Hi Michele, I think it will pass with time. Juani always had to have the tv on for background noise, and of course, had her favorite shows, and once she became couch-laden, that is all she had to do when I was at work. The first 2 weeks after she died, I did not turn on the TV once, and just decided it was a waste of money, and canceled the cable. For me, still no TV (but I do watch a dvd now and then with company). After 5 months, I am having thoughts of maybe getting it turned back on. I do find myself watching the TV when visiting my son and his family, or when eating at my favorite restaurant. But I am enjoying the news blackout - I can't do anything about what's happening in this world, so why do I need that additional stress? As for music, I know what you mean. There were songs we loved to listen to, and at first I couldn't listen. But as time has passed, there is really only one that she loved to play when doing the prayer line that I just can't listen to still.

Like everything else, it will come in time when you are ready and then the same songs will bring you joy and only good memories again. But until that happens, if the song brings sadness - me, I don't want to go there. You might try other genres of music (I found a bluegrass station on satellite radio, and really enjoyed it the other day - it brought out the countryboy hick in me from growing up in rural Missouri. Classical is good and very soothing. Jazz and rhythm and blues. Who knows, you might even like opera. I guess my point is that you might try things the two of you never listened to and see if you might like something new and different. I do think music soothes our souls (except for, like you say, that rap crap). ~ Scott

I enjoyed the silence too. Sharon

I used to listen to music every night as I went to sleep. It was soothing. But I soon found that every song I used to play reminded me of my wife. I couldn't handle it. Now, eight months later, I once in a while will pull up a specific song and only that song, and i can listen to that over and over. Interesting idea, Michele, maybe I'll try polkas and rap ;)

I've also thought about taking up playing music again. Not sure if it will be good or bad.

I mostly always listen to christian radio station...housefm, here in oklahoma. After sean passed away, I almost turned off my radio,but two songs just kept playing over and over again.. my soul is on fire, and I do believe there is a message from sean in it. .. not sure what, he did want to be cremated, and then after hearing that, I almost felt horrible having his wishes carried, out.. you soul iis on fire, and I had him cremated, lol. Ok not funny, but wonder if hes teasing me, from the spirit world... Then I listen a little more carefully, and think he would want me listening to these songs that bring comfort, peace and excitement. Do have to confess, when it becomes too much I will listen to hip for a bit, then back to my christian radio station. To each his own, and it's ok, just to not listen for awhile. I hardly ever watch the tv. and when I do, I never watch the news, or crime shows etc.. we usually watch,, hg tv, moutain men, or cutthroat kitchen, or chopped.. very innocent making food, and nothing that affects my soul...much love, and Im so sorry, music is making you sad, maybe someday in he future it will bring joy again.. big hugs carla

I still can't listen to music. We used to listen all the time, both of us downloaded music all the time, had ipods, etc. Just a major trigger. There is one volunteer position when I come on my shift that has music playing, and I just turn it off. So Michele I totally relate.