision like this, but I can't stop thinking about this house! It would be such a comfort to be living so near to my family and to be able to see them frequently. I am trying to look at what I would be moving toward...and not what I would be leaving behind, but I am torn. Everyone I talk to about this says grab it! I feel they are right...how often is a house like this going to be availabe on their street? Not likely any time soon. Is this something you just take a leap of faith with? I feel if I don't push myself to move forward, i will be isolated here for the rest of my days. Any thoughts and comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you all for being here!
marysch
I notice everyone's comments concerns ones children or maybe a brother or sister. I have to think in a different vein, as I have no children. I'm in the home, which I love, that my husband and I built when we retired as our dream home. But I'm lonely, but I've come to realize that I'll be lonely no matter where I live or who I live near or with. Lonely is just my life now from here on out. I will not remarry or even be with another love. I just know he was "it". My choice I'm facing is whether to have my dearest friend, who is divorced, my age and very compatible move here to share my home or I move to where she is, which is a much warmer climate and share a home there. The main reason I consider leaving here is the cold dreary winters, which I hate. I go back and forth. I'm older (67)) and she's 69 and health will become an issue down the road and neither of us wants to face that alone. She has a son, but they aren't close. I have only one close friend here and she is 75. My brother and SIL are an hour from me,but they have their own life and he is also 75. She and I are friendly, but not that close. We are very different. I think ultimately you must move where you feel is "right" but you have to look at things like, activities, good hospitals, social activities, things to do, crime statistics, weather...many things...ask your self if your family or friends disappeared would you still be, I won't say happy, but satisfied to some degree living there...the city, the area in the city etc....many things to think about...don't rush.
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