Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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SonoMahi 07/15/2013

My psychopath tried to contact me for a month after I left him, I did not respond at all, then he moved his a** and found and new girl and got engaged within 2 months (our relation lasted 6 years).
I tried to be with him again as I could not live without him ( such a typical victim behavior). I left him within a month as he was again lying and trying to use me and at the same time trying to kill my self esteem by telling me I was getting old, my feet were not pretty anymore etc etc. He didnt try to contact me after that, it has been months.
I guess thats how psychopaths are, they keep you in their magnificent castle of lies and then leave as if you didnt even exist, while you try to heal and pick yourself up with whatever strength you are left with while they have the fun time of their life.
It gets me furious at times, the man who was after me for years, didnt let me settle down, disgraced me by sending anonymous abusive letters to my colleagues for 6 months after my marriage and denying them later, ruined my marital life, who used me physically and mentally, telling me I am his goddess blah blah, when I finally leave him while still loving him but knowing that I cant trust him. he gets a new girl and gets engaged within 2 months and leaves me as if I did not even happen.
For me the painful part is that the man who did so much to me, is now enjoying his life with a new girl while I am all shattered, still trying to understand what happened and working so hard to heal while this man is enjoying the best time of his life. Why???

deleted_user 07/15/2013

Im sorry your feeling like this, I know how it feels as I've been there myself but it does get easier and let me tell you, they can never be happy. Its all an illusion, just like everything else they play out. Its not real because nothing is ever good enough for them, they always want the next best thing. Be thankful you got away because your pain will subside and it wont be long before his next victim suffers. He will soon start finding fault with her and picking holes in her to de-value her just the same as you. Keep looking to the future and not in the past .....

SonoMahi 07/15/2013

Thanx. I wish there was some magic to help you erase your unwanted memories. I am healing but there are some BAD days. And today is one
At times I imagine myself telling the woman about what he was doing behind his back. I wont do that.
I wish I could see him suffer just like he made me suffer.

SonoMahi 07/15/2013

And today I feel that the he won and I lost. Among the other things I lost the most important is MYSELF, my old good peaceful happy self

JohnnyFC 07/15/2013

Its crazy isn't it. You dump your love and he doesn't even try to reconcile. They just move on to the next victim. Not even a courtesy "Please forgive me". Its like you never were in this emotionally charged love affair. They just walk away. Its been about 5 months for me and I'm feeling much better. It takes awhile to get over a psychopath love affair. I never felt so much love in my whole life. If i could only ignore the deceit, manipulation, lies, cheating, and eventually stealing, I would still be with him. Get gone psychopath:).
You'll feel better in time and you've learned what to avoid in the future.

deleted_user 07/15/2013

Its evil. I can so relate, they walk out of your life like you didnt have anything together with them. No reconciliation, no sorry for what they did, they just move on. They try to look like they do fine, but their life is a misery, they will not be happy with another person, all other people are just objects to them, no bonding emotionally. All the lies, manipulation, put downs, blackmails I did go through with my psychopath, I no more will be a fool for him and give him any chances, thank God for that. I feel better, its been 6 weeks now since he walked out after abusing me, like nothing. By time you will feel better, but it takes time.

aagardfamily 07/15/2013

3 years crazy free. I have kids with my ex so 100% NC for me isn't feasible, but low contact and educating myself about these PDs has been literally a life-saver. It does get better. Just get your word vomit out on here or wherever you can. It's exactly like kicking an addiction... NO CONTACT. No FB stalking. No responding even to the most innocent messages or texts. You're going through the stages of grief.......... but if you fall back into regular contact, you'll have to start all over again (but don't beat yourself up if you slip).

As Dory says, "Just keep swimming.... just keep swimming..."

SonoMahi 07/16/2013

At times I wonder if this new lady will really get his love or she is also just an object but then I think that if he could talk to me and meet me behind her back, she also doesnt have any good chances of a happy life with him.
I wish I could tell her what he was doing behind her back

johnnycake 07/16/2013

I can tell by the detached tone of musing that you are well down the road to healing. I'm sorry that you are still hurting and understand your desire to foil the XN, but working to that end would make you more like him, and less like yourself. The less time you spend thinking about the XN the sooner it will all be behind you, and the happier you will be. You must focus and direct your energy toward achieving your own life and dreams, rather than on trying to fix it for anyone else.

johnnycake 07/16/2013

P.S. The reason that you are struggling and he isn't is that your reality was destroyed by your relationship with an N, while his was not much changed in the process.

deleted_user 07/16/2013

She wont be taken care of, SonoMahi, sooner or later he will treat her the same, rinse and repeat.

deleted_user 07/16/2013

With every break up my s had a new girlfriend or internet girl within weeks. It is very difficult to for us to except. Our love is real,there's is not. When we no longer except their behaviors,they need to find someone who will. They need the to feel important

Gigi0007 07/16/2013

I think you may be letting your mind play tricks on you.lt will be the same with her.mine had a tresspass warrant from every girlfriend in the,past..aggravated assualt and,now a drug charge hes running same,game

SonoMahi 07/17/2013

Thankyou everyone, each one of you has helped me feel better and given me strength.

Gigi0007 07/17/2013

I have felt the same way..l think every time a relationship ended l thought the same and its never been the case.one lost his house another his business another went to jail.Latest has a felony drug charge will probobly end up in jail..l had to move three times since the last ended..also they try to make you feel bad thats there game

deleted_user 07/21/2013

I feel you....hang in there and know that you are NOT alone. This man that you speak of will do the same thing to his next 'victim' and his next and his next.....as he did to you. Be happy/grateful/glad....that you got away !!! EMOTIONAL VAMPIRES !!! He doesn't love this new victim any more than he loved you...he has to have a victim to feed off of to survive in his dark empty world....

.....try to understand what makes the beast tick....it will help you to heal.

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