Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Insomnia

Jeff-Bolen
Jeff-Bolen
As you all know that know me it will be 3 years in September that my wife passed. For those that are new my profile is open, and I won't rewrite it here. My problem for all these 3 years is not getting sleep. I have tried a lot of things. First the most popular, alcohol, not good. Sleeping pills, melatonin, meditation, no caffeine, etc. Let me give last night for example. I made up my mind to do nothing to enhance my sleep as a baseline. Tried to go to bed at 11pm. Was still wide awake at 2am. Got up for a few minutes laid back down and slept for maybe an hour and back up at a little after 3am. I think I dozed off around 4 and woke up at 5:30am. I have to get up for work at 6am so I just got up for the day. So I got probably 2.5 maybe 3 hours sleep. This is typical. All the ways I have tried to enhance my sleep leads to all having their own type of hangover and I feel worse.

I just figured you all may have something that works for you and I'm willing to try anything. Someone told me to try Valerian root, and I ordered some of that. I would prefer to go the holistic route if possible.

Thanks everyone, love you all.

Jeff
ptorres
ptorres
Are you exercising? I feel when I don't get enough exercise it affects my sleep, appetite, aches and pains get worse etc.
Jeff-Bolen
Jeff-Bolen
Good idea, i haven't been because I pulled a tendon in my foot. It probably hasn't helped.
hgsdms
hgsdms
Wish I could help Jeff. Your description of last night could have been written by me. I do not have to go to work but absolutely cannot nap during the daytime as everyone tell me to do. I hope the Valerian root helps you. Did nothing for me but then I even tried a sleeping pill for a short time. Went to sleep very quickly....for 2 hours, and then wide awake again! I was hoping that time would take care of it, but if you are still having the problem at 3 years then at only 17 months, I'd better not count on it! LOL
Jeff-Bolen
Jeff-Bolen
I hear ya. I used to sleep like a log, even through my wife snoring like a freight train. I think that's part of why i don'r sleep. She had a slight sleep apnea and I would always wake up if she stopped snoring. We were married for 40 years. I guess its a hard habit to break after all that time. I even tried a snoring app on my IPhone but it wasn't the same:)
dschwartz
dschwartz
Yes, the dreaded insomnia problem . . I still have issues w/ it also. It started way before J passed. Doc prescribed me Lexipro and Klonopin (both of the lowest doses) . . it helped for a while. I think my meds would have to be upped for them to become effective again, and I simply don't want to become dependent, so don't take the kloni half the time. Sometimes I sleep, others not. I've just gotten used to the routine, although it can be tiresome. I agree w/ ptorres . . exercise is golden and I'm not getting much these days because of a leg energy. BTW, I previously tried all of the holistic and otc products . . none worked long term for me. :( Sorry, I don't have any answers for you. Just wanted to say "you're not alone". Hugs and hope you find better sleep in future. D
Jeff-Bolen
Jeff-Bolen
Thanks, I know it happens to us all, but i was hoping it would get better. I guess I need to get used to it too.
gerald222
gerald222
Jeff first of all it was nice seeing you post. I often wonder how you are doing. As for the insomnia I know they suggest not watching tv or any real stimuli before sleeping ie; just read a book etc but I am on the other end of the sleep cycle. I tend to sleep to much and must force myself to get going. If only we could do a trade to balance us both out lol. I know thats not how life works. Seriously lack of sleep is challenging and I hope you can get a handle on it. Your friend from Canada. Gerry
maryelnew
maryelnew
sorry Jeff, I could have written your post, but I do find what helps me a little is to have the tv on, I know it goes against all the proper sleep hygiene tips, but for me a monotone show, or a movie in the cd player helps a lot. I don't watch it, I set the time for the tv and roll over. I think what it does is keep my mind from being too active. I;m not saying it is a cure, but it does help me. If you have a tv in he bedroom might be worth a try, And I should add, I've never in my life (including childhood) been a good sleeper, I've just gotten worse since Ron passed, so if this helps me a little bit, may help someone else more.
bookdragon
bookdragon
Hi Jeff-I think the problem with not falling asleep is that when we can't we stress out about it and that makes it worse. I have a small glass of brandy when i can't sleep, it seems to help. Hate the taste though. lol Patti
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
hi Jeff, good to hear from you. I have finally got my sleep together, I turn my air on, in my room, cold as I can get it. Take a shower. Cool... Take a Vit C, Mucinex, Excedrin Migraine pill. Go to bed same time every night. If I have a time staying asleep, I have a slice of union in the fridge in a mason jar. I go breathe it in for a few minutes. Back to bed. I am out all night, up early, and have energy...It works for me... Sandee
sandeestttn
sandeestttn
The onion trick, I learned from my grandmother in Tennessee.
avm99
avm99
I have troubles sleeping too. I find yoga helps a lot.

Antonella
Jeff-Bolen
Jeff-Bolen
All good ideas thanks. I am up for trying them all, except maybe for yoga. Not sure I would live through that.....

Hi Gerry, good to here from you. I would gladly take some sleep from you :) I actually have a blue blocker pair of glasses that is supposed to filter the blue light from ipads and computers so as to not prevent the production of melatonin. Just got it, I'll let you know how that works.

Brandy sounds good except i had a gastric bypass in 2007 and the hard stuff hits me too hard, hence me trying beer.

Never heard of the onion trick, i gotta try that one. Thanks Sandee

thanks again guys. I haven't been on here as much in the past few months, but I do try to keep up reading the site.

Take care, Jeff
hgsdms
hgsdms
I too have never heard of breathing in the fumes from an onion Sandee. I'm assuming it is a raw onion? Will have to buy one whenever I'm in a grocery store again. I go there very seldom.
wendimac
wendimac
I also have a problem with insomnia, and am often up until 5 or 6 am...you mentioned sleeping pills...depending on what you are taking and how much, sometimes they can actually work the opposite of what they are supposed to ..'paradoxic effects' it's called...can't offer any other advice, as I am in the same boat...just thought I'd mention that, though...