Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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JohnnyFC 08/14/2013

I've reconnected with my exP. I know, I know. I couldn't help my self. We're going to spend the day together on Sunday. Right now I feel so calm knowing that I'm going to see him. I know who he is and I'm still going to meet him. Im a true addicted fool. Since this forum is a place for learning i thought I would let everybody know and will keep you posted on the outcome. Already he is playing games. I asked him to call me and he replied that he would call in a "bit". After waiting two hours i sent him a text again. he replied "I'm on a teleconference meeting" After that we had a few pleasant texts and ended our text conversation for the day.
Here is a poem im working on, sick:

Please, Please fix my heart,
Its been ripped apart, all apart
Please, Please, Please fix my heart,
I don't know how to heal,
you hold the cards
heal me, please heal me
i loved you so hard,
very hard, much too hard
now i want your evil lies,
your lies fill my heart.
I had so much hope,
my dreams were washed away,
fade to grey,
Fill them again with your lies,
the evil colorful lies i crave,
make me feel that true love of yours,
fake love that is real for sure,
the lies love made,
heal me, heal me
whatever it takes to keep you close
i want you, i love you,
i want your hungry soulless ghost
Pretend crazy love.
It's pretend crazy love.
You never blink,
I know that stare,
I look away,
I'm convinced you care,
Heal me, fix me with your lies.
true lies are what i believe.
fix me with your lies.

bellanomore 08/15/2013

johnny , the outcome is always the same. I hope you know that, I think you do by now. I hope you make it back.

deleted_user 08/15/2013

I am sorry to hear you have gone back, Johnny, but its true we do have to learn the hard way. Most of us have gone back many times, I have too, but sadly we come on back here with the same outcome. I hope you will be back safe and not too hurt. Protect you feelings as much as you can.

deleted_user 08/15/2013

I understand where you are at....I went back MANY MANY times in 4.5 years.....You won't be done until your heart and the mind can reach an agreement ....be safe !!! Here for you !

JohnnyFC 08/17/2013

Thanks everybody. I'm not expecting too much. I'm sure he'll be on his best behavior, thats how it starts right? I'm hoping after this meeting I can move on. So many loose ends. I at least want to be on friendly terms. I haven't been to a shopping center in 5 months because i fear i'll run into him. My social media connections are down to a minimum and definitely no craigslist. Best case scenario - He's put on a ton of weight, let his teeth go, and become a complete bore lol. We'll see. Ever since i set up this meeting my mind has been at ease, he's not in my head 24/7.

escapefor1 08/17/2013

Johnny,

I left a note for you on the "Still stunned" thread about your meeting with your P guy on Sunday. Check it out if you want.

onthemend101 08/17/2013

Johnny, I so know where you are at. It's so hard to break free. They suck burnt monkey a$$.
((hugs to you!))

JohnnyFC 08/20/2013

On Saturday i was hoping he would cancel. I sent him a text and he indicated he would meet me on sunday as planned. I wasn't nervous al all. We met up, a little awkward, had some nice conversations, watched some TV, some light intimacy , ate, and he went home. I did ask him if he missed me. He said "I think about you". I didn't push it any further. He was on his best behavior. He did tell me his band broke up (I wasn't surprised). So really not much to report. He sent me a few nice text on Monday. I hope I can finally walk away and move on. He did look very well, healthy, and fit. Damn!! lol .

deleted_user 08/20/2013

Glad you are back safe Johnny! Back to the real world!!! :) Try not to play with fire, how does that saying go?? LOL!!

onthemend101 08/20/2013

Johnny, I think when it's time to leave we just know it. I hope that happens for you soon. I started my (hopefully last) break from my xN this week, by texting him that I know he's on online dating sites while he's trying to seduce me (we're supposed to just be friends this round) and that I didn't appreciate it.. and he responded with a nasty text saying I am mean. (?? nothing in my text was mean at all) I waited two days to see if he'd get off the dating sites or respond in any normal way, like to apologize for calling me mean after he calmed down, and nothing changed, so I sent him a good bye text last night and am getting myself in the right mind set to block him from my phone (that's our only avenue of communication other than in person).

Glad you didn't sleep with him, Johnny! Please be careful bcz like Neive says, you are playing with fire...

deleted_user 08/20/2013

Good nothing hurtful (from him ) happened and that you are safe back. I hope you continue protect yourself though and not let him get to you in any way.

escapefor1 08/20/2013

I don't think I'd be ready to forget if he did not say anything about what happened before, but just went on as if it never happened. It sounds like maybe he would see this as you agreeing to those conditions if you don't say anything and you give in to him and continue to see him without addressing any new rules.

deleted_user 08/21/2013

I agree with escape, he might think like that, that all is ok as long as nothing is being said. Its very common for the S/P to do this. Long time ago my exS contacted me like he had done nothing asking for a favor. But I confronted him how could he just call for a favor like nothing. Their mind is absolutely so alien. They think they have done nothing wrong or they know they have done hurtful cruel things, but they want to continue like nothing if they get the chance to pass us with it. I did let my exS cruel behavior pass for several times untilll I finally had enough of being treated like dirt and told him after his last abuse that he treated me horrible. I finally said the truth.

JohnnyFC 08/24/2013

Okay I saw him a second time on Thursday. Had dinner, watched some TV. He's very entertaining. I'm listening to every word. He already is slipping up with his lies, silly insignificant lies. The next day he is texting me "I love you" and more. I've set some rules for myself: I never text him first, I never ask what he is up too, I never ask what he did, I never go on social media. So right now Im in a good place. I get a little crazy companionship without going crazy myself. Fun right now. If we get intimate its definitely going to be with protection.

manyriverstocross 08/24/2013

A psychopath will not grant you closure .. you put yourself back on the back burner when you re-coonect with these creatures. You can never be friends because they need to control and therefore will be forever pushing your boundaries. I made the mistake of trying to remain 'friends' and the result was a potentially life threatening situation. It burst the bubble for me and I had to find out the hard way .. these people are toxic and do not deserve one mili-second of our time.

I'm glad that you seem to have gained some resolution from your meeting, I hope for your sanity that it does not backfire in your face.

deleted_user 08/24/2013

I hope you protect yourself and chose not be intimate with him because I am afraid you will get hurt again. If he already is slipping up with his lies thats a bad sign he hasnt change. And it can trap you emotionally over time thinking you feel in control not texting him first and so on..because even you feel in control now it probably will change with once he think he can hook you back. Its the traumatic bond we feel. Its very hard to break from. I remember I did agree to be with intimate with my exS again and he hurt me over and over and last time he couldnt have hurt me more than he did as he just days earlier had said he really loved me, I gave in to him and the next week he came here and ate the food, called me crazy needing doctor and then he walked out on me. Telling me before he walked out that maybe we are both crazy and its good not marry. Not one "I am sorry" from him or anything. I am afraid you will get hurt if you sleep with him again. I hope not. Just remember who he is and protect yourself as much as you can.

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