Thank you, EyesopenedNthankful,

I came across Avoidant Personality Disorder by accident, in some psych book, somewhere, maybe around 2005. Then, around 2008, I found a yahoo group re it. Avoidant personality involves whatever mental/psychical abuse in childhood, in which the adult person is kinda shy, with various inferiority problems, avoiding lots of situations and people cause of severe fear of rejection, while at same time wanting to be with people. The yahoo advoidant group, in a funny way, was all about a bunch of loners agreeing with one another that being by yourself is best.

(the clarence darrow quote is one of many 200 self-help desktops i found/edit; put something like "motivation" or "procastination" in google image search and there are quotes with images to them.

Darrow was the lawyer who defended the teacher who taught evolution in school about 100 years ago; The Scopes Monkey Trial.)

I'm glad to hear God was able to help you recover. I'm still in my anger phase re my parents, whether I like it or not; a stuck record for me.

For Escapefor1,

I'd like to think I'm a nice enough person, though I'm also willing to admit I can be pretty stupid.:)

At one point I realized I didn't have any future with ms. sociopath, but I put up with her stuff cause she claimed to be schizophrenic----which is a lot more sympathetic mental disorder.

for Ella117,

2 more aspects of sociopaths: they aren't sure of their sexuality. The whatever/gf I was involved with was always claiming that lesbians were coming on to her, though one of them was a female singer in a band my ms sociopath just happened to follow into the women's rest room in a bar after the band performed.

And, #2, phoney emotions: Ms. sociopath would sometimes leave an unfinished letter around, as her way to give me hints, though the last bunch was in her clothing closet, with me respecting her privacy; after our split I found one unfinished letter there in which she wrote to somebody/nobody about how she and sociopaths fake emotions.

One fake emotion/subtle lesbianism combo: ms sociopath was concerned about at least one girl who was having trouble with her boyfriend----though, in retrospect, all interior motives on her part.

@EyesWideOpen I can see why you might think he could be one, and why aagard thought that too. My ex, as messed up as he is, has actually been extremely honest with me. Like for example, when he met Ms S. He didn't lie and beat around the bush that he had feelings for her. He was completely honest with me, even though the truth was painful and "how could you do this to me?" The fact that he was honest about it I could respect. I think that it is important to remember that females can be just as horrible as males. I know you both, you and aagard, had dealt with males, so to me, and not meaning any offense at all just seeing this in an objective logical way, perhaps your opinion is based on your own personal experiences with Male S/P/N. Does that make sense? I think that females might be even more adept at getting away with it because females naturally seem more innocent, and the victim. Believe me, she plays that card. IF they BOTH were, that might make sense, but it definitely isn't a him more than her kind of scenario. And aren't Sociopaths good at convincing others to be like them, like their behavior or certain actions are just? I have been reading the article about Cult Leaders another user had posted. It seems like my ex believes that her way is the right and just way, when really, it's criminal. I don't know anymore. SInce this happened, I realize that you can't really know anybody. At least, knowing this at 28, I am more ahead of the game than most.

@Penntucky Do you think that might be why this Sociopath is obsessed with stalking me, she made a fake PLenty of Fish profile posing as a guy and wanted to meet me. Do you think it is because she is sexually attracted to me? I mean, I used to work as an adult web chat model and she stalked me on that site, where I would be half naked and chatting to people. She harassed me under anonymous names, so I was never sure if it is because she was trying to scare me or maybe she actually has some weird fetish attraction to me. I do know she used to be into S+M, she told my ex that when they first met.

I am bisexual. I cannot be in a relationship with a woman, I love my boyfriend and need that kind of relationship, but I have been with women sexually and I am attracted to them for sure. Thank you for pointing that out, because I just find it really bizarre, the stalking, and then her trying to convince me it wasn't her and that we should be close friends. Sooo f'd up!

Ella117,

My Ms. Sociopath ('gf" is kinda creepy, considering...) one time mentioned how somebody else wanted to be tied up with an electrical extension cord----and then, whenever later, suggested that I tie her up like that for sex....which was a little too rapist-creepy for me, so I just probably nerdly just said "nah..."

It makes a lot of sense that your stalker is into s/m.....anything, any attempt, to FEEL SOMETHING....I'm pretty sure my ms sociopath used the phrase 'feel something" in one of her letters i found.

and being unhappy EVERYWHERE----that's another sociopath trait....they move a lot; before all hell broke loose between us she did see a psychiatrist, who used the word 'diaspora" to her, re her having moved around the usa a lot. her sister, afterwards told me how ms sociopath didn't like living out west----after I told her she didn't like living...in eastern usa.

Read between her lines....if she talks about some weird stuff somebody else did, might be actually what she did.

Oh, and then there's the boozing. Man, could ms sociopath down vodka---and just with water added. Stoli was her favorite.

Mine seems to have something against alcohol. Or so she says. But does tons of drugs. LSD, cocaine, E, Ketamine, lots of psychedelics. Now don't get me wrong. I've done some mushrooms and some LSD in my time as well. I don't anymore, but I have, but she takes it to another level. My ex likes to get high a lot too, but for him it seems more like an escapist thing, he does feel. And some of these emotions are so painful that he would rather NOT feel them. I think she does drugs probably for the exact opposite reason to FEEL something. She has an intense obsession with food, and eating healthy. It amazes me how a person can put so many chemicals into their body, but be a nazi when it comes to food. It just doesn't make sense. Also, the things she says are "bad:" like touching plastic, shes a total hypocrite considering she surfs ( she should research what surfboards are made out of!) its hard to tell if these neuroses are because of a control things or because she actually believes these things or both.

My ex said "I've never met anyone that can handle drugs like she can"

haha; yeah a high tolerance for injesting bad stuff is typical---but again, the person i knew, was starting to feel the bad side effects, in her late 30s.

the eating healthy might be faking it, even to herself---person i knew would want me to eat healthier too...you're supposed to eat healthy; "normal" people eat healthy.

drugs/booze abuse, while worrying otherwise of your health, is pretty typical, from various people i've met, without being a sociopath; everybody has their quirks.

Thanks for sharing your story penntucky! Yes, there is a lot of information about male sociopaths but I think the majority of the information can be easily applied to a female. My exNS is male, however, I believe I know a high-functioning female sociopath and she has so many similarities to my ex. Hopping from relationship to relationship, claiming to be unable to be single, charming, good looking, well spoken, extroverted, overly enthusiastic, tendency to lovebomb and manipulate a target, using vulnerable people for money, worming their way in to people's lives like a parasite, no genuine emotional connection with anyone or anything (eg. partners, children, friends, job, home) ... Does any of this sound familiar?

for lovefighter,

yes, enough of your story sounds familar.

i'm now stuck...;)...remembering some of my own stories, and stuff i read---including setting fires and running away from home when young; supposedly many sociopaths at what ever young age, started fires and ran away from home, though not even far---might be something to ask your female sociopath about, in a roundabout way.

I hope i'm not confusing some of this stuff with borderline personality, which is something my person claimed....I think it's borderline personalties in which they put somebody on a real high pedistal, and then like the cliche goes, can only go down from there; borderlines see people in extreme bw/good or bad, with no middle ground.

Running away from home is something the FS did and doesn't have a close relationship with her parents. It seems her mother seems to try to but I've heard her not talk kindly about her mom and seems she uses her more than actually loves her. She is estranged from her father. Her father had an affair with the babysitter, and she was the product of that. What is interesting to note on a "WTF" scale and how sometimes the universe literally thrusts things into your life, her half sister actually rented the place behind mine and my ex's and realized a few months after they met. And wham, shes right out here visiting her sister.Was like a door just blew open for her to enter MY life, how does someone so evil get so "lucky". WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF THAT considering FS NEVER lived in my city and at the time was living 8 hours away?! Even explaining the whole entire story makes me sound crazy. My ex met her at a music festival of THOUSANDS of people in a COMPLETELY different part of the province. All of that coincidence just blows my mind.