This seems so common sense to us, but for some bizarre reason, the victim, who goes into these sites knowing the risks, becomes totally trusting of the words of the scammer over time. Not sending money is so obvious, so it's scary that these intelligent people become so hopeful and start living in a fantasty world and then become blindsided. This tells us how fragile the mind can be.

I missed 20/20 last night so just watched on line. Sadly, these women seemed to know deep down something was wrong but couldn't stop believing this could be the one. This takes me back to the thread about "pretty" - we want validation we are still attractive. When it comes to affairs of the heart the brain doesn't always have the last word ;-)

The thought of dating is too upsetting to me. All the people out their just waiting to take advantage not to mention just plain evil that lurks. I am lonely but better lonely than meeting someone like that!

It is so sad, and sick, that there are predators out there who look for anyone and everyone they can take advantage of. So many people, young and old, are lonely, vulnerable, they just need to believe in someone, to have someone love them and care for them. Sites like dating sites, and even sites like this one, are prime property for people looking for someone to scam, because so many people are hurting. I agree that no matter what the perceived circumstance, you should NEVER send money to anyone you have met online in any way. Our minds and hearts are indeed fragile after losing a spouse, or after any loss or life changing experience, we really need to encourage each other to stop and think, run it past a friend or family member, your minister, anything to get better insight into something before you act on it. I feel so bad when I hear someone has been taken for a ride like that, and it happens often, in many places, to many kinds of people. The most intelligent person, who normally would use the best of common sense, can let their guard down for just a moment and end up being taken advantage of. I hope each and every one on this site, if they ever find themselves in a situation they can't be absolutely certain of, will look to someone they trust for another perspective, just look at it from a different side, get another opinion, before they allow themselves to end up scammed.

I can not understand how some of these people get victomized. There is so much out there within the media that warns the older ladies about getting taken in by the scammers. I guess there needs to be more out there on this and hope this program did someone some good.

Maggie

So sad to hear about people being victimized. Life is taking chances but wareness is a necessary component. Never meet someone except in a very public place. Never send money to them infact if they ask for cash, "Dump them"

Hold yourself up to your own standards and make sure you aren't compromising yourself. Loneliness is better than taken advantgage of. Besides, in my opinion, getting to know yourself, who you are and what you want and following that goal is the safest way to living life to its fullest.

Even though I'm dating I am very happy with me and who I am. I will not compromise that, EVER.. Sharon

The elderly with diminished thought process (meaning their ability to process between right and wrong has slowed down) are the #1 targets, women alone and lonely seem to be the #2, I guess with so much media attention on this I too am amazed on how many still fall for the scams....If it sounds too good its a scam...

Fragile mind is probably the proper word..

The thought of dating doesn't cross my mind. The only time it is thought of is when someone else puts it out there, or under my nose.

I was fortunate and extremely blessed to have been part of a union with my husband. I guess I'm spoiled in the respect that I knew where I stood with him. There was no guessing, no surprises, no drama and no baggage. Dick was courteous, respectful and always had my best interest in mind. He always wanted me to be safe.

I remain safe now in an unsafe world. Too many predators, cheats, and people with self-gratification on their agenda. My husband and I worked too hard to acquire what I now have, and it will be a cold day in hell when I let someone take that from me.

I have nothing against dating, but one needs to be extremely careful today. Too much turmoil and it isn't getting any better.

Same here. After 43 years of marriage and working so hard to get what I have today, there is no way that I will let anyone take advantage of me. We both worked shift work, one coming in the door the other on there way out to work, and trying to balance taking care of the kids as well. My husband passed before he could even get a retirement income and the survivors pension is half what he would of gotten. Never even seen an old age pension after working in heavy industry for over 40 years. Looking back how hard he tried it feels like he was only a work horse, never even getting a chance to retire and enjoy all the things he worked so hard for. I would be crazy to let someone take advantage of me.

There are way too many scammers out there! One sent me a message on Facebook the other day. He wanted to be my friend.
I looked to see where he was located and realized from the very little info he had that all he wanted was a woman to send him money. I sent him a message and said,"I'm not rich and I do not send money to anyone." Haven't heard from him again! LOL LOL
Joe worked too hard and so did I to be handing out money to men. I had already retired when Joe died, but he hadn't. He did not get to retire and enjoy time off. I wish he could have. He did enjoy his job ~~ most of the time though.
So, what I do have is mine, and if any is left when I go ~~ it will be my kids ~~ not a new man. .......just saying........

When we planned our wills, my husband's wish was for our estate to be split between both our remaining siblings, how ever many are still living at the time of our death.

I have fulfilled that, and my estate remains divided between the sisters and brothers. There is no plan to change it, ever.

I make a good home now for myself and the cat. She may only be a cat, but she is one of God's creatures. I don't know what her life was before me, but she is well loved and cared for now, and believe it or not, she takes care of me and gives me love unconditionally. My husband's aunt said she believed Dick's soul was in the cat. I could not agree with her more!

When it comes to money, it seems we widows have to guard ours from lots of people. Relatives, ponzi schemers, etc. I find the best way to be safe is to make it clear that you have no money to give.

It was so shocking to find out that I am "elderly"..never occurred to me that I am in that category! Guess I am in denial by that ... Since my honey was 9 years older, never considered that I am OLD! Oh, well. I am very leery of anyone offering assistance of any kind. Just cynical, I guess. I have to think twice about any offers!! Common sense is the best defense, I think.

My experience has been in laws are probably worse than scammers! Someone you don't know who lives in Nigeria (or elsewhere) and is asking for money....probably should be thinking twice. But in laws who feel they should have gotten something, who have some odd sense of entitlement or who try to nickel and dime what ever they can....a little harder because you want to believe they wouldn't, no, couldn't be that crass when you have just lost your spouse.

leminpls, no experience with in-laws, but the money totally ruined my relationship with my father, who thought investing in anything but him was a bad idea.