She is part of every every day. "The two will become one" is very true and you who you are today. Learning that person you are together is grown throughout your marriage. You aren't the person you were with her, but you are here to grow even more. God will direct your path still whether it's to share with another or not and she will be part of that always. Sharon

Moving forward doesn't mean walking away. Linda and I were together for twenty one years. We were one. God made us one. But we also have an individual relationship with God just between each person and Him. And so we all have our time when He will call us back home to Him. I learned so much from my marriage with Linda that has made me a better man and person in general because of being blessed with her. And I will live the rest of this life to the fullest in honor of her. If I marry again I will be a better husband than before because of what she taught me. And God will make me one with that person if it is His will. And I will learn from them also. But we are all individuals made uniquely by Him for a purpose. And in the end we will all be reunited with our loved ones in paradise for eternity. In my heart there is a compartment. And in there will be locked away my memories of my marriage and the life I had with Linda for all those years. The rest of my heart God willing will be given to the new lady He brings to me. And He will be center of that marriage.
So don't look at moving forward as walking away but rather moving forward and building a new life Christ centered and keeping your wife's memory alive in that little compartment in your heart. She will always be with you but it doesn't mean you can't love again or you have to pretend she never existed. It's how you learn to live with what happened and not try to get over it as they say.
Please take care.
Peace, Tim

At this time, to even think you can move forward...you will, when it's time...but you never walk away. The life you shared as one became a huge part of who you are today. Part of Go

At this time, to even think you can move forward.seems totally unthinkable. God's direction and will for your life becomes clearer, as time goes by. We never "walk away."......The life you shared as one became a huge part of who you are, today. God's plan of healing our broken heart is integrating all the desired influences, of Your precious wife, Virginia. Into your heart. You will know, when it's time to move forward. As a man, of Strong faith, you already know, God's timing is perfect..
Your love never dies.
Take care......Sandra

Hi there,
I
I believe in God's word, it states, when a spouse dies, we become free again to marry. If we have accepted Salvation with repentance of sin.....when we get to Heaven, there is no marriage.......I will check all the Scriptures and post them, here.
Sandra

Your question ' are we no longer considered, one in God's eyes," .....when we were married 2 became one flesh..each having a separate soul...so it seems we wouldn't be married because our flesh dies...Genesis 2:24...Mathew 19:5-6
We know we, will definately be reunited with our loved ones in Heaven, I'm wondering if we will still be man and wife. My thinking is No, because we are separate souls and spirits...but one flesh. Flesh dies...our spirits live on.....
Can anyone add to this.....an amazingly profound question for us, as believers.

All I know is that my spirit, my heart has many dimensions and many rooms. My Donald is forever in my heart and that will never change. Even the two I divorced long ago have a place in my heart. I know I have much capacity to love and love is limitless. Love is eternal, love never dies. I also know that no one will be like my Donald and I would not want them to be. I want to celebrate the uniqueness of each person who comes into my life and I want to do this with all my heart. I believe that the universe leads us to the right person, right relationship at the right time, we only have to accept with an open heart.

As others have said I believe you never walk away because they are a part of you and you are a part of them. we do become one in marriage and that doesn't just change because they have passed. I remember the day my wife passed I told those closest to me that literally half of me died that day, In every sense of the word that is how it felt with the only difference being I was still walking this earth. After I grieved for a long time I did reach a point where I was willing to surrender my wife to God. How could I deny her such a incredible experience if I truly loved her. Some call it acceptance and I will call it the same. Not acceptance of her death per see but rather Gods will. Seeing your spouse in heaven is another interesting aspect. No I don't believe we be married in heaven because there is no need for marriage. I do believe however we will be reunited. I will share a very peronal story with you. Several months after my wife passed my daughter had a very vivid dream in which I died. As she told me about it the next day she said my last words were "sweetheart I am coming'. I carry that dream very close to my heart. as thers have said you can move forward without walking away. You carry that love and all the beautiful memories it created with you regardless your journey in life. Thank you for such a thought provoking post.

You walk with god, and your sweet wife will always be your wife, just not in the physical sense. For a long time, I wondered if when I die, I will see him, will he remember I was his wife... I pray for comfort for you during this time. There is no right or wrong, or specific time frame. Take one minute at a time, and gentle to yourself. Much love and gentle hugs carla

What is going to happen with the long-time friendships we have built over many years of living in one place, going to one church, and raising our children with their children. People always say what they think you want to hear, "Call if you need anything, really, but most of those people never call to check on you. I have some close friends who check on me regular, but it's mostly the guys. It used to be us as couples, now it feels like its just us guys. I feel like I woke up one morning and my previous life is gone, and my future life is a black hole, and there is nothing that I can count on anymore. What does life look like going forward from here. I miss my wife terribly, I hate being alone, I hate the grief. I am at peace with Virginia being with the Lord, and I am not too concerned about whether or not we are married in heaven, I know we will both be at peace in God's presence, but I am at conflict with how I am supposed to approach today...where do I fit in?

Well Rvckc2, there is a saying here on DS that you will see time and again, that grief rewrites your address book. Some friends will disappear, some will become dearer, and there will be new ones.
Many people don't know what to say or do to comfort you. Death often makes people feel uncomfortable and they're not sure how to handle it or what they can do for you. I found that I often had to be the first one to reach out. I found that I could not talk in depth of my grief or others became uncomfortable and avoided me. So I have kept my deepest expressions of grief here on DS and keep it much lighter with family and long time friends. Most of my new friends are also widow/ widowers and I can share with them as they share with me.
Take each day one at a time. At first you will reflect on and relive the past with much emotion. As time passes you will begin to incorporate thoughts about today and then tomorrow. You may begin new hobbies or pick up on an old one. Seek out those things that have brought you peace and fulfillment. Gardening? Fishing? Hiking? Building or refurbishing something? Working?
You will find a new path, one that honors the past and allows you to move forward into tomorrow.

Thank you for the replies. Thank you for the perspective. I can see the value of expressing deeper thoughts here on DS, and being more selective elsewhere. I do fairly well suppressing my thoughts around others; however, being alone is a different story. I feel alone all the time, regardless of who is in the room. In every setting I see her, or reflect on her in the past. Her absence is overwhelming to me, and while I understand others not realizing the same depth of loss as I do, it is difficult to accept that they don't.

Often I kept hearing the same thing from folks in the beginning. You start to develop a new address book. I have to say it's pretty much true. You have to rebuild a new life with new friends. The old ones aren't around much and those who are feel so awkward they stay away for fear of saying something wrong. So it's easier to find new ones and start over. I really stayed angry often over the fact that I constantly heard hey let us know if you need anything as they were leaving. Like you wrote never to call back to follow up. So I never asked. God is all I needed daily anyway. One year later and I'm good. I have accepted where my wife is and like you would not wish her back to this if I could. But the one thing you have to find a way of doing is, learning how to live with it not get over it. This isn't something you get over. But you can get perspective and move forward learning how to navigate in what they call this new norm. And that's what it is a new norm for us all. Totally different from the life we had. I truly feel God wishes for us all to learn to live in a new life. Not give up and give in. His will for His children is to find peace and happiness and He will show you how just ask. First always follow Him and seek out HIs will for you. The Bible tells us that what we have gone thru is normal to all and that He will never leave us or forsake us and will always show us a way thru. It just takes time. It will get better. Just don't rush yourself and stay in your faith.
Take care.
Peace, Tim

my book has been rewritten, sadly it doesnt include those who we thought loved us he most.. family, and the ones who supposedly called us friends... Time does help us establish new friends, those for whom we may become closer friend with, because of our sometimes common denominator "death" regardless, if it is a spouse, family, or friend.. the times that bind us.. Just remember, when one door shuts another one opens. blessings, and gentle hugs carla

I have today taken time to read all of the posts / comments above. Once again, thanks to all of you, I am continuing to learn as well as find ways to deal with the loss of my wife slightly over one year ago. I am still sorting through all of the scriptures and looking for answers to various questions. However, what I do not question is my faith in God and my belief I shall see my wife again.

Blessings to all -

Darrell