Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I've always believed that life is short so we should cherish our loved ones no matter what. The no matter what is my father. We've never had a good relationship, but over the years, with my refusing to give up on him, we've established a relationship that is closer to what I want. My father is argumentative, so much so that most people find it impossible to have anything to do with him. That being said, I'm in a horrible situation--husband gone and father is 82.
He's independent, works full time, a picture of health, but lately he's been having memory gaps and sleeping behind the wheel of the car. He's refused to retire until now: Because I'm moving back in with him.
Tonight we've had a horrible argument. I've lived with him a few years back as he was recovering from surgery and was living alone. It was during the time my husband and I had remarried. My husband agree to live in the house and it became a nightmare four years later. It ended up with my father telling us to get out. Now, he's all set for me to move back in. I don't need to do it for financial reasons. I prefer to live on my own where I can have some peace and not spend my days arguing. Still, he's a danger on the road and needs to retire.
I don't know what to do.
Tonight the argument stemed from a simple question: are you sure you want me to live there. He started screaming at me, telling me that I was being disrespectful. Telling me how hard he's worked and the sacrifises he's made, etc. It ended up with me screaming back(something I don't normally do). Now, my voice is hoarse and the last thing I want to do is move back in with my father.
I would just give him money to retire, but I don't have that sort of money to maintain two living quarters. God help me this nightmare just keeps getting worse. You'd think with all I've been through since my husband passed(not even a month ago) he'd have the sense not to lay into me like that. But then, that's how he's always been. I can't expect him to change and I don't want to move back and he needs to retire. What a mess. I need lots of prayer.
He's independent, works full time, a picture of health, but lately he's been having memory gaps and sleeping behind the wheel of the car. He's refused to retire until now: Because I'm moving back in with him.
Tonight we've had a horrible argument. I've lived with him a few years back as he was recovering from surgery and was living alone. It was during the time my husband and I had remarried. My husband agree to live in the house and it became a nightmare four years later. It ended up with my father telling us to get out. Now, he's all set for me to move back in. I don't need to do it for financial reasons. I prefer to live on my own where I can have some peace and not spend my days arguing. Still, he's a danger on the road and needs to retire.
I don't know what to do.
Tonight the argument stemed from a simple question: are you sure you want me to live there. He started screaming at me, telling me that I was being disrespectful. Telling me how hard he's worked and the sacrifises he's made, etc. It ended up with me screaming back(something I don't normally do). Now, my voice is hoarse and the last thing I want to do is move back in with my father.
I would just give him money to retire, but I don't have that sort of money to maintain two living quarters. God help me this nightmare just keeps getting worse. You'd think with all I've been through since my husband passed(not even a month ago) he'd have the sense not to lay into me like that. But then, that's how he's always been. I can't expect him to change and I don't want to move back and he needs to retire. What a mess. I need lots of prayer.
Lininsocal
I am reading the replys to this post over again. I so wish I had had the opportunity to consult opinions before I allowed my grandson to move in my home. I would not have allowed it, it is one of the biggest regrets in my life. Now it is almost impossible to move him back with his parents at this time. A grandson who was once the apple of my eye and my love is now one I am growing to loathe. The advise you are getting here is from experience. Until you move you have options once you move you remove those options and out becomes a distant frustrating word.
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