Julie, I hear you! I posted this on the other site W/W 's and it's concerning the six month point which you are approaching.I do not understand this either but be assured the people have walked in your shoes. Everyone is in different time frames as we progress. I feel you sadness and emptyness.

My post: I too found the six month date to be particularly difficult. Its like it just happened all over again and you relive it. There must be a psychology event associated. I think it may be the point in the journey where the finality of it begins to sink in and you know the gig is up. Julie please feel free to vent to me any time. This time of year Im just hanging around the house doing projects. Today it was bedding which I placed outside and it froze, brought in to house dried and placed outside to freshen again. It amazes me how similar this is transpiring for each of us. Its like there is a script with minor variances for each of us. Sundays are my day from hell and I suspect they will be for quite some time. These dark days are more difficult as I run on sunshine for my power. I posted some more photos from my deck.

Montana hugs to all!

Dewey

I feel the same way! It's been almost 5 months, and I seem to be crying more.
I think it's the colder weather, it gets dark earlier, plus the holidays approaching. I feel sad.

Hugs,
Janie

I think I know what you mean. I'm almost at 5 months and it feels like the fog is back. I wonder if I'm just avoiding reality. I've chosen not to celebrate the upcoming holidays. I'm going away with my sister in law for TG and home to England for Christmas. One day is pretty much like another. Last weekend I was sad because I realized I'm getting more used to living alone. Married life seems like an eternity ago. Perhaps Dewey is right and the full finality is starting to sink in. I don't remember single life being this hard. I feel like I'm just treading water. Can't go back and not ready to move forward. Don't know if this helps at all. Liz

The first 6 months is when the initial shock wears off. And reality sets in. so its like the beginning without the shock to protect you. And will stay like that until at least the one year mark. Everyone is different, but I find that was true for me. I made myself start healing at the one year mark, START... not finished. I am at 21 month date, and for the last couple of weeks, I have cried a whole lot. Each phase is different. but the end is still the same. We are alone. Bless you all on this journey of loss. Sandee

I remember those days and they are very hard. Remember to take each day one moment at a time. This journey is like a roller coaster, one moment you think you will make it through, then the next your world comes crashing down again. But I promise there is light in this tunnel. Even though we will never get over our loss, you will become stronger.

Hi! Julie 5 months for me also and 32 years together aswell. I had my cry today , some days I feel ok ( never right) just ok. Your right it still feels new, like it happened yesterday. I miss him so much too and with Christmas nearing is a dread I'm not wanting at all. I cant get used to being everywhere on my own. Its scary. I hope things get better for us all, lets hope the new year will bring us a bit of peace. I know my heart hurts so much.Hugs to you. Here for you. Val

Julie,
I lost my Ben about 5 months ago too. I have been feeling exactly as you do.
I have put it down to the, time of year , the general feeling of loneliness, extreme sadness, and just missing him ALL the time.
Like you, I always say I am fine and get on with it, am I being true to myself ? I just don't know.
You are not alone, I am grateful you posted, thanks,
Sandra

Hi Julie . . I am at the 7.5 month mark since my husband passed. My journey was/is much like many others dealing with grief. Initially, I was insulated by "shock", yet also "relieved" that he didn't have to suffer (nor I as his sole caregiver) for a longer period of time . . which led to feelings of guilt for not crying more. The beginning was much easier as the denial was firmly in place. Are you familiar with the acronym DABDA? Phases of grief . . . Depression, Anger, Bargaining, Denial and Acceptance. These are all normal emotions in the grieving process that we must accept to work through our loss. And they most certainly don't go in any one order. I vacillate between them all . . sometimes experiencing all of the emotions in a single day. Lately, I'm just left feeling low energy and depressed. I am fairly isolated in a new state and most friends and family are at a distance. Everyone has gone back to their respective lives and I'm left feeling alone and abandoned, again all normal aspects to grief work. This in many ways is a solo journey . . yet knowing there are others experiencing the same emotions helps tremendously. I am new to this site and am feeling very grateful this morning for your post and the ability to share and express my journey. Big hug to you and hang in there. We are promised that time will heal.

I really appreciate everyone's support and input it helps so much to
be able to come to this site where everyone understands.Julie

Julie,

Me, too. Now at nearly 3 years, I can look back and realize that my denial began wearing off around my 5th month. At 7 months, I realized that I was facing reality, although I wasn't ready for it (never really was ready for it). Just when you think things are becoming bearable - Wham! Back come the meltdowns and the I-just-can't-do-this-anymore's. You will do it, though - albeit kicking and screaming with tears, exhaustion and/or anger. One day you'll realize that this all IS real and you will slowly come to realize that you can either fight it for the rest of your life or accept it and move forward (notice I did not say "move on"). That was my turning point. I believe we will always have a sadness - much like a wound that will never fully heal - but I have learned to smile and laugh - really laugh! - again. And, boy! does it ever feel good! You're already beginning to heal, since you come here to share with all of us.

Hugs,

Terry