Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Birthday

myloveforever
myloveforever
I swore to myself I wouldn't do this, but here I am.Today is my 67th birthday and it's the first time in 44 yrs I've been without my girl. Many years ago my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said I wanted all our friends at our home, a keg of beer, and sabrett hotdogs. She pulled that off, and the next year for my birthday she bought me a kegerator and a sabrett hotdog stand. After that we always had fifteen to twenty couples at our home for my birthday. what a party.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I was blessed to have this
beautiful woman, who loved me, and I miss her terribly.
When I talk to to my family I try to be upbeat, and this is where I get to tell my true feelings. I hate where I am, I thought 21/2 months in I'd feel better, but I don't. The reason for every breath I took is gone, and I don't know what to do.
Joe
ruth999
ruth999
My heart breaks for you. My birthday was a particularly hard day for me, as well. Don't expect too much of yourself. At 2-1/2 months you are just beginning to grieve. I'm a couple of months ahead of you and I can tell you it gets worse before it gets better. I wish I could be more encouraging, but I can say that you will find the strength to get through each day which will turn into weeks which will turn into months. God bless you Joe.
Ruth
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
Joe,
Totally get it. My birthday was a few weeks ago and just hard not to celebrate with my husband. I received gifts my daughter who lives out of state and celebrated with two girlfriends. There is always a big empty hole. Just try and take it day by day.
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
Dear Joe, Happy birthday. Remember one thing your birthday was so important for your wife. I know because eventhough sean passed away in march. I still had a heavenly biirthday party for him, because if not for him, I wouldnt have had my one true love. Your wife would be thinking of the same thing, if it had been you, who had passed, Plus guess what, if it wasnt for you, we wouldnt have that wonderful friendship, that you bring to this group. So have a peaceful, as much as can, and just do whatever you want, even if it means feeling sad, at my first birthday without sean, it was devastating, but he would want me to enjoy this life, that we have left. I know I'm not much help, I just feel helpless, that I can't make this day better for you. Much love and birthday hugs, carla
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
Special memories of special days past brings a pain so deep it's overwhelming. They are terrible and I'm sorry you are dealing with this. Know that we are here for you. Sharon
baileyolson
baileyolson
Joe, I'm so sorry you had to spend this day without your beloved. This week i spent my first birthday without my Big Swede. I spent the day in solitude but had to teach a cinnamon roll class in the evening. The class was fun but coming back to our empty home was hard. I would wish you a Happy Birthday but know it just isn't. So I will wish you a peaceful evening instead. Birthday hugs ~ Bailey ~
rebl3157
rebl3157
Happy birthday! Hang in there, it does get easier. Next year do something different to celebrate.
Lois11
Lois11
Happy Birthday Joe as happy as it can be. Your still fresh hurt from your wife's passing.
Maybe next year on this date you will feel like firing everything up have friends over to celebrate and honour what your wife loved to do. Honor You.turn her love from an unhappy memory to a memory of happiness and love.
Hugs
carrie415
carrie415
Happy Birthday Joe, i am getting close to my first year and I had to endure both our birthdays, 25th anniversary, etc, etc, etc. Somehow we get thru them and stronger ( don't know how, but we do),,,Just hang in there,,,We are all in this together and have felt every emotion and feeling that you are going thruOh and the Sabrett hot dogs, (I am an original Bronx girl :) You may need extra hugs todayWe are all there for you,,,
loveddogs
loveddogs
Happy Birthday Joe, all of these special dates can be so very hard. You are so early in your grief I imagine you feel so very lost. Many of us have been where you are at this time in your journey. It is not easy, it seems never ending. And I am sure you are sick of hearing it takes time. But it does. The wonderful people on this sight were a life saver for me. There was always some one to share a hug, compasion and give me hope that things would get better. At nearly ten months I know I have a long way to go, but I have also come a long way too. Hang in there with all of us. Hugs and Love, Michele
tim57
tim57
My birthday is coming up in June but hers is in May. My wife use to be big on celebrating our birthdays. She would hang balloons and streamers all over the house. She got me in the habit also. Not sure about now. I have put holidays on hold this first year. I have to do this to get thru.
Peace, Tim
scottito
scottito
Joe, What you do is just what you're doing. One minute, one hour, one day, one week, one month at a time. We all know how awful it is but there is no way around it -- we all have to just go through it. Writing about it has helped me beyond measure - I can't hold it in. For me, I have to give it voice. So hang in there my friend. You will be okay. It's just going to take a whole lot of time. Your friend, Scottie
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