Sharon living with PTSD , I have to treat my ability to connect like a bank. In the same way as I do my physical challenges. Taking special care of both to be strong. You have had a lot going on, and maybe emotionally spent may describe it. But maybe time to recharge? God/ Creator made us human, not invincible. So if you need some self care, take it.
Hugs Jewell

"Now, I have everything to be grateful for and it doesn't seem to matter." It's usually when we feel this safe that we crash from all the withheld tension. It's why extreme trauma or long term stress will hold off reactions until our brain is safe enough to process it. It's the way were made.

You are a Christian living in a fallen creation. There are reasons all around that can depress us. We are not of this world. We long for the eternal peace that only can be found in the kingdom of our Father. Jesus was depressed at various times over the condition of the world and the fact that His children took so long to get the message He had brought them. He didn't stay that way but was moved by what He saw around Him. So as a Christian we can get temporarily depressed over things we are exposed to and experience. But you have to be careful that there aren't medical reasons that need attention.
Take care.
Peace, Tim

Sometimes medications can effect you this way. Check on those. Check out over the counter meds and supplements. When you take a tripe do you start feeling better? If so, there maybe something in your house. Furniture, carpet, you name it. All do off-gasing. You can't see or smell it but it can effect you. Is there plenty of sunlight in your home? Oh and that reminds me that my dad was depressed and his vitamin D and B12 levels were too low. Seniors often need to supplement with vitamin D.
Sharon what I am saying is don't blame your mental outlook. If therapy is not working then something in your environment or a lack of is creating this problem. Leave no stone unturned.

Trip not tripe...

Sharon - Please be encouraged to know that God is in control, and not even depression can separate us from Him if we keep our eyes focused on Jesus. He, not us, is the author and perfecter of our faith. My only expertise comes from personal experience, but I can tell you that depression is an illness. It can be mild and sporadic like a cold, or deep and constant like cancer. It has many causes that are difficult to figure out, which is a good reason for doctors, and Christian counselors. Sickness is a condition of this world (which we as Christians live in until our appointed time), it is not a barometer of faith. In fact, the apostle Paul clearly had some sickness or deformity that caused Him to seriously seek healing three times. According to Paul, God's answer was that His grace was sufficient. Clearly Paul had something, and clearly God determined that He would not take it away. It is worth considering that whatever it was God knew it was causing Paul to seek Him more intensely. I am not saying God will not heal your depression, we know He can, and I pray He does. I am saying that according to Genesis 50:20 – what is meant for evil, if given to God, becomes eventual good. Therefore, give your depression to God, and like Paul, it will cause you to grow nearer to Him. Continue to seek medical help (because that is just the smart thing to do), and dig deep during this time.

Go figure Sharon. Somethings we just don't know. How can a faith healer that God had to cure many of diseases die of cancer? How can her husband left behind fall into such a deep depression that he didn't care whether he lived or died? We live in a spiritual battlefield, and it seems the attacks are most vicious on those that are making a difference in the lives of others. His arms are still around you Sharon, you are just can't see that right now. We are all His children and it is He that is our Deliverer. God bless and comfort us all! Scottie

Thank you all for support and encouragement . I accepted Christ as my personal savior back in the '80s. I have depended on Him from that point forward
This is a new experience for me and as I often do I blame myself. Your words are just what I need to hear. Thanks again.

I had an adrenal saliva test that showed my cortisol was way too high and other things out of whack. I am seeing a Naturopathic doctor who also works with a normal doctor. I agree with onebrokenheart: "leave no stone unturned". ((Hugs))

Sharon my dear friend first of all I want to send you a big Canadian hug. You have approached a topic I have a lot of professional and personal experience with. Clinical depression runs rampant within my family. I have watched loved ones wrestle with this monster for many many years. First I want to say you have 2 very powerful coping skills in dealing with the depression. One you believe and trust in God and two you have a competent counsellor in which you have a rapport. The reality is there are many theories about depression but it is highly misunderstood disorder. Your depression is not a reflection of your faith in any way but rather one of the challenges you are dealing with while on this earth. Your faith can be used as a tool to cope but very much like grief it is a process that must be worked through. The depression is often not a reflection of what is going on around you ie; husband, finances, lifestyle but the emotions that are being felt in your heart and soul. Self care is of utmost importance in dealing with depression. Do things that give you join and peace ie as simple as a prayer or nature walk. A sister I am very close to suffers from clinical depression and I have told her many times it doesn't define who you are it is a small part of the very special person you are. Some of had postivie results with medication but many suffer horrible side effects so that road I would take with extreme caution and listen to what your body and heart are telling you. People that suffer from depression are in the millions. You are not alone. Keep in mind also our thoughts tend to lie to us when in a depressed state. They gravitate toward the negative and make things larger than they are. Dear friend nuture yourself, pray and like grief acknowledge and respect the feelings. Being depressed doesn't make you weak it makes you human. I have watched our loving God carry me through some very dark times without me even realizing it. He will carry you also when necessary. I know that with a absolute fact. I like the rest here are ready to walk with you. God bless. Gerry

Sharon, I suffer from ptsd...I know all too well what it must feel like..some days it's like riding a roller coaster.my thoughts and prayers are with you always...love and hugs carla

Sharon, I'm so sorry. I'll send up prayers for you to feel better. Be kind to yourself. Try to get out as much as possible. Perhaps the medication need adjusting. Know that everyone here cares and will continue to care. Ask God's help through prayer each morning. Hugs and Love, Dolores

Thanks for your continued support. I have a great deal on my plate right now and haven't found a viable solution for it. It's complicated and personal. Some decisions are very hard to make. Your continued support is the best. Sharon

Sending Love and Hugs, Dolores

Dearest Sharon,
Sending you love, depression can easily set in when we are going through so, many trials....it's always best to get a good check up, to rule out any physical causes. Please know you are in my prayers, clinical depression may need medication. You know, The Lord is holding you in His grip, right now.
Much love, peace and Hope, To you dear Sharon..........Sandra