Well it will be 5 months on Saturday that I lost my dear husband Gary. It seems like a life time and I miss him so much. I write in my journal and I talk to him and I wish he could answer back, and I tell him I love him every single day, and I cry every single day. It feels like he has been gone for ages and then I realize again it is only 5 months. The ache is still there as if it was just yesterday.

I dream about him and sometimes he comes to me in my dreams, and sometimes I think I feel him touch me. I had a dream about him one night and then out of no where in my dream I felt him touch and squeeze my leg, and when I woke up I SWEAR it was so real. It made me feel so good that he came to me. I cherish those times and I never forget them.

I would do anything to have him back and I would give up EVERYTHING just to have him back, but I know that won't happen but sometimes I wish it could. I miss him everyone, and it hurts so much. I have started seeing my therapist and it will only be the second time, but I am glad I am going, then after I will start group therapy. So I hope this will help me.

Thank you to everyone that reads my posts and supports me with replies as they do help me understand that everyone here is going through the same thing. 

Hugs to all. Until next time I post.