Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Today has been a confusing day for me and I really hadn't noticed this so much as I have today. For just a little while I almost felt normal, like nothing has happened, it didn't last that long but how strange is that ? For a little while my brain just was in denial, nothing sad had happened and oh, my dear Lord it was wonderful.!! Am I having a breakdown ? It's crazy because right now I am so damned depressed I want run screaming out of here. To go just anywhere but here and now !! My goodness, how weary I am of all this shit, the always sorrow, lonely and just no hope for it to get better ! Just that fleeting moment of time showed me how it use to be and now never will be again. Yes, I do take an antidepressant, guess it isn't working anymore. huh? Being in a relationship for so many years and then it's gone, that has to effect a person in oh so many ways. Now just having one day turn into another and another. I think I must help myself, go to greaveing group meetings and learn how to move on. Or go for therapy and see if that will help. I feel stagnant, unable to help myself and knowing I need to do something ! I don't want to always feel like this. I want the sorrow and sadness to be gone and knowing that most people say that it takes time. I'm way too impatient, tired, and feeling aloneness. Like all of you here, my heart breaks for you too. Reading your posts and knowing just exactly how you feel !! We are just human and miss the ones who are gone and not a darn thing we can do about it, but we can feel for each other and say HEY! You're not alone. Even that helps some. God Bless us all ! and thanks for reading my rantings of a crazy woman !
Ruthann
Ruthann
maryelnew
yup, mood swings galore. I think it was friday, I was in the car and silently thanking everyone in this group for making realize how normal all my reactions have been. The days I am all over the place, the days I think I can do this, the days I'm convinced I can't, the days I feel guilty I think I can, back to the days I'm all over the place. No wonder I'm tired!
ptorres
Ruthann, I think we have all thought we are going crazy at some point, I know I have. You said, "I do have reasons to live, children and grandchildren and I would never want them to feel like I do !! Not ever." I have often thought I wished it were me instead of my beautiful wife as I have always told people "She's the good one". But I can't imagine her going through this awful grief either. I know her and I know she would have a very difficult time getting through these intense awful feelings. I too feel that these terrible feelings will never end but like many of us here, I don't have any good days but some are better than others. Here's to hope.
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