Recently when exchanging the children with my S, he looked me straight in the eye and said "everything out o your mouth is a lie, everything". Now there was no audience there and clearly me of all people know what a monster he is, yet he said it. With conviction. It was the scariest thing I have seen.

I think we are trying to rationalize the irrational. It is something I have long since given up on trying to do :(

And in regard to Hitler, I read a quote from him, it said, "Make the lie big, make it simple, keep saying it and eventually they will believe it". My vote is he is narcissistic sociopathic psychopath. lol, is that even a diagnosis? Anyway, you get my point.

dont forget hitler also before killing himself shot his dog and killed it with his own hands.

one of my therapist told me with a sociopath, when they go down they take the ship down with them. or in this case, their dog.

aspen, i will always have that little place in my heart that doubts what was real and what wasnt but the end result has been i know i belong here and so do you. i feel that what we all have been through that brought us to this site is enough said. we didnt just happen by here on a whim. im still coming out of the fog so to say at times on why this happened in my life but i know that there are reasons for everything and i will just keep searching for the peace i need to feel in my heart and will find one day. im getting there slowly. i know for a fact i am still " in love " with the idea of who i thought this person was but i also now understand it is not what is real or the truth. i think that is the hardest part to get to but it comes when the time is meant to. theres even a part of me that is greatful for this because it is opening my eyes to other aspects of my life and causing me to take a very good look around me. you are almost forced to open your eyes and see things for what they are but i think its very natural to fall back into oblivion now and again and wish that it could have been. being the compassionaite souls we are.... you belong here.

Aspin, in all me relationships I have never once thought of coming to a sociopath victim website. And I have had some real dumb selfish relationships. I agree with Bella, there is a reason you are here. If your S is one or not, you are here for a real concern. Forget the labels and see its unhealthy. It is very hard to leave a situation like that but it doesnt get better until you do. And if you know about my circumstances, it is VERY hard for me to say that. But it is true. It is just SO LONG to see the light. But that may be because we never took the time it takes to wait for the right partner. I dont know, I do agree with Bella, it is bitter sweet. Bitter to deal with but the transformation in ourselves is so very sweet. This will make you extremely bitter or extremely compassionate. Choose love not fear. Love is kind, fear is a liar. :)

couldnt have said it better, wow youve come a long way quickly girl !! good job

Honestly, I think that they can believe their own lies.

But you shouldn't query that or make excuses for it. As a liar is a liar. And lies are never ever acceptable.

That is why a sociopath AlWAYS has to move onto someone new. People see through the lies. And they have to move on.

It is sad. but true. Because they feel more comfortable telling lies than they do telling the truth. You know how you feel bad if you tell a lie, that uncomfortable feeling? Well a sociopath is reverse, he feels more uncomfortable telling a truth. because a truth shows who he really is. And they like to live behind the mask behind deception, it just feels more comfortable to them this way., It is how they function.

To the rest of us it is abhorent, and they will constantly have to move on as they face rejection, as nobody likes being lied to. And liars will ALWAYS be found out -eventually. Always.

But really -its not your problem. It cant be fixed. Its just the way that it is.

Maybe the gain was you not really knowing who she was?

I cant renember much of the details of your previous posts about the person you mention.

Only part i can recall clearly is that she told you she was once a vampire lol.

Im just wondering how she viewed you Aspin. I mean 99.9% of people would not believe something like that, so what was her reasoning for saying it? Im just wondering whether she wanted you to think she was crazy or something else? You said that she mention she has Aspergers after you mention you had Aspergers.....is she taunting you?

That's a very god question, November, and one I've pondered often.

I think its like this: she seems to got through phases--2 months after I told her may have AS she was claiming it and that she had had it for a long time. When I mentioned I might have it, all she said was "yeah...", and she also never wrote or drew anything about it, as she was/is want to do with just about anything that happens in her life or fascinates her.

I think I may have influenced her to read up on it, where she consequently found it cool or fitting of her personality, or a personality she wishes to have. Now, for almost 2 years, she's claimed to have it. She is, however, I believe, moving toward something else, namely "schizotypal". She's saying she's been diagnosed as that for a while, though no mention of it, unless you count the times when she subtly claimed to have full-blown schizophrenia ( I say "subtly" because she never came out and said "I have schizophrenia, rather, she was a part of the groups on an art site, drew pictures of alleged supernatural friends, while adamantly insisting she wasn't schizo, just "gifted").

She's also admitted to jerking around her analysts for fun. It could be bravado, but she doesn't lie all the time, and her lies tend to have some element of truth, even if its infinitesimal. It sounds like the kind of thing this person would do. With this in mind, there's no telling what all diagnoses have been thrown her way...

For a refresher course on...whatever she is, search "Paranormal Activity: The Sociopath Edition", that's where I talk about some of the most salient eccentricities of hers.

Also, she wasn't the vampire, it was someone else in the topic I just saw fit to mention as part of my story/thesis.

Oh, and Schizotypal Personality Disorder excludes the possibility of Asperger's Syndrome. No professional, would ever diagnose the two. Its in the DSM.

I think she sounds like a total fruit bat .. how can you take anything she says with a straight face.

I agree with November on this score, is she mocking you?? ... or even trying to mirror you by saying she is an Aspie?? Either way, you need to stop internalising her behaviour because something I have found with disordered people, there really are no answers to your questions. A normal person will always have reasons and explanations for behaving in an adverse manner, a sociopath just behaves that way and no matter how much you dig and try to uncover there motives, you will find nothing that provides you with the answers you seek. I think it is all part of the madness!

Again, I've wondered, and actually, initially believed that was what she was doing, but why would she do that, seeing as how I evidently mean so little to her?

And yes, I know. I still have things left that are tied to my breakdown that haven't quite been able to get rid of. My therapist tells me it's because I can often become obsessed with things that aren't black-and-white, or don't have a clear-cut answer, on account of my AS, and this person was/is a huge gray area. Add romantic attraction and....yeah.

that's at least one theory as to why I can't forget about her; others include not being able to accept she's not the fantasy girl I had her pegged for, being envious of her (and not enjoying it, either. I'm really not sure about that one, but it seems that way to me) and who knows what else.

I'd like to thank all of you for talking to me about this, it really does help.