Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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21 months

michellebrand
michellebrand

I hated God when he took my hubby from me suddenly 21 months ago. Someone told me to look for signs of contact rather then believe my husband was just dead and gone... Taken and stolen... The 1st thing inoticed were the dragonflies... Everywhere.... Then songs.... Then I couldn't stop seeing the signs.... I may not believe completley in your God, but I believe my husband is still here.... Even though I have found another man to love. My husband answers my questions, he hears my heartache, he smiles at my accomplishments.... I miss his complete and total unconditional gushing love.. I may never feel that loved ever again... But I'm not gonna stop trying.... Thank John for always loving me!!

Rick51
Rick51
Thanks for your honesty. I hate God if he/she exists. I have had no signs from my wife. I do believe in a spirit/soul, but in that case why no signs/contact. I was told by a friend that she would make contact within a week of passing, and despite waiting, watching, and listening I received nothing. I now question my belief in a spirit/soul.
michellebrand
michellebrand
Oh Rick.. I was so there... I was trying to die on a daily basis... Taking opiates just to get out of bed them taking more and more .... I was so angry, pissed, I didn't want to be their mother any more... (they were 8 and 14) I couldn't kill myself but each morning I woke up I was even more mad that I had lived through the night.... I wish I could tell you some magical words of wisdom but I can't. My 14 year old told me to get help.... And I listened. Once I stopped hating him, God, and everyone else I started to look for signs. My hubby and I had a code of either of us died... Like we both knew that we were supposed to come back and haunt the other person... Lol.... But I guess it doesn't work that way. When I'm sad, or I yell a question to the sky... I immediately know the answer within my soul.... That's where he lives, I hear him, I know it's him... I still don't believe in God... I believe in LOVE!
Sophia2002
Sophia2002
That’s a refreshingly different perspective. Thank you
cupolatte
cupolatte
I believe in love too. I tried the points of contact too. It didn't work for me. I looked for things that Rick had seen or touched. I watched the milk cartons in the grocery store until there were no freshness dates left that his eyes had seen. I would listen to the lawnmowers roaring on a Saturday and imagine he was out mowing the lawn. I was angry at God too, but that scared me a little because I had been taught that God was All Powerful and I didn't want lightening to strike me. That was the point where I met the real God, loving and comforting. I realized that God had not "stolen" Rick, although that is how I had been feeling. Everyone dies. It is the condition of a broken world. God taught me that among other things, He is love and the source of love and that Rick had been a gift of God's love to me. Now I don't have Rick, but I do have God. He comforts me and guides me. He parts lanes of traffic when I am on the wrong side of the interstate, and He warms my heart.