Victims of Psychopaths Community Group

Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.

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Major setback

betrayed912
betrayed912
I have a major setback from my healing. Its been seven months of no contact and hearing nothing about my exS. That helped with my recovery. I was getting better but still missing him. I thought he moved on and left the circle of people we know. Several days ago, I ran into this woman that we both know. Then I found that they are now a couple. This news put me into a devastation.

I know I shouldn't be missing him. He was constantly cheating on me, stealing from me, spreading lies about me, and even tried to put me in physical danger. I was stupid enough to keep our relationship secret because I tend to be a private person. Now I can't tell anybody about my situation because nobody knew about us. Everyone will just think that I'm jealous and trying to ruin their relationship.

She is smart enough to make it publicly known. There will be less abuse on her part. Now I'm wondering has he changed to be a good person. Should I have done the same in order to hold on to him?
forwhatreason
forwhatreason
Only time will help you to heal. Like that song says "it's always darkest before the dawn".... its been 11 months since I discovered what my ex husband is and although I'm not 100% healed, (not sure if any of us will ever be 100%) I've come a far way. I still have my days but theyre not all consumming and filled with tears, mostly rage lol lol ...As far as people realizing the scumbag he truly is that has been happening this past month and I'm not going to lie I feel happy hes bot held in such high regard anymore Even his GF is starting to question him but it took his family and her almost a year to start realizing shit don't add up with him EVER. Ur ex Is not going to be any different to this gf than he was with u. I know because they are incapable of changing. I have access to all my ex'scaccounts and he still makes the same dumb mistakes. Stay in here and get support from all of us. These people have helped me to pull myself up by the boot straps and walk towards the door about to open. I don't post very often anymore but I read almost every day and I'm still being helped. Listen to Bella she knows what she's talking about. Youre going to be better off than when u were with him just give it time. Godspeed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Yes! S are so capable of saying that! It's best if you don't say anything to her. It'll only keep them closer together.
betrayed912
betrayed912
There are times where I keep saying to myself, some criminals change, maybe he can too. Maybe I didn't try hard enough. Maybe somehow she had the determination to turn him into a devoted family man. Then I tell myself I have to remember all the ways he wronged me. I have to learn to accept that I can't be with someone that treated me like that. It is like a chant that I do now.

Yes, this site is like my bible now. Whenever I doubt myself, I read all your words over and over again.
bellanomore
bellanomore
the one important thing you need to really grasp to start healing is that a sociopath is not going to change. nothing you do will be good enough or make him love you enough to stay and "work things out ". in my book they are not even truly human. its not about you doing something different to make things work out , you could try a million behavior changes in yourself and with a sociopath the end result is always the same. they do the same crap over and over again and in all reality they are out to confuse and damage you. nothing else, its like a sport to them, please try and understand this is not about what you did wrong its about the fact that he is broken and will never change his damaging behavior.