Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
Hi Everyone. Thanks to Martha, she explained how to post on the main discussion board. I lost my husband to an abdominal aneurseym a little over two months ago. It was very sudden. We talked that morning, had breakfast and even took our dog to the vet. By afternoon, he was dead. I reached out to this support group because I dont have any family and very little in the way of support up here. We moved to a 10 acre farm in March of 2010, so my husband would be close to the little airport where he was helping build a two seater open cockpit experimental plane. I always wanted horses, which I have loved since a child, on my property. My dream was realized when last May I bought a beautiful palamino quarter horse and two miniature horses. My goal was to ride the big horse and learn to drive the two mini's. We had a cart and wagon built for this purpose. Now I feel like Im in a mess. When my husband was alive, it was hard but we were able to be a team and take care of this place. Now I just feel trapped. I sent the horses elsewhere to be taken care of for the winter, but in a few months, I have to decide whether I want them returned or not. Taking care of three horses is alot of work. I just want the best for them. I love my animals and its not their fault that the situation has changed. I know better than to make quick decisions right now. At least I am crying less. I want to thank all of you who have reached out to me already. God Bless You. Carole
My deepest sympathy in the loss of your husband .You stated you do not have family around you, so I would like to welcome you to your new DS family. Everyone here truly cares and has so much understanding and compassion. I can so understand the feeling of being "trapped" with so much on your plate and trying to make all those decisions that need to be made. I would say hold on for awhile if you can. I would also say that it may be just as important for you to be closer to family if possible. After I lost my husband 1yr. 2mo. ago I knew I had to sell my home so I did it right away against others wishes. I am certain it was the right thing to do. If you can ask for help from friends/family please do that without hesitation. It is a long hard road you will travel, but know we are here for you every step of the way. Try not to overwhelm yourself with too many decisions at once, just what you must take care of at the time. I wish you peace and strength for your future.
Hugs,
Robin
With understanding, Sallie
I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband. I lost mine a little over 2 years ago. This is a great group of people, that will help you with some of the pain and trials you will be going through.
It sounds like your horses give you a lot of comfort. Maybe you could hire a teenager, that loves animals to help you out. You could maybe make some money, with the small ones, for birthday parties. I know right now, everything is overwhelming. Give it time and a lot of thought and I'm sure you will make the right decisions.
Good Luck to you,
Paula
When I was younger, I was raised around horses, when I first was married to my first husband, we managed my fathers cattle ranch and I know what you mean about always loving horses.
Carole, I will pray that find your answers to know what to do with your horses. Your husband may of left you physically but know he is with you spiritually.
Judy