10 months here....not yet

I noticed the same thing. Total air head. I catch myself saying to myself be careful. I forget little things like leaving my coffee on the counter and reaching for it after I am 10 mins on the road thinking you idiot. I went into work when I was supposed to be off. I feel like sometimes I just want to go into a bubble and not face the world and then at other times I just want to leave the empty house and see some people. It's not easy. Things are so different now in every way.

9 months here and still not normal. Still a lot of crying. I lost my husband of 37 years and 9 days later I lost my sister - she was 55 years old and my best friend. My whole world is turned around. All I want to do is sleep which is not the solution. I don't know how long back to normal. It's winter, I live in northern Ontario. My son does my snow and the house is very lonely, just me and my cat. I have started to go to a church that I like and I have my kids over for supper every Saturday. But the week is lonely and boring. There are many things that I could be doing but just don't feel like it. Like you, I am trying to be courageous and keep on going.
At night I try to plan my tomorrow but most times I don't even want to get out of bed. I'll pray for you if you pray for me. It can't hurt and who knows, maybe we can help each other out. Take care, Carmen

I am not at two months yet and I have to admit it freaks me out to hear you guys are still going through this... I closed a bank account that I had written very important payments out of. Then I also paid most of my bills twice this month. Yikes....

For me the fog lifted significantly at the 10 month mark. That said everyone's journey is different with good days and weeks mixed with bad ones. I learned at one point in this journey dont go by others timeframes because our life expereince are unique unto ourselves as we cope with the road called grief. All I can tell you for sure is things will improve in very small steps. Gerald

It lifts for different people at different times and has a GREAT deal to do with how you combat it. Grief is exhausting, and it will take so much out of you PHYSICALLY that it drains your ability to think clearly. Somebody here once said that grief was like digging ditches 12 hours a day, and they were right. This is a hard fight, and you need to do what you can to keep your strength up.

Are you sleeping well yet? That's a big factor in "widda brain". Are you eating healthy and getting all the nutrients you need? Are you taking extra supplements like "stress vitamins" (B-complex)? Are you drinking enough water to counteract the dehydration from all the crying? The dehydration alone can make you an airhead.

At a point where we don't feel like taking care of ourselves, we are also at a point where we need to take care of ourselves MORE not less. It is a struggle.

I had my sons depending on me and my work colleagues depending on me, so I put in the effort to fight my way through it. I didn't want to. I wanted to curl up into ball and withdraw from the world. The world had other plans. So I started drinking a lot of water, taking vitamins, making sure I ate at least one healthy meal a day, walked on my coffee breaks to get a little exercise and relieve the stress which helped me sleep better, too.

If you are concerned that is it not "normal" for you, and if you have tried these things to counteract it, maybe it is time for a check-up to rule out other factors, like low thyroid for instance.

Please do take good care of you. Sometimes we forget we need to do that.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I am also at 9 months. I consider this my new normal. I think the brain has to be rewired due to the changes in our lives. Lots of change. So, we are constantly reworking things in our heads.
I don't feel like I am in the fog anymore. Stress is off the charts due to dealing with the holidays alone. Choosing gifts alone. Decorating alone. Hosting alone. Tending to kids' needs alone. It takes ALOT of brain power to unlearn and relearn new things.
I think all people who drink coffee, forget their coffee at times. That's a good illustration to learning to live this life.
We do things out of habit and it leads us back to the fact that they are no longer here.
Anyway, this season has been difficult for me but I consider all of us champions, because each step is a strain and we are definitely overcoming. Think about how exhausted a marathon runner feels at the end of a race. Our brains are working every neuronal pathway to rewrite how we live.
Go TEAM DS!

It really does get better I am almost 7 years in and I think more clearly and wish I had waited much longer in doing some of the things I did that can't be undone but it is what it is and at the time I felt it was right after all if we haven't been a widow before it is a learning from experience kind of thing. I still have brain fog days but now I blame it on aging ;) Hugs!!!

I am only at 9 weeks and the brain fog is terrible! I am also teacher. I feel like such a fraud. I teach Anatomy and the classes have been working on the muscle system. I tested them last week on the vocabulary of the muscle system and I could hardly remember the answers. How can I expect them to remember when I have been doing this for years and can't remember? I had to withdraw from grad school because there is no way I could've done that...but I was hoping it would be better by next fall to start again. Maybe not?

Same here. I'm giving myself a break though - nothing is "normal". I have to find and define what a new "Normal" will be. It will be 3 months on 12/17 since my wife died and I'm no where near the same as I was before my wife's death nor can I see myself ever being that person I was again. In time I will define who I am and how I will be moving forward - Until then I have to move thru this horrible grieving process. It will end someday - I just pray it is sooner rather than later. Based on what I've read on this site, everyone moves at their own pace.

20 months...still feeling it.

We used to call it "widow's brain". How long? We are probably way different. It actually took me a few years however, like every other type of healing, some of us recover much quicker. The important thing is that you realize this and not make any major decisions during this time and be patient with yourself.

Its almost two months for me, cared for hubby with cancer really intensive since June. I am way behind in everything. We have a business and I cannot set down and deep think like is needed to get paperwork done. Its freaking me out, want to scream. Tonight the dog is looking in the air like she sees something, nothing there, what the heck. Today basketball games on, we always watched them together, I kept feeling him here, was good, but then I cried again. I am praying for a clearer head to get things caught up and stop some of my stress. Ten months, 20 months, oh please no.

I don't think there is a time limit on this along with everything else dealing with a loss. I was just like you looking for a time to feel normal again. I am at 14 months. I am definitely not normal but I can see some light if that helps. But I feel we are all different. Because even though I may see some light, I also still feel this fog.

Been there, done that lol! It does get better I promise. I'm at 3 years; but remember well that first 6 months to 1 year...I made a lot of lists...lots & lots...to keep myself on track!! It'll be ok, hang in there. Blessings always. sharon