Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hello everyone, I haven't been here in a while.I will try to express myself the best I can. My husband passed away on May 2014 he died at the age of 22. I was 5 months pregnant when my husband died. Although it has been 8 months (not long) I miss him like it was yesterday. I feel so lonely. My daughter is now 4 months soon to be 5. I live with her and my 7years old son (previous relationship). Slowly I'm trying to have a "normal" life for the kids. I enrolled myself in college to try to better myself. Taking 4 classes and working full time is not easy. When my husband died I was 22 Im now 23 people keep telling me that I'm young that my pain will pass but they not in my shoes. I will always love and cherish my husband. I'm so angry at life I see all this happy couples and I just can't stop thinking why us. Why him? He had an asthma attack that cause him respiratory failure that's what the autopsy revealed. This is the first time I hear someone dies of Asthma attack. I'm trying my best to be a happy person for the kids but I've become a bitter person.
I don't have any words of advice except try to take care of yourself, so that you'll be able to be there for your kids. Best wishes to you!
You have been through so much. It seems like you are just beginning to face the trauma you have been through.
To be 5 months pregnant, lose your husband so unexpectedly, with asthma, then left with so many unanswered questions.....you have every right to feel how you feel! I am concerned you have taken on so much, going back to college,...taking 4 classes,.... working full time, .....taking care of 2children.....Please, my precious girl, I wonder if you have taken on too much. You need time to take time for yourself, at least to deal with your grief.
If you don't take the time, .... my concern is....it will catch up with you!
I am glad you came back here, for some support....I, for one,...really care about you,
Hugs Sandra
There are no real answers or solutions, we just have to face each day and the "stuff' that goes with it! You MUST survive for not only yourself but for your children.
We all send our very best wishes and my arms around you in the hopes of bringing you the love that you so much deserve.
May the future become brighter and more fulfilling for you and your beautiful children.
Roz
I'm so sorry for your loss - at such a young age. One of the widows in my social group was 29 when she lost her husband. Another friend lost her first husband in a car crash at age 26 - I don't know how she found the strength to carry on.
It's hard. We all know how hard it is. Keep reaching out to us, to any support groups that may be in your area. Perhaps one of the local churches has a group that can help? or student services at your school?
Above all, be gentle with yourself. It hasn't been even a year, yet, M. It took me until now (23 months) to get past the anger I felt at my husband's loss, because I felt he was partly responsible for his own death, not taking care of his health. You feel what you feel. Talk about it, write about it, drive out to somewhere isolated and have a good scream! (I did that more that a few times. Even threw a bunch of old dishes around...)
And as Sandra said, maybe you need to scale back a wee bit, just for now. Take care of yourself and your kids; school may have to wait a little bit. (Bravo to you for trying!)
Take care, and keep in touch with us all, M.