I am sorry to hear you are going through so much pain. If he is a S I don't think there is absolutely nothing you could have done different to make him change his ways, I tried everything to make things work with my exS but nothing really worked, he already had an agenda. The more I tried to hold on to him or the idea of him being a good person the more I would end up hurt, in my opinion it is not worth it.

Thank you gorgeouschaos. I know I need to get rid of these obsessive thoughts in my head but it's hard. I am at work right now and this is all I can think of. This site is the only place where I can let out my thoughts.

http://datingasociopath.com/recovery-and-healing-after-dating-a-sociopath/dont-feel-jealous-when-he-moves-onto-someone-new/

I wrote this about how it feels when they are moving onto someone else Betrayed. I hope it helps you!

Thank you for that article, positivagirl. Even though I know he won't change, it takes a lot to drive that in my head. I keep forgetting the sick, twisted person that he is.

there is nothing you could have done differently and remember this is his loss not urs. his new girlfriend is going to get the same treatment if not worse. they don't change or get better with someone new they progressively get worse with each relationship. I think we all go thru this feeling you are experiencing. if only I had done something different he would still be here. its just not so and never will be. they have a disorder and nothing will or can change that fact, you may not see it now but you will see his patterns in the future. they do the same thing over and over like a broken record its like they just cant help it which in turn makes them more angry and cruel to there next source of supply. don't ever think this was because you did something wrong. you didn't, you were spared in a way to know what you know now. keep ur head up this fact will show with time. your so much better off even if you end up alone its better than the chaos and drama these people bring into ur life. hugs to u

Thank you Bella. I really need this kind of reinforcement.

I feel so angry at what he did to me. I wish I can reveal his real self. Does anyone believe the truth will ever come out?

I read this someplace - Its like trying to fix someone that is colorblind, it cant be fixed.

Yes, betrayed. She'll eventually figure out why the relationship did not last between the two of you. Hopefully, she'll make a wise and quick decision before it's too late. Sucks for her! Feel happy that you're not experiencing that pain anymore. You're free! Sooner or later everyone will see him for who he really is.

Oops! Sorry, I just re-read your story, and I missed the part where you're reserved about your personal life.

If know my ex-S, he is probably telling her that I am stalking them. My ex-S and I were seen at the same place by her once. All of a sudden he stood apart from me and walked way ahead in front of me and walked towards her. I believe he told her that I was following him around. He is so scummy.

Betrayed, I know the feeling when you can't keep your mind off him, but the truth is I only started to feel better when I did the effort to focus on me and the things I wanted and made me happy, all of a sudden I wasn't worrying so much about him, I know it doesn't happen in a day but you need to let yourself heal and actually do the effort to focus on yourself more and more everyday.
And yes, I believe the truth always comes out sooner or later, it is not your job to reveal it, it will just happen naturally, don't stress over it and really try to change the way you think about him because he doesn't deserve your time and love but you do deserve to be loved in the same way you were ready to love him :)

I think they are found out by many people but even if he isn't I promise you this much , you will get to a place where you don't really give a damn anymore. the more you realize the fate you have escaped the more you will see it was a divine intervention of the universe!! and you are the lucky one, not only do you get away from this insanity you learn about what I call a secret that not everyone is so lucky to learn in this lifetime. you will be free inside it just takes time girl, let yourself be angry and sad and everything else you feel its a normal response and it will get so much better.....you come out the other side a wiser calmer more intelligent person and best of all you will have your peace, something you cant ever have with these losers. this happened to you for a reason, I really believe that and it will help you more than hurt you down the road a bit. your doing just fine keep going day by day you will see. you know the truth now and that in itself will be enough in time.

That's all true. I have to take this as a really tough learning experience.

It feels like I won't get over him until I meet someone I love and who will love me the same, but it feels so impossible out there.

Betrayed, This was a really great post because I, too, was feeling angry again. I feel your pain and send you hugs. I pray that life will heal with the passing of time. Strength to us all.

Bella- Your words were inspiring. Thank you for sharing them online because they helped me, too!!!! Truth, knowledge, and time.

exactly truth, knowledge and time !!!! its been over a year and I still have my moments where it hurts but I just come here and read and it helps me feel better because I know im not alone in this. I keep trying to get a new life and move on as much as possible, I honestly don't know what would have happened to me if I didn't find this forum. I think I need to thank you for reminding me I am getting somewhere in my healing because its been a very slow process, but its not near as bad as it felt those few months. it really does get to the point where they are not your only thought through out your day and your anger kind of deflates and you realize they weren't who you thought they were and they don't deserve your pain. maybe and I just realized this but I guess the word im looking for is acceptance, the final stage of your healing. when it doesn't hurt as bad as before. I think ive finally reached this stage. wow not that we don't bounce around but its good to know I made it because there was a time I thought I wouldn't. and I thank all of you for that. peace bella