I wish I had an answer for you. At almost 11 months, I still do not sleep well. I can sometimes fall asleep but then I wake many times in the night. Sleep has evaded me since the night my husband died, and even though I have many good days now, the nights still seem to be the hardest times. Hoping someone has some good advice. Hugs, Dawn

Sleeping has never been a problem for me but I stay up really late every night. I am a night owl. As a matter of fact I sleep late in the morning too. Of course there are a few nights where too much has gone on and I can't sleep. I do recommend meditation which I do every night and it really does help me sleep. Meditation CD's are available just about anywhere. I hope this helps a little. Big Hugs to you.

I hope someone has some good advice on this one because I'm in the same boat. I have a difficult time getting to sleep and seldom sleep more than 2 hrs at a time at the most before waking and having to try to go back to sleep. My mind also just runs in circles and will not shut down. Hugs

I'm having the same issues. It's almost like I'm afraid to go to sleep sometimes. The weird thing is I'm not physically scared of living alone, my son, who is 6'4" and over 230 lbs, lives right next door in a neighborhood we have lived in for 30 years. So comforting to know it is just not me with this problem!
Blessings! Nonni B

I have the same problem. When Donna was still here we would go to bed at 9:30 and I would fall a sleep fast. Now I don't go to bed until 11 or 12 at night and I still lay there awake for a hour or so. When the alarm goes off I just want to sleep. I have tried tylenol pm and prescribed drugs but no help. I guess I will just live with it for now. Sorry I can't help but you at least are not alone. Maybe we should have a chat party at night to pass the time.lol
Ralph

Suzie - I call it hamster brain. I wake up, start thinking, and the lil' hamster, G-d bless her, starts on the wheel. I want to know why my brain can't process what it's got to process during the day, and take it easy at night! But nooo. It's hit me again this week, as it does every now and again. Sleeping was a huge problem for a long time - I do the Tylenol PM thing too, and it does help, I just don't want to take it on a regular basis. I've got to say, though, that gradually my sleep patterns got a lot better over time. I think I exhausted myself, lol. Ok, and I'm putting myself out on a limb here, but we're all grownups. Widda sex (ie, with oneself) works, both to relieve tension and put you back to sleep. (No outraged pm's, please! ) - Hugs, Marsha

I too am having a sleep problem after the death of Joanne. I'll go to bed around midnight then sleep soundly for 2 hours then awake and then be unable to fall back asleep with my mind racing. I've tried OTC sleep aids, anti-histamines, even allegra. None of these seem to work. I hope this passes.

Benydryl and reading combined usually does it for me. I still wake many times, but not sure it's not that menopause monster!!! COMBINED with the grief monster!

the OTC allegra never worked for me because it's non drowsy, but the benedryl IS drowsy stuff. After G passed, s ince I'm not a drug taker......at least NOW THAT i'M OLD!!!! lol she told me to try, and it did help!

hope it helps you too!

Marsha...."Widda sex"!!! LOL LOL YOU ARE MY HERO!!! lol lol

Good luck withy the sleep, and hope you get some more really soon!

HUGS Diane

this would be a good poll to start- i am in the same boat- no more than 2 to 3 hours sleep then i am mad all day cause i am so tired. and i really hate it when one of my kids come by and make themselves cozy and sleep on my couch. oh gosh i hate that.

In the beginning sleep was a real problem. When I would fall asleep I would wake up every morning at 3:00, precisely the time I woke up the last morning of Melvin's life and never went back to sleep. This went on for months and finally the doctor said I needed to sleep because I began to have some other health issues. He prescribed Ambien and it worked like a charm. After about two months on that, I was put on other medication for joint and neuromuscular problems Cymbalta and neurotin and that knocks me out. Then again I never go to bed early either but get up early since I am working. I'm being weaned off the neurotin so we will see what happens after that.

I don't think it's unusual at all. I'm writing this at almost 1 AM so I think you understand what I'm going thru at 19 months. I seem to see my wife's picture plastered on the front of my face all the time. I have had severe feelings of guilt about things I should have said and things I shouldn't have said. I just took 2 Xanax so I hope to be asleep soon. Tell your doctor about this and he'll give you something to relax you so you can fall asleep, Good luck.

Rick

Hello,

I too do not sleep at night, very well as any one can tell, I am on here posting some time all night. Then while I am sitting my feet swell up. I was a night owl before Home passed away, but I did sleep cause i knew he was here. When we would go to bed, we had this thing where where I would hold him for a while and then we would say good night, he would say turn on the music, Christian music, and we would both fall a sleep.

Now when I go to go to bed, if my mind is not thinking about how I want to do something the next day, I will lay there and just start taking to God and praying. I say to God, tell Home I Love Him, but do not tell him i miss him. When i am praying i fall asleep praying, talking to God and telling God how much i Love Him.

And then there are the nights when Charlie visits me, and then i am up different time through the night, walking back and forth, and back and forth rubbing my legs and telling Charlie to leave. I HATE THOSE NIGHTS!

i also have ativan to take 1mg. which i hardly take. Now tonight I took one because the last three nights i have been going to bed about 5-7 or so in the morning.

So maybe you could just start talking to the Lord and listening to soft, soft music.

Hope i could be a little help for you. But I think we are all in this boat of lonely nights, that is the worst for me so I come here to DS.
Thank you Jesus for DS
Big Hugs To You,
recent widow

.As you can tell by my post sleep is elusive. It has only been 10 months and the only time I have slept well was last week in the camper at my daughters. I welcome the day sleep returns. Haven't tried drugs but have invested in some heavy duty under eye cream. Don't waste your money on it, all it did was discolor my face and made me look kind of green around the eyes. LOL

I love this site and all the sharing we do. I got a good laugh from the "widda sex" comment. I haven't had the energy to try it yet but I'll keep it in mind.Like the rest if you here, sleeping has been a bug problem since my spouse died.
The doctor was concerned the 1st time he saw me after Nick died and he insisted on me getting a prescription for valium. That was in May and I still have 10 left.
I have tried Tylenol PM and IF I remember to take it early enough it helps. If I wait until bed time to take it, I usually have a difficult time getting up in the morning;
I have also tried taking a relaxing soak in the tub.... sometimes with a glass of wine. I also read when I get into bed. These things have helped me get a little better sleep once I get to bed.
My main problem is that I just don't get into bed until about 3:00AM. I find all sorts of excuses or last minute "must do" items as soon as I realize it is bed time.
From all of the responses you have received, it looks like sleeplessness is a problem for a large portion of us. Thank you for bring this issue up. And, thank you for all of you who have shared ideas.

I'm in the same boat as most people here, but it's only been a month since Eleanor passed away. I have found that if I take some Tylenol PM about an hour or so before Bedtime it helps me fall asleep, but I still tend to wake up earlier than I wanted to. Hopefully this will get better as time goes by.