Hi, and sorry for your need to be part of this hurting group, but glad you found it. I lost my husband in (end of) January also. He was from hospital to hospital since last September( diabetes related). Hope being among others who feel the unique grief of losing their partners helps you.

I've looked at some other posts and it's warming to see the caring. I also find that most people don't understand why we are going through. It feels good to communicate with people in the same situation.

Hi,I'm sorry for the lost of your wife and soulmate...I'm new to the group as well,I've found this website to be a Blessing to me because the ppl here can relate to my pain...the best part of this website is available 24 hours. I find nights to be the hardest for me...it's usually the time when we discuss the matters of the day and share conversations about 21 and 22 year old daughters who attend the university in our state...My husband was 54 years old...we had plans to grow old together.That part of my life is over which breaks my heart in two but,then I think about the fact that my husband would want the best for the kids and I...which is what he lived to do daily.With all that being said I can't stay in the widows fog long...because I feel it would grieve his spirit.Also,if I'm stuck in the widow's fog our kids would feel like they've lost both parents.I have to pretend to be strong and have it going when it's really the opposite but it help the girls to deal with life and school without their father being here.I'm praying for you and your children

This is a very tough new reality for all of us. I force myself to go to places alone. The more I do it , the easier it gets. I figure I have to get used to doing things by myself, so what better than going to a restaurant, movie, etc alone. I learn to adjust that way. It's not an easy thing to do.

I think that 'Where do we go from here?' is the question most of us here are asking. For myself, I'm just 8 weeks into this journey and still trying to adjust and accept my new reality because fate dropped a bomb on my old life and blew it to smithereens. I’m still a long way from having any answers, but I have gotten a lot of support and good advice here. There are some on here who seem to have found the answer and are kind enough to stay and graciously share their experience and wisdom with those of us who are struggling. Mainly, for me, it’s just great to communicate with people who understand what I’m going through. Before I found this group, I really thought there was something wrong with me, that what I was feeling was abnormal and crazy and I found out that, unfortunately, there are a lot of people who are feeling the same things. It’s not a particularly happy place most of the time, but I believe I gain something of value most every time I come here and that also helps me to get a little stronger and be able to cope a little better. That says a lot about the membership.

MJP3071, I am sorry that you have experienced the same loss that we have but am glad that you have found this site. Come here often; you are among those who understand your grief. Roxanne

Thanks so much. It really feels good to talk to people that are going through the same thing. Most outsiders don't understand the true pain of losing a spouse.

I am very sorry for your loss. I myself, am almost 8 weeks into losing my beautiful wife. I am a few months behind you, and I am trying to imagine myself taking a vacation a few months from now. If I even think about it for a second about taking a vacation without my wife, I'll just start balling like a baby. I just turned into a weak, fragile cry baby. I don't even know myself anymore. I'm so glad that you are here. For me, it's been my only salvation. The only thing I can guarantee you is, the group of people on this site are probably going to be the only ones in your life that truly understand how you feel and what you're going through. There's not a shrink in the world that can do a better job to get you through life than talking with good people that has been there. I feel your pain. Dave

I too am 7 months into a life without my beloved Andy. I struggle with all kinds of emotions. I only joined this site yesterday. I usually put on a facade but that broke earlier this week and I just crumpled. My GP said I sould take more time off work to grieve. Sadly the reality is the bills won't pay themselves. Just by reading some of the posts I am feeling comforted. It isn't just me who feels the way I do. Wishing you strength to enjoy the life you have. I expected to have a lot longer with my husband he was 57 and in good health. On goods day I can push myself on bad days I hide. My decision making skills are appalling. What me hearts desire is one day becomes a nightmare the next. So apart from somebig decisions which had to be made I shall keep chopping and changing my mind.

I lost MIKE 3-1/2 years ago at only 55; we spent 42 years together (met at him 13, me 14) ... welcome to the new people here. I don't post a lot, mostly read. To give you new widows/widowers hope ... you do GRADUALLY build a new life ... trust me ... gradually. I have never heard anyone describe their new status as bewildering ... but I was simply ... bewildered for a long time. Every situation is so different ... I hurt for all of you. Welcome!

It is extremely difficult to actually go to a restaurant, movie, whatever ... alone ... been there, still doing that. It seems, at first, way too much bother than it is worth, to begin to build a circle of friends as well as family members to do things with. Everything changes so drastically, the death of a spouse, in a way, I was kinda lucky b/c my husband was so ill so long ... I pretty much spent 12 years alone before he died ... I did have a couple friends/family members abandon me after he died, but not many ... I am pretty outgoing so I made some new friends, connected with some old ones I had not seen or heard from in a long time. It really does not seem, at first, worth the bother, but the day comes you realise that just for five minutes, or for, one hour, u r not dwelling on your beloved passing. It is really tough, but you do get thru it. Blessings to all of u