Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I am so not with God - how will I ever get there when I am still so bitter towards my husbands sons - and they still are pulling stuff. It so has me worried I can never find forgiveness. What have others done to find how to forgive. Griefshare has sent this...
It says when that person walks in you let love be expressed - SO NOT gonna happen now.....HOW do you do it? I so need to I know before I leave this earth.
Forgiveness Leads to Freedom
Day 107
How do you know if forgiveness has taken place?
"You'll know that you are forgiven if you can let God's love flow through you to that person," says Doug Easterday. "If the person walked in, would you let that love be expressed?
"If you answered no, then forgiveness has not taken place.
"'Well, he or she doesn't deserve it.' Then forgiveness has not fully taken place.
"'Well, I don't know if I can.' Then forgiveness needs to go deeper. Forgiveness is like an onion; there are layers to it. The first layer of an onion is still an onion, but there is more onion underneath. Forgiveness often has layers to it. Forgiveness is not entirely complete until all the layers are gone, and then you can say, 'I can forgive, because I choose to.' When you can let the Lord flow His love through you, then you can say, 'I know that I'm walking right with God in forgiveness.'"
When you have forgiven, you are free and released from self-induced bondage.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).
Father, grant me the ability to forgive and free my heart to love again. Amen.
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Suggested reading from the GriefShare HelpCenter
Recovering from Losses in Life
H. Norman Wright
Life is marked by losses. Some are life changing, such as leaving home, the effects of natural disasters or war, the death of a loved one, or divorce. Others are subtle, like changing jobs, moving, or a broken friendship. But whether you encounter family, personal, or community disaster, there is always potential for change, growth, and new insight.
Writing from his own experience and expertise, certified trauma expert and best-selling author H. Norman Wright shows you how to work through loss and come out a stronger person on the other side. He tackles tough issues like the meaning of grief, blaming God, and learning how to express yourself and share your pain in times of loss. Whether you've gone through a great tragedy or are just trying to deal with the small sorrows in life, this book can help you resist the pull toward despair and start on the road back to joy.
It says when that person walks in you let love be expressed - SO NOT gonna happen now.....HOW do you do it? I so need to I know before I leave this earth.
Forgiveness Leads to Freedom
Day 107
How do you know if forgiveness has taken place?
"You'll know that you are forgiven if you can let God's love flow through you to that person," says Doug Easterday. "If the person walked in, would you let that love be expressed?
"If you answered no, then forgiveness has not taken place.
"'Well, he or she doesn't deserve it.' Then forgiveness has not fully taken place.
"'Well, I don't know if I can.' Then forgiveness needs to go deeper. Forgiveness is like an onion; there are layers to it. The first layer of an onion is still an onion, but there is more onion underneath. Forgiveness often has layers to it. Forgiveness is not entirely complete until all the layers are gone, and then you can say, 'I can forgive, because I choose to.' When you can let the Lord flow His love through you, then you can say, 'I know that I'm walking right with God in forgiveness.'"
When you have forgiven, you are free and released from self-induced bondage.
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14-15).
Father, grant me the ability to forgive and free my heart to love again. Amen.
--------------------------------------------------------
Suggested reading from the GriefShare HelpCenter
Recovering from Losses in Life
H. Norman Wright
Life is marked by losses. Some are life changing, such as leaving home, the effects of natural disasters or war, the death of a loved one, or divorce. Others are subtle, like changing jobs, moving, or a broken friendship. But whether you encounter family, personal, or community disaster, there is always potential for change, growth, and new insight.
Writing from his own experience and expertise, certified trauma expert and best-selling author H. Norman Wright shows you how to work through loss and come out a stronger person on the other side. He tackles tough issues like the meaning of grief, blaming God, and learning how to express yourself and share your pain in times of loss. Whether you've gone through a great tragedy or are just trying to deal with the small sorrows in life, this book can help you resist the pull toward despair and start on the road back to joy.
(1) I forgive the wrongdoing against me and mine and accept that is the way they are; and
(2) I recognize and accept that forgiving them is not the same thing as letting them back into my life to do more damage.
Seeing these things as two different acts made it possible for me to be at peace for the things my sister-in-law did. She will never be allowed into my life again, but I have let her go.
You can also pray for somebody that has wronged you. Pray that God makes them a better person and that they never do to anyone else what they did to you. That helps as well.
If you know a dog bites every time you pet it, you don't keep petting that dog, do you? Forgiveness is not the same thing as accepting evil back into your life. Turn what happens to them over to God and let Him handle it.
My two cents, for what they're worth....
Love and Hugs, Martha