Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

lost

myloveforever
myloveforever
I don't know how this works, so I'll just tell my story. We had my wife's sister down for the weekend on Thanksgiving. My wife got up Friday morning and said she didn't feel like she could entertain company, and asked me to drive her sister home. When I returned home I found the dog locked in the bedroom, and my wife gone. I called 911 and asked if they had sent an ambulance to my address. They said they had, and that the woman said she was having terrible chest pain and could not wait for her husband to come home. She had a major heart attack by the time I made it to the hospital. She was put into an induced coma for eight days. When they brought her out of the coma, the first thing she said was "did you take your pills" I thought things were looking up. But at 2:30 everything went haywire and she was gone by 3:00. We were married for 43 yrs. no kids. and together 24/7 for 15 yrs since I retired. I am finding it so hard to find a reason to go on. The silence is deafening. I find myself going to bed at 9:30 10 o'clock because I can't stand it. I really miss my girl
morita
morita
I am so sorry for the sudden loss of your wife. I feel your pain. It's awful and confusing and intense. The one thing everyone assures me on this site is that the pain will always be there, but it will lessen. Also, I've been told that you have to sort of lean into your grief and let it come and not try to stuff it down. The CL leaders on this site offer other good advice and support. I've found it helpful to sometimes read older posts. You are not alone.
Rainycreek
Rainycreek
This is exactly how it works. You talk, we listen, love and support as best we can.
I am so terribly sorry for your loss. What a shock! I know that lost feeling so well. I keep waiting for someone to show up with a flashlight and a map myself.
There is no pain like losing your partner and being thrown into a life you didn't ask for and despise.
Sleep is so important, I hope you are able to get some quality rest and have comforting dreams. I wish so much that none of us had any reason to be here, but I do take comfort in being on this path with people who understand the pain and despair so well, and I hope you will find some comfort here as well.

I hope you will see signs that tell you she is still with you, in spirit, watching over you and loving you always. I feel my husband is with me, just not in the way I would prefer. That's so nice that you were together for such a long time and got to enjoy your retirement together.
In time, I hope all those memories will bring you comfort.
Take good care.
Sue
scottito
scottito
Dear Forever, I know your pain, and yet I don't, because it is your pain. I have my own pain. And all that you describe, I know and I feel with you. So is everyone here. We all hurt so badly from broken hearts that at times we think we are going to die, or wish we could. It is called grief. And there ain't nothing like it when we lose the love of our life. Time is your friend to healing, and time is your worst enemy when it comes to the inner pain. The way it works is, when you're ready, write what you feel, write what you think, write freely but always in love to not hurt other hurting people more than they already are. And let yourself learn from your writings, and from reading what others have to share. We follow each other, and there is always someone that is farther along this grief journey than ourselves. Receive the love from these wonderful people. Love heals. ~~~ Scott
ruth999
ruth999
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife. Nothing prepares us for this intense pain. It is so helpful to be able to come here to share with and listen to others who know how you feel. Others try to understand but they really don't.

Ruth
cgriff4ever
cgriff4ever
I'm sorry your bestfriend, is not here wth you anymore. I pray for our comfort, and your encouragement to push foward, a little at a time. The pain is immeasurable, I know, all too well. We are here if you need friennds. much love and big hugs carla
carrie415
carrie415
I hate when I have to say welcome to this site because we all know what that means, but welcome with our heavy hearts and tender care for what you are experiencing now. I am nine months today and I can't tell you how DS has helped me enormously. Just keep touching base with us and let us know your progress. We are all riding the wave together,,,regards(original BX girl)
Rainbow27
Rainbow27
So sorry for your loss. There is no pain as great as losing the love of your life, the special person who was there for you always. We are all here for you through thick and thin and this forum has the most kind, supportive and compassionate people ever. Many gentle hugs,
loveddogs
loveddogs
I am so very sorry for your loss! And would like to welcome you here among friends. No one wants to be here, but here we are. I lost my husband 8 1/2 months ago and this site has been my lifeline. You will find comfort among us as we share this agonizing journey. Please take care of yourself, this is a tough ride with tons of ups and downs. There are wonderful people here to guide you through. Hugs and Love, Michele
Community Leadercliffskat
cliffskat
I am so sorry for your loss and that you needed to find us, but I am glad you did find us. I hope it helps you to be here.

I am one of the Community Leaders - or "CL" for our group, along with my friends marjoe and Shrn (Marsha and Sharon). If you have any questions about how to use the site or run into any problems, you can always message one of us.

Again, I am sorry for your loss, but wanted to welcome you.

Love and Hugs,
Martha
maryelnew
maryelnew
I am so sorry for your loss. It has been 10 months for me and some days it is starting to get a little bit better. My husband and I also had no children and spent most of our time together, we enjoyed each others company very much. Please make a point to come here often - any time day or night. l This site is what got through me through those first awful months and now it is what helps me move forward. This is the one place that I know people understand ,not because they are trying their best to be empathetic, but because they have walked in my shoes.
sassiesoftail
sassiesoftail
So sorry for your loss. Welcome to the club nobody wants to join.
This will be the most intense pain you will ever endure.
Take care of yourself, remember to eat and drink lots of water. Try to sleep.
The loneliness is debilitating I wish I had an answer for that, but I don't.
This site has been my lifeline. It makes me realize that everything I am going through is normal. It also give me a place where I can bare my soul without being judged.
Hugs, Sandi
at17
at17
I am very sorry for what you are going through. After one year here, myself, I assure you that you have joined the right group. You are in shock so please just hang in there and know that we understand. I sometimes go to bed, at like 7 PM--you probably need the rest, anyway. Meltdowns are common, too, so vent away when you need to.
AfterMom
AfterMom
I hope it's a tiny comfort for you to know that none of us really know how this works. We all feel lost when our feet hit this road.
We can't take your pain away, but we already share it. you will find that there are others who understand your pain here.
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