I've reconnected with my exP. I know, I know. I couldn't help my self. We're going to spend the day together on Sunday. Right now I feel so calm knowing that I'm going to see him. I know who he is and I'm still going to meet him. Im a true addicted fool. Since this forum is a place for learning i thought I would let everybody know and will keep you posted on the outcome. Already he is playing games. I asked him to call me and he replied that he would call in a "bit". After waiting two hours i sent him a text again. he replied "I'm on a teleconference meeting" After that we had a few pleasant texts and ended our text conversation for the day.
Here is a poem im working on, sick:

Please, Please fix my heart,
Its been ripped apart, all apart
Please, Please, Please fix my heart,
I don't know how to heal,
you hold the cards
heal me, please heal me
i loved you so hard,
very hard, much too hard
now i want your evil lies,
your lies fill my heart.
I had so much hope,
my dreams were washed away,
fade to grey,
Fill them again with your lies,
the evil colorful lies i crave,
make me feel that true love of yours,
fake love that is real for sure,
the lies love made,
heal me, heal me
whatever it takes to keep you close
i want you, i love you,
i want your hungry soulless ghost
Pretend crazy love.
It's pretend crazy love.
You never blink,
I know that stare,
I look away,
I'm convinced you care,
Heal me, fix me with your lies.
true lies are what i believe.
fix me with your lies.