Endless phases. Yours is normal for everyone. I am sure you have family and friends that want and need you. But it is not the same as a spouse or partner. Another " just the way it is". Reaching out to others can help fill the void some what.

Peace Bob

I have my kids and all kids take mom for granted. Then there is my dad. I love him dearly but I am feeling taken advantage of. I let him take my Jeep when he had issues with the tropical storm. He had to leave his house for a while and I also ended up with his dog since he couldn't take her to a hotel and leave her there all day while he was at work. I still do not have my Jeep back and I still have his dog. Now his plan is to drive here for Thanksgiving and stay through Sunday and have me take him back to VT. How nice he thinks I have all that free time.

Maggie

Sometimes I feel the only thing that needs me is my 2 dogs and cat and that the animals are the only living thing that would miss me if I were not around. I do have grown children but they are busy with their own lives and Mom is not a priority. I have been widowed for 3 years 4 months and have pretty much felt this way since my husband passed away. Barbara

Absolutely. I went from being on the move 24/7 with Bob being so sick to having no responsibilities besides work. I found it devastating and hurtful.

I think that is why I took on those 4 week old kittens. They needed me. Now they own me at almost 4 months!

My nephew is great but he has his own life. It is the dog and kitties that I look forward to seeing at night I guess that is a little pathetic but it works for me.

As for cooking, fixing up the house, I have not had any real desire to do anything but it is starting to come back.

Grace

Yea, believe me, any grief disorder you wanna know about, I have it. My wife made me feel useful, whole, important. Now I feel like a piece of baggage in this crappy world, which I no longer want to be a part of. Oh, you want to know how I deal with it, right? Well here goes..........I deal with it by feeling like useless baggage in this crappy world. Nothing interests me, nothing excites me, nothing matters. I just don't care anymore. So that's it, not very helpful I know, but it's all I can give on this one................Sal.

I just feel out of place. Needed? Well my girls are always so busy and one travels the world for her job so I don't get to see them as much as I would like. Needed is not the word I would use. For me I would say out of place.

I am wanted and needed, but I sure miss unconditional Love! A few mo. ago I was in the hospital 2 days, and my kids did not figure it out! As for eating, our diet sounds pretty close, I too loved to cook, but my heart just isnt into it any more. I too hope it is a phase, cause I could use a good pot roast - soon! G-

25 months for me and yes most definite.... not so much wanted or needed, more like God what is my purpose on this earth now that
my journey through life has changed ? What's next ,
I have decided I am going to try to start a Grief Community Center in Phoenix a non profit center offering support groups , art therapy, classes, seminars , yoga , meditation, I have a dream and a vision just need to figure out where to start and get a village to help me .... In my opinion we all have something to offer someone else and if we seek we will find... prayers and hugs to you as we both continue this journey Tracy

Sometimes I feel like Sal in that nothing much matters anymore and sometimes I feel like I'm a strong person and a survivor. I had my lowest of lows when I found myself with no one to take care of after my husband passed away and I felt like no one needed me. I then started volunteering at a couple of places in my community and that has made me feel needed again. I have wonderful kids and beautiful grandchildren but they are all busy with their lives...I'm not working right now (looking for a job) so this volunteering has definitely helped me. I've got some new reasons to get up in the morning. Hope you get over this hump! Hugs, S.

Needed and wanted. Boy what a thought and great question!

I, from young was always needed for this or that. My dad was mentally ill for many years, and I was needed as a sounding board, wanna be psycologist, and confidant. after he passed, my mom had been physicaly ill, and I was needed to give her a loving place to saty, help her through her grief over my dad, and be there for her both physically, and mentally. I met Greg, fell in love with him, and for the first time really felt 'wanted". as well as after he became ill needed.

Both Greg and my mom passed two months of each other this year. My kids are pretty much grown, and the occasional needing still takes place. They now need me to be there for them when they want to talk. and for my stepsons who need that link to their dad. I guess it's all in how you look at it? It's the feeling 'wanted' that gets to me. I KNOW my kids still need their mom, and I am HAPPY to be there for them, but that someone really WANTING YOU to be there? that's the thing i think we all miss. at least it's like that for me. some of us had to be 24 hr caregivers and it consumed our days and nights. We lose the battle we are trying so hard to fight, and then suddenly there's nothing to do. No appointments. No meds. No having to outthink the un thinkable no racing minds on just what will work to save them. there is silence, and it is deafening!

I too, love to cook, and bake. It's always been a passion, and i am getting back to it slowly. I know my kids love the food, and I'm happy to cook for them. what I miss is that one person who would say to "You are OUTSTANDING". Dinner was "OUTSTANDING' I APPRECIATE WHAT YOU DO SO MUCH!

WOW I really MISS that!

Now, I try to reach out more than to be needed. I need now, to help in anyway I can to someone else. I'm hoping that by doing that, I can fill some of that void left by that not needed feeling. Hope it works, and hope we all can get to feel NEEDED AND WANTED again!

HUGS To all, and I need you ALL in my life!! :-)

Diane

I don't have much light to shed on this one. I was just thinking, what could I do to feel important to someone? I have two great stepchildren but they are very busy with jobs and kids, a FIL who is in his nineties and I check on him, sometimes clean for him or do errands when needed but other than that - nada. I wish those of you who loved to cook and bake lived near me. Then you could cook for me because I'm pretty bad at it! I'm really tired of my own cooking. Maybe we should look for volunteer work. I can teach reading, Spanish and a little French, but I've taught all my life and still do 2 days a week and I get a little tired of it. I do find things that are fun to do on the weekends and generally take my sister or a friend - but that feeling needed is really missing in my life too.