To well not to week sorry

It is normal to have both pleasant and unpleasant dreams that feature our spouses. The subconscious is a wild and bizarre place that seems to speak in riddles, yet also communicates much of our fears and anxieties that we may not have resolved in our conscious, waking life. I had one such unpleasant dream where my wife turned to me with a scary face reminiscent of a monster. It did not mean that I in any way found her monstrous (far from it), but most likely that I am still contending with so many conflicting and complex emotions. It was so unsettling, however, that I had to turn on the light!

In your case, it seems as though your subconscious is dealing with a possible feeling of abandonment. Although your rational, conscious self knows otherwise, the subconscious part of you is processing this to read that death is a kind of abandonment. We know that our spouses did not choose to leave us, but the effect of leaving and loss is very similar.

I have had one dream of my Ben. It was five days after he passed.
A very healing dream.
He was walking down stairs, first he hugged our grandchildren, then he wrapped his arms around me. I woke up in the midst of that embrace, I really felt the warmth and comfort of his arms around me.
For 6 months before he passed, he was in so much pain every touch for him was unbearable. Whatever that dream meant, I believe it was a gift for me from him.
Love, peace and joy,
Sandra

I had nightmare after nightmare in the early weeks. I dreamt Cliff was leaving me, leaving me for another woman, that he never loved me, that he was laughing at my pain, etc. It got so bad that I didn't want to sleep. I would wake up sobbing. It was such a relief when I finally had a good dream of him!

Your mind is trying to comprehend the incomprehensible, and as Xerxes said, it is trying to process it while you are sleeping. I want you to know that the nightmares do pass. I have since those early days had every imaginable kind of dream of my husband. Everything from visiting him in the "house of the dead" (those were strange but comforting), silly dreams, erotic dreams, and everyday mundane dreams where he was just there.

It will get easier. Hang in there. You're not crazy.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

at 21 months... I still have nightmares....some says they are visiting you?

Its been almost 19 months for me. I have had only one nice dream but at least a dozen not so good dreams. The one I have the most is that I walk into a room and I see my husband seated with his back to me and as I walk up to him he falls over dead. That one wakes me up and leaves me crying. Luckily its been a couple of months since I have had any dreams about him.

I can only remember 1 dream where my husband was saying hurtful things and I woke up crying and asking him why he was being so mean to me. He was not like that at all so have no idea where that came from but it did bother me and make me sad for awhile.

I don't think this is an uncommon type of dream...yeah, and I'm sure that made you feel better, right? Mine have run the gamut from sweet visitation-type dreams to nightmares. I remember one where I screamed at him "I want a divorce!" (never happened IRL, by the way). I do believe it's our subconscious, but don't feel like your dreams are telling you you're not dealing. The very fact that you're dreaming is your brain dealing. If they're really intense, I try to write it all down the next morning - it helps. Hugs, Marsha

I have only has one short glimpse of him and he was falling and crying then I woke up. Very upsetting and nothing since. How I wish I could have a good dream of him. Wish I knew for sure what that meant.