Hi Vicki,,,,This is a safe comforting place that you have come to..Nobody but us who lost our other half can understand how torn we are. People will stay stupid things to you that you will just stare at them and not know what to say back.. My friend wants to fix me up with a widower of four years and I said but I am only at my year soon and he hasn't started dated yet,,,she replied because he was so upset at his wifes loss he could not date for four years,,,But I can?????..ugggBe kind to yourself, My husband Bill also died very suddenly and sometimes I still fell the shock wave. Visit often.

Hi Vicki,

Welcome to the group. I'm the 7th or 8th in your thread who lost their spouse suddenly. Mine was 7 weeks ago, cardiac event that was undiagnosed.

The shock we feel is enormous. Some compare it to PTSD. So all of us are here to hold your hand and walk with you. We all have a common thought (those whose spouse died without warning) in that we are grateful they did not suffer. That thought certainly comforts me, as I am humbled when reading the stories of those caring for an ailing spouse.

We will always listen, and we will always care. Take care of yourself, as we all are trying to care for ourselves. I know I am better than I was the first week, and I hope I'm slowly but surely healing a tiny bit each week that goes by.

Sending hugs...

MysticDay

My husband Cliff and I discussed all of our future plans the night before, including our plans for the next day - some alone time for the two of us as it was a holiday. He woke me gasping, a heart attack - his first, last, and only. All the dreams of the years ahead of us and all the memories of the 30 years we were lucky enough to have together - all ended in those terrifying moments. No warning, just gone.

That was 8 years ago. I joined DS a couple weeks after he died, desperately searching for people who would know what it was like as I was the only widow in my family and social circle. I was only 50, Cliff only 55, when it happened. Being here made such a huge difference in my surviving it and was instrumental in my rebuilding my life.

I am now one of the Community Leaders appointed by DS for our group - you can spot us by the "CL" on our pictures. If you need help or have questions about the site, you can always message one of the CLs - myself, Shrn, or marjoe.

I am soory for your loss and that you need a group like ours, but glad you found us, too. Welcome.

Love and Hugs,
Martha, co-CL

I am so very sorry for your loss. I do want to say my husband suffered five months with AML leukemia and finally fell hit head and bled to death so I often think I would rather him die in his sleep so maybe it was a blessing to you in some way. I know we are never ready for death no matter how it comes about but take comfort he didn't suffer.
GOD bless you and comfort you.

I lost my husband recently. Although we were told we had 2-3 years, he passed away after only 5 months. I thought I had prepared myself, but no, I don't think anyone does. I am trying to take it day by day...trying not to make any hasty decisions...one minute I think I have it under control....then I lose it and all I want is to be back with him. I know I need time to heal and find myself.

I know exactly what you mean, Sue. One second I think I'm okay and then in a heartbeat, I cry. Hopefully I will feel better in time, but for now, days can certainly be a struggle. I never knew that I could feel this sad.... Hugs, Vicki