It doesn't go away quickly. For me, 2 1/2 years later I'm still looking to tell him things and crying when he's not answering me. I wish there were a magic wand to make the pain go away for you and all of us. But the pain, tears, and hurt are all part of the loss we have.

I'm sending you hugs!

I still find myself, at almost a year into this journey, starting to pick up the phone at work and call to ask him or tell him something. It does get better but doesn't go away quickly. It's just part of this very surreal journey we are all taking I guess. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs

(((hugs)))

I lost Bill a year ago on Christmas Eve...I am so sorry for your pain.

For me, what helped- was to use the journal portion of this site to write all those thoughts that I wanted so much to say/tell him. Along with still talking to him sometimes while I was alone (and everyone does it) I would write once or twice a week (here) just a chatty letter as if I were telling him the details of our lives.

It may help
you as well.

(((hugs)))

Carla

Oh yeah, I talk to David all day long. I live alone now, so nobody can hear me. I talk to him in the car. I have to remember to shut my mouth in the grocery store in case somebody hears me and thinks I'm crazy! LOL!

But I know what you are saying. It's tough and does ease with the passage of time. But I think it's just so natural to turn to your husband (or wife) to make a comment or ask a question, almost sensing their energy is still with you. And when you realize it isn't - the heartbreak starts all over again.

It will be 8 months next Tuesday and I still do that. Sometimes in conversations with my friends I find myself referring to my son Eddie as Mike. I feel so bad when I do that. I find so many times that I can't wait to tell Mike something and he is not there.
A few months ago I got a huge raise at work. I was so overwhelmed that all I could do was cry because I wanted to share the news with Mike and knew I could not because he was not there. He would have been so proud. I ended up sharing it with a friend of 20 years and that I also work with. I cried like a fool, she was so understanding but it still wasn't Mike. This is so hard.

Yes, I too find that you want to share even the smallest details with him and break down as they are not there to share it with anymore. I do still talk to him and tell him about my day but it is not the same.

I am very sorry for your recent loss. It really is hard to accept that our partners are not with us. It took me over 6 months to even begin to have the reality of it start hitting home. I still am not sure how "real" I think it is since I keep expecting him to some home.
I have tried a couple of things that have helped some. I talk to his picture quite often. I tell him how I feel, what is happening that he might be interested in and just talk to him in general. When I do this I look right into his eyes in the picture. The other thing I do is write letters to him. It doesn't bring him back but somehow it does relieve some on the intensity of the shock & grief I feel when I realize all over again that he is no longer with me.
Warm wishes to you.

So sorry for your loss. In the beginning I wrote to a very dear friend every day - he wrote me back in two word answers - but knowing that someone was ''listening'' to me was very important. Later on he said that I sounded ''crazy'', but he understood - he had gone through a divorce, and then married, many years ago but could still relate to being alone and lonely.

Then I discovered DS, and started to journal - it helped me so much. I also have an ongoing letter to Jerry with gossip, pillow talk - everything and anything. I miss talking to my best friend so much - it's sad.
Best regards,
Vicki

You are never going to forget. Instead, you are going to learn how to live with it. Grief, in its own way, is a lifelong process. Not as intense as the first year, and not as challenging as the second year, but a part of your life is gone.

I don't mind the triggers. They do cause me to feel bad, and create a good cry. The cry is therapeutic and continues to reinforce the feelings that have been uncovered since the heavy veil of grief has lifted.

Your tears are an honor to your husband and marriage.

I dont think this ever really goes away, but it becomes almost a part of who we are.

I talk to Greg every day. It may be venting my day, may be asking advice, maybe that moment when just for a second I forget he's no longer "here".

I do believe their spirit is always with us, and they are such a big part of us, that even if it's our subconscious 'answereing' for us, we KNEW them better than ANYONE ELSE on the planet. We know how they feel, what they thought, and how they would handle situations that come up.

I do know that with time,( and nothing but time helps no matter how muchy we may hate that word!!!) We (specking for myself) just accept that whenever we need them, they ARE there to talk to, to vent to, and to share the good things we do. EVEN if they are only in our heart, they ARE here and a part of us forever.

Let those triggers pop when they need to. I do, and every time I do, I feel just a little bit stronger, a little bit wiser, and a little bit more OK.

Talking to them just means we love them, and miss them. Nothing else, and nothing wrong with love.

HUGS and hopes for more peace to you day by day. Diane

I try to Journal at night before I go to bed as a replacement for the phone call we would have. I also journal in the morning if I am lucky enough to dream of Connan.

I talk to my poor husband so much he's probably asked for a "mute" button in Heaven!

i find i have more questions than answers when i read ur post. mostly, i just want u to know that i feel u. it has been the most difficult acceptance of my life, and i just dont see the point in trying to fight it. i txted his fon the first few weeks, then my oldest wanted dads number, so i just email him now. someday maybe ill reread them.

edithbathgate, your reply gave me a good laugh. Thank you for that!

Yes, we were so used to sharing most of the things in our lives with our loved ones, so probably all of us are still talking aloud to them.

This feeling may never go away. I am always coming up with something I need to tell Mike and the realuty that he isn't here hits hard. I now write down all the things I need to tell him and it has become a ritual.

Maggie